Fantastic News! (3 Months Later)

Holy crap how could I forget to blog about this?

My lovely Craigy Counsell is back with the Brewers!!!!!


Oooooonly not as a player. He retired  :(
 He's now a ball boy. ...ok, ok. That was lame. He now works in the Front Office. And who better to welcome him to his new gig then Milwaukee's own Mr Arthur Fonzarelli?

  

I Probably Hate You

If you are a parent, bad news. I probably hate you.

.....

...

..

....................

No seriously. I most likely do. (Ok most likely not) Want a further explanation? No? Well too bad buttheads you're going to get one.

It dawned on me a few months ago that, god damnit, I don't think I like kids as much as I thought. From my time of working days when stay at home parents descend on the stores en mass with their sometimes crying, screaming, snot nosed little punks  I began to think "Holy nuts are these little turds annoying."

I held on to this thought and came up with the "I like kids if I know them" mentality to make me not feel like such a dick. But then I had an epiphany a few weeks ago. The vast majority of my gripes are not with the little buggers but with their parents. They are the annoying ones who, in a sense, push their kids on me and automatically assume I care about them. Newsflash: I don't. I'll come back to this in a minute with more explanation but...I'm glad I finally nailed it down. I can like kids again! Well minus the exception of just plain terrible children. They do exist. We all know it.

So back my assertion of I don't care about other people's kids. In the broad sense of it all I do. I will never actively work to...negatively effect a child. I'm not gonna be mean to them. But if you think I give a crap your kid will only eat the really small apples and all mine are looking a little to big you are sorely mistaken.  If your kid throws their snack all over the floor and you expect me to pick it up then bitch please. That's not my fault. Clean up after you're own kid.

I guess my bottom line and main point is I do not like it when randos think I care about their kids as much as they do. They are yours, they are not mine. They are your responsibility, they are not my responsibility. It's not like I'm a total ass about kids. I love my niece more then anything. She is, quite simply, amazing. I love all the kids in my family. But if I'm out with Addisyn I'm not going to assume that everyone else around us cares for her as much as I do and she should get the complete adoration I give her from strangers.

Though side note: apparently as aunts are concerned my sister and I can be a little bit of hard asses with her. We don't hesitate to discipline her or give her a time out. We don't take her attitude all that much. Am I complete push over in some ways? You betchya. I still remain a sucker of baby kisses. Addy wants a piece of candy before dinner and she lays one on me? Baby is going to get her piece of candy, believe you me.

Anyway, back on topic. ....Well no, actually I think I've made my points. It might make me seem like an ass but I don't think I really am. I think on some level a lot of people share similar feelings and my mind numbing and painfully routine at times job allows for me to think about stuff like this while working.

I just implore some parents to use the wide lens and see the full picture. Your kids are your world and no one is going to say it shouldn't be that way, they just probably don't mean nearly as much to those you randomly encounter so don't push them on people. They just might write a blog about you. 

UPDATE: Do You Believe in Magic?

Great news slushie fans! Beer does in fact slushify in the Slushie Magic!

Bad news: You have got to be careful when it comes to the shaky because it may or may not result in beer being sprayed across a kitchen wall. And I may or may not know this from experience.

The taste of a beer slushie is alright. Not the same as drinking a beer, obviously, but the flavor is still there. The beer hasn't really been tainted by any outside forces so it's honestly just a slushed up beer. Actually I think it's more of the foam that slushes but frozen beer foam is better then regular beer foam.

Also some great news. There is a Slush Puppie machine in the gas station down the road!!! How have I lived here for over a year and never knew it? Mmm. I foresee Slush Puppies in my near future.

Do You Believe in Magic?

I think I got one of the coolest Christmas presents this year.

A Slushie Magic!

What is this intriguing device, you ask? Well! First you have to freeze the magical ice cubes and then you put them and the beverage of choice in the included plastic tumbler and you shaky shaky shake that SOB until *gasp* slush forms!

I was worried, let me tell you, that it was going to be a load of crap. That my pure, childlike excitement was going to be for naught. And I did have a scare that it wasn't going to work the first time I used it. It probably was do to the vodka I was trying to slush up with juice.

Wait what's that? Is it the main purpose of my Slushie Magic to make alcoholic slushies? You bettchya!

After the panic I thought to myself well, booze doesn't freeze the juice does and this new fangled "snowflake technology" might not have what it takes to slushify vodka. So the next round (Yeah, I've got two of 'em) I did just juice and you know what? IT TURNED INTO A SLUSHIE!!!!!!! I really can't explain how happy that made me, that this actually worked. So now I've decided I'll have to slushie up the juice first then add the vodka to get my vodka slushie. Seems fool proof to me. Maybe I'll stick the vodka in the freezer a little before hand so it's chilled and won't melt the slush right away.

Now I'm curious about what other things I can come up with. Will beer slush? It freezes, or comes close to it, so I don't see why it wouldn't. And beer slush can't be terrible since I wouldn't think it would become watered down since I'm not introducing any ice to it. I can now make slushie Dr. Pepper and Southern Comforts!

Do I intend on using it for non-alcoholic things? Mmm. Not really but I'm open to trying it since I LOVE SLUSHIES! For real. I don't know what it is about them but good god are they amazing.

Well done TO on the gift...well done indeed :)

Oh. I forgot to mention it comes with a spoon straw. yeah. As if it couldn't be any better, they throw that in. And a coozy so my hands don't get cold! What smart, smart individuals at Slushie Magic!

Ain't No Sunshine

My seasonal depression just got worse.


Doug Melvin has said he isn't going to bring my dear Craigy Counsell back for next year.

Is...is this what heartbreak feels like? 

Am I ever going to be able to smile again?

Will I be about the watch a Brewers game next season without choking up knowing his ass isn't riding the pine? 

I may need to drink to cope with this.

And the Eye(brows) Have It!

For some unexplainable reason I check out eyebrows.

It isn't the first thing I look at in a dude but after the normal face, ass,smile and amount of fat (that's shallow sounding...) comes eyebrows. And there isn't a right or wrong when it comes to them. Some guys look good with eyebrows others wouldn't. I can't define exactly what I like. I know it when I see it. I may or may not have a Great Eyebrow List that you may or may not be shown right now. (You totally are)

This list is in no ranking of Greatness, just a general collection.

-Derek Morgan from Criminal Minds

  
-Aaron Rodgers

-Nick Stokes from CSI

-Jake Gyllenhaal

-Tech Man
 Due to unfortunate circumstances (he doesn't know we are to be married) I don't have a picture of Tech Man and his awesome eyebrows so you'll just have to take my word for it. They're the only real life eyebrows that I have a pleasure of seeing.


Yeah yeah yeah. Start your judging of me.

Turn Around, Right Around

If you're every at a store and you're looking for something and can't find it but spot a employee, do yourself a favor and look around. Do a 360, take in your surroundings before asking that employee where the product is.

Why? Because I kid you not 95 percent of the time, it's very scientific and accurate math I've used to come up with this, it is behind you. Or right in front of you. Or right next to you.

You might think I'm kidding but I'm not. All it takes to show a customer where a product is a little point and a "Oh, it's right there." Or a "Right behind you ma'am." Which is always followed by some witty retort of "Oooh, maybe I should open my eyes!"

Yeah. A perk to the new department is I get to learn all sorts of new things about people that I missed when I was on the front. What are they you ask? Well besides the people not finding things right in front of their face the people who think it's a big deal or really great to take something from the box you're stocking from. "Oh I'll just take one of these.ahehehehe!" Ok then! That's what they are there for. Or when they say something like "Oh now I'm messing up your pretty display!" That's ok since if no one did I wouldn't be selling stuff. If you're one of those people just....stop. For the love of whatever is holy, just don't. If you think what you're about to say is really funny or witty take a moment and think 'how long did it take me to come up with this? Three seconds? Ok it's probably already been said a million times before.' Another thing I find interesting, people who like to play chicken with a pallet. They must be the same people who drive their cars in front of a line of carts. Hey man I'll try to stop but if I mow you over it's kind of you're own fault since this bitch is a little heavy, I'm a lot weak and when it gets rolling watch out! I don't have anti lock breaks or anything.

Here's another observation. A fair few of the people I work with now can have pissy streaks and it's a little fun to hear them complain to each other about the others pissyness. And then when one is pissy to me I think they are just a little bit disappointed I don't react. What they all seem to fail to realize is I've dealt with pissy people-customers, employees, managers-day in day out for 10 months when I was running the front. It is going to take a whole lot to get a reaction from me. Yeah I'll be pissed on the inside but on the outside? Oh no. Cool as a cucumber. I think a lot of people in my current locale need some tips on how to deal with people better. They can be quite the unhelpful bunch. And rude. And pissy. But then they can be great. ...Sometimes.