The Things I Wish I Could Say

At work I interact with a ton of people. Customers, coworkers, whatever. There's a lot of people around. And some days when people are being particularly annoying/dumb/idiotic it's hard for my to bite my tongue and not give them sarcastic answers. I know I'm not the only one. So here are a few of the reoccurring things that get under my skin.

While walking on the sales floor and a customer comes up and just blurts a product (CROUTONS!) without a hi or an excuse me or can you help me, I want to look at them, point to my name tag and say "actually no it's Katie." If you are one of those people, the turrets syndrome product yeller, just don't. Don't. It's a little rude.

Some customers seem to like to go all hippie be-one-with-what-they-are-looking-for when asking where something is.  For example: "If I was pizza sauce, where would I be?" The response that I some day would love to give: the insane asylum. Cause if you think you are a jar of pizza sauce you are friggin' nuts. Don't hypothesis and go meta-whatever the shit. Just ask for what you're looking for. Seriously.

Then there is the out of stock stare off. Customer: "Do you have any more Jalapeno stuffed olives?" Me: "No sorry, we don't" Customer: "Oh" and continues to stand there and look at you. I want to tell them ok, I went back and looked and no we don't have any so you standing there staring is gonna make 'em appear so shoo. This conversation was over an awkward 20 seconds ago.

Then there are the people who get mad when something is out of stock for a recall. They get huffy and pissy and act like it is my fault that Keebler recalled something. Those people I want to tell "Well if you really want it, it was just pulled off the shelf like an hour ago so it might still be sitting by the trash so if you'd like for me to go and get you one, you can have it for free and play salmonella roulette with it since that's why it was recalled." It's a freaking RECALL people! They do those for a reason for christsake. Lose the 'tude. 

There's the screamers who see you at the other end of the aisle, yell to get your attention and seem pissed off when at first you don't respond since there are about 12 other people in the aisle who could be the one you're screaming "EXCUSE ME MA'AM" to. I want to tell those people they need to use indoor voices.

Then there is the silent reacher. They come up and reach around you for something. Those people I would like to tell them they need to use their words. The vast majority of the time you can sense a person and move but the ninja like quite ones can sneak up. There have been far too many near boob grazes because of the silent reachers. When that happens I want to tell them you need to buy me a drink first before you start reaching for that region.

I just don't get why when some people enter a retail place they just go dumb. I just don't get. What is it about those places that bring out the rude? I bet the same people don't go to a doctor appointment and be such dbags. Is it a status thing? Less respect for the blue collar workers? (Oh wait, I just googled it and it'd actually be considered pink collar. Well that is just sexist! But that's for another post...maybe) Anyway, if it is a status thing then they can shove it. Seriously. In the long run what do you appreciate and need more, a friendly store you frequent a couple of times a month or a doctor's visit once a year? Think about it.