The game isn't even over but yes Jeff Suppan, you have earned the Jerk Stamp. Put your thumb down you goon! I wish I could be guaranteed a ton of money and then suck and be like "haha! Screw you! You're stuck with me now, suckas!"
But let's not forget the good. The Brewers offense was superb the last three days...until now. Ugh. But let's celebrate the past by awarding the Stud Stamp to the offense!
Oh you boys. You suck, then I hate you. Your good and then I love you. What an emotional roller coaster you put me on!
Geez.
Oh and here's just a hilarious picture of Tim Lincecum from the Giants. If I lived anywhere near San Francisco or had the money to up and go, I would've went to this game. A Giants Snuggie! Bad. Ass.
So I got to thinking. I should really have a positive stamp for when the Brewers do good. And so I made one. Welcome the Stud Stamp to my dangerous repertoire.
OK so in all honesty I'm not a fan of the word stud. It makes me think of "Saved by the Bell" way to much. But I couldn't come up with a better word. I thought sexy, hot stuff, and things like that but it didn't really work. So reluctantly I went with stud.
And say hello to the recent recipients of the very non-prestigious stud stamp award! In this corner we have the wispy Whitefish Bay native Craig Counsell for hitting a grand slam on Sunday! And in the other corner we have the lumberjack in the offseason, David Bush! Who's pitching last night finally made the Brewers starting rotation look like a major league squad!And yes keen observer that is not a picture from last nights game. The one I found would just be cruel to post. He looked terrible. I think it should be outlawed to post pictures of pitchers mid toss. Their faces always look messed up.
There you have it! Keep your excitement at a minimum. It will be difficult to do.
Here are the Jerk of the Day award winners from Wednesday.
First we have Senor Ken Macha for not pulling LaTroy Hawkins in the 8th And then Mr. Hawkins himself for giving up all those runs with two outs. Yeah. You're a jerk mister. A big ol Jerk.
And who notices the subtle change to the jerk stamp? Good.
You know what the start of the Brewers season means?
Well yes lots of Brewers posts. No that's not going to change any.
It means you once again are lucky enough to be subjected to my sweet, sweet Photoshoped pictures.
Behold!
Why yes Trevor Hoffman! Your two blown saves already have earned you the Jerk of the Day Award! Luckily Mr. McGehee was there to save the day. And then today it was Doug Davis. Contain your excitement! I know your super stoked to see that I've added the Jerk of the Day feature in addition to the jackass guy. I don't know why I decided on Jerk of the Day but let me tell you, that damn little stamp thing took me a while to make in Photoshop! It'll probably see some tweaking soon but I was getting frustrated by it.
Oh my goodness I can't believe I haven't blogged about Opening Day!
In one word it was amazing. Sure they lost which took away from it a little bit but come on, it was mutha f-ing Opening Day! That alone makes the day 100x better. Plus it was a gorgeous day, there was good food and good company and Craig Counsell played a few innings. Whaaaaat!
There's nothing like being drunk before noon let me tell you. Though I am out of drinking shape. I should have started my spring training earlier. I got all summer to get there.
Anyway. What's there to say about Opening Day besides it's the Christmas of Spring. It's Yom Kippur to those who worship baseball. I guess that makes Opening Week Passover. Though shit son, like hell I'm going to refrain from drinking beer during that week. Right. I don't know why I'm going with the religious references. Oh. I also might have bought myself a nice present at the game. ...ahehehehehe. It makes me smile.
Ok. Here's some pictures from the day:
Look! It's the Happiest Place on Earth! Miller Park! The view from our seats.
Braun batting. Look who it iiiiiiissssss! Yaaaaaaayyyy! He almost hit a home run which means I almost peed my pants.
Oh Brewers, how I miss you during the winter time!
Though you know what I don't miss? Them losing. For real Trevor Hoffman? Two out with two strikes in the 9th and you give up a two run homer that lets the Cardinals take the lead? Are you kidding me? Though the symmetry of it all is quite pleasing. Lots of twos. But the loss isn't. Win today boys.
SeñorCounsell just seems like he'd be good at dancing. Evidence of this statement includes:
Exhibit A- Exhibit B- Exhibit C- Exhibit D- Exhibit E- Ok I could go on but I think it's starting to come across creepy...or just observant. Naw. A little creepy.
One of my favorite songs that plays at work on pretty much a daily basis is "Do You Believe Me Now"
Granted it's not a typical song that I like. But for some reason I enjoy it while at work. Maybe because it's easy to sing to and I always sing while at work. I have a terrible voice but that does not stop me. Maybe it's because it sounds good against the empty aisles. It does. I don't think it could be called an echo or even a ringing but for some reason it fills the store quite nicely. I enjoy that. So I sing. And I sing bad.
Typical times you'll find me singing include: while bagging, while walking through the aisles or while walking to get cigarettes. I even sing at the register too but most of the time that's in more of a hushed tone. All the other times I sing loud and proud. Well, not really but I sing more above a whisper. I get singing quite loud while in the aisles. I'll turn a corner singing and there stands a manager. Then it's a "Uh yeahhh about that..." moment and I just walk away. Oh, I whistle more while checking. Except I can't whistle so it's a really feeble/weak/poor sound but I try.
One of my other favorites to sing? "Your Love" by The Outfield. Josie's on a vacation far away! Come around and talk it over, so many things that I want to say, you know I like my girls a little bit older. I just want to lose your love toniggggggght! I don't want to lose your love toniiiiight! Another reason I like that song? Frank Catalonatto's at bat song last year. Yes, I've blogged about that before. Yes, I'm going to miss him this year.
Another song that gets a lot of people singing is Elton John's "I Guess that's Why They Call It the Blues" Time on my hands! Could be time spent with you!
Yeeahhhh. They play a whole variety there. Some good, some bad. Some great, some that make me want to scream. Phil Collins I'm looking at you on that last one. Some I'm just ashamed of liking and some I just like to sing to. Like "The Circle of Life."
Man, that's two Elton John songs in one blog post. Yikes.
So yeah...that's, uh, it. Mmhm.
ETA OH! Speaking of singing! Does anyone else remember Preparation H Raymond from Late Night with Conan? Anyway he always sung a song and I always start to sing the "Raymond's here! Raymond's here!" part whenever I see a manager for the first time in a day. Why? Cause guess his name.
