The 10 Week War

The war started as many do.

A few scouts were sent out to survey the land they wished to invade. These undercover agents passed detection based solely on the lack of numbers. They seemed harmless at first, just surveying a new land.

As the numbers slowly increased the presence of the current few didn’t decrease, the land under attack took notice. Slowly yet deliberately the host nation took to snuffing out any invaders. Any invader found in the nation was put to immediate death.

After a few days it appeared the invaders have given up, the land was no longer under attack. The host nation foolishly let down its guard. Just what the invaders had hoped for.

One morning the invaders returned, this time in numbers. The nation found them attempting to penetrate a crude barrier erected earlier. The nation systematically destroyed all the insurgents and performed a deep cleansing of the nation in attempt to stymie any more attacks.

Chemical warfare was used. Blockades put up. Surveillance posts monitored.

The nation put into effect new rules in attempt to keep the invaders at bay.

While the host nation enforced tactics of deadly force it also abided by a set of rules. When possible only means that posed little to no harm to the host nation may be used. Natural elements were to be used only unless in dire circumstances. Only then could potential harmful pathogens be used.

While the invasion decreased somewhat it did not completely stop so the host nation tried a new tactic.

Bait the invaders with what they want and let their own greed be their down fall.

Traps where set, the invaders came in numbers. The host nation kept sentry, but did not attack. It monitored the traps, tracked the numbers and noticed after a short while the invaders decreased. Soon no more were found.

But the war was not over.

After the return of favorable weather from a deep polar plunge the invaders, too, returned. In a hunt once 

more for what they sought before.

The host nation, having kept a close eye on the point of penetration since the initial invasion, noticed their return once more.

Once again chemical warfare was deployed more quickly then the first invasion in an attempt to drive the invaders away more swiftly this time.

A new tactic deployed by the host nation was to obliterate any trail of the invaders so those following would lose their way or better yet be discouraged and turn back. Perhaps set their sights upon another nation to invade.

While this new tactic was being tested the host nation once more set up sentry. Any invader returning from the nation was subsequently executed. Any new invader was observed to see if the trail was successfully destroyed.

Many new emergers from enemy lines seemed confused from the start, not following the direct path. If the new invaders wandered to close to the boundary they met a swift death or sudden imprisonment by a whirling vortex.

It is unfortunate to admit the host nation had made a sport of terminating the invaders.

But the nation did not wish to destroy every last invader. Instead it simply wished to banish them from its lands forever. Teach the invaders that the nation was not indeed an easy mark.

The host nation could call in back up. It was, after all, part of treaties with allied forces who would respond to this invasion. The host nation was too proud for this, saving it for the very last moment when it became clear the war would go to the invaders. The host nation also feared the type of warfare the allies would deploy. As said before the host nation preferred a more holistic approach to its liquidation of the invaders. While in the end the result would be the same, something can be said by the method. The host nation did not want a public image of overt cruelty.

While the war itself may not be over the host nation continues to win the battles. It waits the day when the invaders’ spirit is broken and it retreats for good. Until that day comes the nation will continue to fight for full control of its land.

(Ants!)

The Things I Wish I Could Say

At work I interact with a ton of people. Customers, coworkers, whatever. There's a lot of people around. And some days when people are being particularly annoying/dumb/idiotic it's hard for my to bite my tongue and not give them sarcastic answers. I know I'm not the only one. So here are a few of the reoccurring things that get under my skin.

While walking on the sales floor and a customer comes up and just blurts a product (CROUTONS!) without a hi or an excuse me or can you help me, I want to look at them, point to my name tag and say "actually no it's Katie." If you are one of those people, the turrets syndrome product yeller, just don't. Don't. It's a little rude.

Some customers seem to like to go all hippie be-one-with-what-they-are-looking-for when asking where something is.  For example: "If I was pizza sauce, where would I be?" The response that I some day would love to give: the insane asylum. Cause if you think you are a jar of pizza sauce you are friggin' nuts. Don't hypothesis and go meta-whatever the shit. Just ask for what you're looking for. Seriously.

Then there is the out of stock stare off. Customer: "Do you have any more Jalapeno stuffed olives?" Me: "No sorry, we don't" Customer: "Oh" and continues to stand there and look at you. I want to tell them ok, I went back and looked and no we don't have any so you standing there staring is gonna make 'em appear so shoo. This conversation was over an awkward 20 seconds ago.

Then there are the people who get mad when something is out of stock for a recall. They get huffy and pissy and act like it is my fault that Keebler recalled something. Those people I want to tell "Well if you really want it, it was just pulled off the shelf like an hour ago so it might still be sitting by the trash so if you'd like for me to go and get you one, you can have it for free and play salmonella roulette with it since that's why it was recalled." It's a freaking RECALL people! They do those for a reason for christsake. Lose the 'tude. 

There's the screamers who see you at the other end of the aisle, yell to get your attention and seem pissed off when at first you don't respond since there are about 12 other people in the aisle who could be the one you're screaming "EXCUSE ME MA'AM" to. I want to tell those people they need to use indoor voices.

Then there is the silent reacher. They come up and reach around you for something. Those people I would like to tell them they need to use their words. The vast majority of the time you can sense a person and move but the ninja like quite ones can sneak up. There have been far too many near boob grazes because of the silent reachers. When that happens I want to tell them you need to buy me a drink first before you start reaching for that region.

I just don't get why when some people enter a retail place they just go dumb. I just don't get. What is it about those places that bring out the rude? I bet the same people don't go to a doctor appointment and be such dbags. Is it a status thing? Less respect for the blue collar workers? (Oh wait, I just googled it and it'd actually be considered pink collar. Well that is just sexist! But that's for another post...maybe) Anyway, if it is a status thing then they can shove it. Seriously. In the long run what do you appreciate and need more, a friendly store you frequent a couple of times a month or a doctor's visit once a year? Think about it.

Innocence Lost

Innocence lost in lives taken far too soon.

Innocence lost in the survivors who witnessed horrific acts no one in their life should ever see, let alone school aged children.

Those poor sweet babies who had barley begun life.

Let's not forget the adults in all of this of course. 

Such a sad world we live in.

Them Dems

The smell of Democracy is in the air.

It's Election Day in America. What a wonderful day.

I sure as hell hope it turns out the way I want it to. If not...well I'm not going to move to Canada. Although I do like their national anthem. It's pretty. The metric system would do me in. I'm too much of a smug American and would expect people to tell me distances in miles and shit like that.

So back to it being Election Day....

I voted early. And by early I mean early in the day. None of this voting days before hand. I love the option but it isn't for me. It feels more....fun to do it on the day. There's the sweet old ladies who are poll workers, getting the sticker and being able to see what number you are for the day. 749 if you were curious. It feels more real when you vote on the day.

No surprises here when I say I voted a straight Democratic ticket. I like them Dems. The Democratic platform might not be perfect but it works for me. I know I've said it before but I'm primarily a democrat for personal rights. Like abortion, gay marriage, civil liberties. You know, crap like that. I find it interesting that the Republicans like small governments cause they don't think the government should be all up in your grill but they sure as hell don't have a problem being all up in a person's personal, private business. That silly GOP. 

Stories

In case you were curious. Yes, Yes I do suck at blogging.

Anyway here I am. I'm on pace for about four posts this year. Awesome.

So I thought I would use this one to write down an Addisyn story or two.

Here's one from a while ago. She was out at Grandma and Grandpa's for the weekend and we were all in the kitchen. Addy was standing next to gramps when she turned to him, looked up with anger on her face and said to him "Stop pullin' my hair Grandpa!" He asked her what? and she said again "stop pullin' my HAIR!" Grandpa said no, I'm not pulling your hair. She kept looking at him with angry eyes and walked away not believing he didn't pull it. Turns out it was just some static that made her hair get caught on a button of his shirt. Might not sound like a great story but the look on her face and the way she told him to stop was pretty funny. Also helps she was about two at the time and the amount of anger she could muster up at the time was amusing to me. I know two year olds can get pretty pissed but before that it was usually over the normal things like wanting to play or not going to sleep and crap like that.

A couple of weeks ago we were sitting around and I told Addisyn is she said "ROGERS!" and do the discount double check belt like in the commercials I'd give her some candy. And she asked if it was a "Candy Kiss"? Since when I still had some leftover candy cane kisses I'd load my pockets with them to bribe kisses from her. Yeah, I force her to love me. What of it? Anyway I told her no, I was all out of candy cane kisses and held out a different piece of candy instead. So she came over, took it and then proceeded to play the part of me in the scenarios when I would bribe her for kisses. She put the kiss down the back of her underwear (she's a nudist, she likes to spend her time in her underwear since she knows she can't go naked like she wants), brushed the hair off my forehead and asked "would you like a candy kiss?" I told her I would. "But first, you have to give me a kiss!" she said. So I did. Then she reached down her pants to get the candy but she couldn't find it since it fell to the bottom of her butt. So I had to dig it out. Yay. She's just a silly girl.

Ok fine my stories might not be all that amazing to read but the memories they bring back to me are great. My little Chubs isn't so little anymore and soon these sort of goofy and silly stories will lose a little bit of magic since to me there's just something special about the toddler years. Yeah I don't know too many kids first hand but I dunno. Just from baby sitting and all that I always enjoyed it better when the kids where under the age of five. Chubs is going to be four (!) in a few months. We're talking 4k soon after and then school. School! Craziness.

Fantastic News! (3 Months Later)

Holy crap how could I forget to blog about this?

My lovely Craigy Counsell is back with the Brewers!!!!!


Oooooonly not as a player. He retired  :(
 He's now a ball boy. ...ok, ok. That was lame. He now works in the Front Office. And who better to welcome him to his new gig then Milwaukee's own Mr Arthur Fonzarelli?

  

I Probably Hate You

If you are a parent, bad news. I probably hate you.

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No seriously. I most likely do. (Ok most likely not) Want a further explanation? No? Well too bad buttheads you're going to get one.

It dawned on me a few months ago that, god damnit, I don't think I like kids as much as I thought. From my time of working days when stay at home parents descend on the stores en mass with their sometimes crying, screaming, snot nosed little punks  I began to think "Holy nuts are these little turds annoying."

I held on to this thought and came up with the "I like kids if I know them" mentality to make me not feel like such a dick. But then I had an epiphany a few weeks ago. The vast majority of my gripes are not with the little buggers but with their parents. They are the annoying ones who, in a sense, push their kids on me and automatically assume I care about them. Newsflash: I don't. I'll come back to this in a minute with more explanation but...I'm glad I finally nailed it down. I can like kids again! Well minus the exception of just plain terrible children. They do exist. We all know it.

So back my assertion of I don't care about other people's kids. In the broad sense of it all I do. I will never actively work to...negatively effect a child. I'm not gonna be mean to them. But if you think I give a crap your kid will only eat the really small apples and all mine are looking a little to big you are sorely mistaken.  If your kid throws their snack all over the floor and you expect me to pick it up then bitch please. That's not my fault. Clean up after you're own kid.

I guess my bottom line and main point is I do not like it when randos think I care about their kids as much as they do. They are yours, they are not mine. They are your responsibility, they are not my responsibility. It's not like I'm a total ass about kids. I love my niece more then anything. She is, quite simply, amazing. I love all the kids in my family. But if I'm out with Addisyn I'm not going to assume that everyone else around us cares for her as much as I do and she should get the complete adoration I give her from strangers.

Though side note: apparently as aunts are concerned my sister and I can be a little bit of hard asses with her. We don't hesitate to discipline her or give her a time out. We don't take her attitude all that much. Am I complete push over in some ways? You betchya. I still remain a sucker of baby kisses. Addy wants a piece of candy before dinner and she lays one on me? Baby is going to get her piece of candy, believe you me.

Anyway, back on topic. ....Well no, actually I think I've made my points. It might make me seem like an ass but I don't think I really am. I think on some level a lot of people share similar feelings and my mind numbing and painfully routine at times job allows for me to think about stuff like this while working.

I just implore some parents to use the wide lens and see the full picture. Your kids are your world and no one is going to say it shouldn't be that way, they just probably don't mean nearly as much to those you randomly encounter so don't push them on people. They just might write a blog about you.