As Thieves Go By...

Could somebody please explain to me why the frequent small time thief has been deemed off limits?

Why is it now suddenly ok to let this chick go on her stealing ways? Sure what she steals or "forgets" to pay for doesn't amount to more then a few dollars but it's the principle of it all! She steals! It's a crime to shoplift! She does it all the time yet we are supposed to leave her alone?! I call bullshit on this one.

The woman is a little weird in the head but clearly not incapacitated by it enough to justify her sticky fingers. She knows what she's doing is wrong because if I stalk her she goes the other way. She's been kicked out thrice but for some unknown reason she's been let in after begging for mercy and we've been told to leave her alone.

No I don't think I will, thank you very much. I will continue to stare her down whenever she's in the store. I'll keep her afraid of me. Generally when she gets to the checkouts she avoids me. She'll go the other direction, go to a different line and if I move around so I'm closer she'll line jump. But that was difficult for her the other night when I was the only option. What did she do? Put her stuff back. That's right, instead of going through my line she put it back. You have no idea how happy this makes me!

I am seriously thrilled I have my first thief who fears me. It makes for exciting days. It really does. It gives me a bit of a power trip and strokes my ego just enough to make me feel good about myself. And I can't lie, I do like it when I get to be mean. I've got to be nice all day long to jackasses and idiots that when I get to be mean and don't have to worry about it, it feels absolutely amazing.

It's similar to the feeling when I tell someone they're wrong after they are absolutely convinced they are right:

Them-"The sign said it was .99 cents a pound for the chicken!"
Me-"Ok I'll go take a look. (come back) No, that sign is for hamburger."
Them-"I don't believe it."
Me-"Well, we can go look together if you want."
Them-"Let's go"
Me-(pointing)"99 cents on the ground beef"
Them-"...oh. I don't want it then at that price!"
Me-"Ok"
Them-"Those signs are so difficult to read!"
Me-"Ok."

I personally think reading in general is difficult for the vast majority of people.

Then there are the people who come up pissed because they can't find something so I'll say what aisle it's in, they say they looked all up and down it and can't find it. So I walk them to it, right where I said it'd be then they continue to be huffy. I don't mind it when people say something like "Oh guess I'm blind!" But I do mind when they continue to be jerks.

I should make the switch to loss prevention. I'd get to stalk thieves all day long AND I'd get to be mean!

Going to Extremes

I have a question for all the Extreme Couponers out there:

What the hell do you do with 300 2 liters of soda before it expires?

Or what do you do with 112 bottles of medicine before it too expires?

Honest to God I want to know. Sure you might give some to charity, to your family or to friends but what about the remaining 200 liters?

Yes, please do stock up on 20 cans of tuna fish because you get them for free since the store is running a special of 2/ $1. And then do it again in four weeks when it comes back around on the ad cycle.

Don't these people realize they can coupon and still get deals without having to acquire a stockpile that could supply an Army outfit for an enitre minor police action?

Congratulations on your 54 bottles of laundry detergent, I know the other 78 you had at home were getting lonely.

I can't help but think "hey, great! You're saving money and I'm all for that but how much food do you end up wasting cause you forgot about the 265 packets of noodles you bought in '09 that were on the back shelf in your storage unit you have to keep for all your shit?"

At what point do these couponers think to themselves "oh hey, I'm set for about 4 years maybe I'll quit buying"?

Perhaps it is because I have to deal with couponers that I'm so against it but get real. You bought $450 worth of groceries last week for $7.34 and you're doing it again this week? Lay off! Hold back! Give it a rest!

It's an addiction, that's what it is. Yes they coupon for the most part out of necessity and to save some cash but a little part of it has to do with an addiction I think. They can't give it up or reel it in to normal standards because it is their crack. They've got addictive personalities. I bet a dollar if I gave them all a pack of smokes half of them would end up addicted.

Ok so perhaps that last part isn't true but I do think there is some addictive void being filled by couponing. Why? Because no one needs 167 packs of disposable razors at, well, their disposal! It is obscene!

I could take the couponers if 8 out of 10 weren't complete assholes. No, I am not going to check through your coupons for you to make sure the highest price ones are doubled. No I'm not going to sift through your coupons to make sure the ones you gave me actually work. If they're expired, they're expired don't try to get me to use it. If it's from another store no we don't take it even though it is a manufacture's coupon. Suck it, I don't care. Yes, amazingly enough your math might be wrong.

Another part that annoys me is how they hold up the lines. God damn do they slow the place down. Half of it is because they aren't organized, half of it is because they can't read and don't get the right product.

So let's just recap: I hate extreme couponers. And even the less extreme ones.