The Things I Wish I Could Say

At work I interact with a ton of people. Customers, coworkers, whatever. There's a lot of people around. And some days when people are being particularly annoying/dumb/idiotic it's hard for my to bite my tongue and not give them sarcastic answers. I know I'm not the only one. So here are a few of the reoccurring things that get under my skin.

While walking on the sales floor and a customer comes up and just blurts a product (CROUTONS!) without a hi or an excuse me or can you help me, I want to look at them, point to my name tag and say "actually no it's Katie." If you are one of those people, the turrets syndrome product yeller, just don't. Don't. It's a little rude.

Some customers seem to like to go all hippie be-one-with-what-they-are-looking-for when asking where something is.  For example: "If I was pizza sauce, where would I be?" The response that I some day would love to give: the insane asylum. Cause if you think you are a jar of pizza sauce you are friggin' nuts. Don't hypothesis and go meta-whatever the shit. Just ask for what you're looking for. Seriously.

Then there is the out of stock stare off. Customer: "Do you have any more Jalapeno stuffed olives?" Me: "No sorry, we don't" Customer: "Oh" and continues to stand there and look at you. I want to tell them ok, I went back and looked and no we don't have any so you standing there staring is gonna make 'em appear so shoo. This conversation was over an awkward 20 seconds ago.

Then there are the people who get mad when something is out of stock for a recall. They get huffy and pissy and act like it is my fault that Keebler recalled something. Those people I want to tell "Well if you really want it, it was just pulled off the shelf like an hour ago so it might still be sitting by the trash so if you'd like for me to go and get you one, you can have it for free and play salmonella roulette with it since that's why it was recalled." It's a freaking RECALL people! They do those for a reason for christsake. Lose the 'tude. 

There's the screamers who see you at the other end of the aisle, yell to get your attention and seem pissed off when at first you don't respond since there are about 12 other people in the aisle who could be the one you're screaming "EXCUSE ME MA'AM" to. I want to tell those people they need to use indoor voices.

Then there is the silent reacher. They come up and reach around you for something. Those people I would like to tell them they need to use their words. The vast majority of the time you can sense a person and move but the ninja like quite ones can sneak up. There have been far too many near boob grazes because of the silent reachers. When that happens I want to tell them you need to buy me a drink first before you start reaching for that region.

I just don't get why when some people enter a retail place they just go dumb. I just don't get. What is it about those places that bring out the rude? I bet the same people don't go to a doctor appointment and be such dbags. Is it a status thing? Less respect for the blue collar workers? (Oh wait, I just googled it and it'd actually be considered pink collar. Well that is just sexist! But that's for another post...maybe) Anyway, if it is a status thing then they can shove it. Seriously. In the long run what do you appreciate and need more, a friendly store you frequent a couple of times a month or a doctor's visit once a year? Think about it.

Innocence Lost

Innocence lost in lives taken far too soon.

Innocence lost in the survivors who witnessed horrific acts no one in their life should ever see, let alone school aged children.

Those poor sweet babies who had barley begun life.

Let's not forget the adults in all of this of course. 

Such a sad world we live in.

Them Dems

The smell of Democracy is in the air.

It's Election Day in America. What a wonderful day.

I sure as hell hope it turns out the way I want it to. If not...well I'm not going to move to Canada. Although I do like their national anthem. It's pretty. The metric system would do me in. I'm too much of a smug American and would expect people to tell me distances in miles and shit like that.

So back to it being Election Day....

I voted early. And by early I mean early in the day. None of this voting days before hand. I love the option but it isn't for me. It feels more....fun to do it on the day. There's the sweet old ladies who are poll workers, getting the sticker and being able to see what number you are for the day. 749 if you were curious. It feels more real when you vote on the day.

No surprises here when I say I voted a straight Democratic ticket. I like them Dems. The Democratic platform might not be perfect but it works for me. I know I've said it before but I'm primarily a democrat for personal rights. Like abortion, gay marriage, civil liberties. You know, crap like that. I find it interesting that the Republicans like small governments cause they don't think the government should be all up in your grill but they sure as hell don't have a problem being all up in a person's personal, private business. That silly GOP. 

Stories

In case you were curious. Yes, Yes I do suck at blogging.

Anyway here I am. I'm on pace for about four posts this year. Awesome.

So I thought I would use this one to write down an Addisyn story or two.

Here's one from a while ago. She was out at Grandma and Grandpa's for the weekend and we were all in the kitchen. Addy was standing next to gramps when she turned to him, looked up with anger on her face and said to him "Stop pullin' my hair Grandpa!" He asked her what? and she said again "stop pullin' my HAIR!" Grandpa said no, I'm not pulling your hair. She kept looking at him with angry eyes and walked away not believing he didn't pull it. Turns out it was just some static that made her hair get caught on a button of his shirt. Might not sound like a great story but the look on her face and the way she told him to stop was pretty funny. Also helps she was about two at the time and the amount of anger she could muster up at the time was amusing to me. I know two year olds can get pretty pissed but before that it was usually over the normal things like wanting to play or not going to sleep and crap like that.

A couple of weeks ago we were sitting around and I told Addisyn is she said "ROGERS!" and do the discount double check belt like in the commercials I'd give her some candy. And she asked if it was a "Candy Kiss"? Since when I still had some leftover candy cane kisses I'd load my pockets with them to bribe kisses from her. Yeah, I force her to love me. What of it? Anyway I told her no, I was all out of candy cane kisses and held out a different piece of candy instead. So she came over, took it and then proceeded to play the part of me in the scenarios when I would bribe her for kisses. She put the kiss down the back of her underwear (she's a nudist, she likes to spend her time in her underwear since she knows she can't go naked like she wants), brushed the hair off my forehead and asked "would you like a candy kiss?" I told her I would. "But first, you have to give me a kiss!" she said. So I did. Then she reached down her pants to get the candy but she couldn't find it since it fell to the bottom of her butt. So I had to dig it out. Yay. She's just a silly girl.

Ok fine my stories might not be all that amazing to read but the memories they bring back to me are great. My little Chubs isn't so little anymore and soon these sort of goofy and silly stories will lose a little bit of magic since to me there's just something special about the toddler years. Yeah I don't know too many kids first hand but I dunno. Just from baby sitting and all that I always enjoyed it better when the kids where under the age of five. Chubs is going to be four (!) in a few months. We're talking 4k soon after and then school. School! Craziness.

Fantastic News! (3 Months Later)

Holy crap how could I forget to blog about this?

My lovely Craigy Counsell is back with the Brewers!!!!!


Oooooonly not as a player. He retired  :(
 He's now a ball boy. ...ok, ok. That was lame. He now works in the Front Office. And who better to welcome him to his new gig then Milwaukee's own Mr Arthur Fonzarelli?

  

I Probably Hate You

If you are a parent, bad news. I probably hate you.

.....

...

..

....................

No seriously. I most likely do. (Ok most likely not) Want a further explanation? No? Well too bad buttheads you're going to get one.

It dawned on me a few months ago that, god damnit, I don't think I like kids as much as I thought. From my time of working days when stay at home parents descend on the stores en mass with their sometimes crying, screaming, snot nosed little punks  I began to think "Holy nuts are these little turds annoying."

I held on to this thought and came up with the "I like kids if I know them" mentality to make me not feel like such a dick. But then I had an epiphany a few weeks ago. The vast majority of my gripes are not with the little buggers but with their parents. They are the annoying ones who, in a sense, push their kids on me and automatically assume I care about them. Newsflash: I don't. I'll come back to this in a minute with more explanation but...I'm glad I finally nailed it down. I can like kids again! Well minus the exception of just plain terrible children. They do exist. We all know it.

So back my assertion of I don't care about other people's kids. In the broad sense of it all I do. I will never actively work to...negatively effect a child. I'm not gonna be mean to them. But if you think I give a crap your kid will only eat the really small apples and all mine are looking a little to big you are sorely mistaken.  If your kid throws their snack all over the floor and you expect me to pick it up then bitch please. That's not my fault. Clean up after you're own kid.

I guess my bottom line and main point is I do not like it when randos think I care about their kids as much as they do. They are yours, they are not mine. They are your responsibility, they are not my responsibility. It's not like I'm a total ass about kids. I love my niece more then anything. She is, quite simply, amazing. I love all the kids in my family. But if I'm out with Addisyn I'm not going to assume that everyone else around us cares for her as much as I do and she should get the complete adoration I give her from strangers.

Though side note: apparently as aunts are concerned my sister and I can be a little bit of hard asses with her. We don't hesitate to discipline her or give her a time out. We don't take her attitude all that much. Am I complete push over in some ways? You betchya. I still remain a sucker of baby kisses. Addy wants a piece of candy before dinner and she lays one on me? Baby is going to get her piece of candy, believe you me.

Anyway, back on topic. ....Well no, actually I think I've made my points. It might make me seem like an ass but I don't think I really am. I think on some level a lot of people share similar feelings and my mind numbing and painfully routine at times job allows for me to think about stuff like this while working.

I just implore some parents to use the wide lens and see the full picture. Your kids are your world and no one is going to say it shouldn't be that way, they just probably don't mean nearly as much to those you randomly encounter so don't push them on people. They just might write a blog about you. 

UPDATE: Do You Believe in Magic?

Great news slushie fans! Beer does in fact slushify in the Slushie Magic!

Bad news: You have got to be careful when it comes to the shaky because it may or may not result in beer being sprayed across a kitchen wall. And I may or may not know this from experience.

The taste of a beer slushie is alright. Not the same as drinking a beer, obviously, but the flavor is still there. The beer hasn't really been tainted by any outside forces so it's honestly just a slushed up beer. Actually I think it's more of the foam that slushes but frozen beer foam is better then regular beer foam.

Also some great news. There is a Slush Puppie machine in the gas station down the road!!! How have I lived here for over a year and never knew it? Mmm. I foresee Slush Puppies in my near future.