Reflection

So here I sit a year later with nothing to show for myself.

It's been almost a year since I graduated college. If you asked me a year ago what I thought I'd be doing at this time sitting in my parent's kitchen waiting for a Lean Cuisine to nuke while listening to my iPod on shuffle contemplating what to do with my days since I'm only employed part time at the craptastic grocery store would not be it. No sir.

But here I sit. And to add to this already painful situation my neighbor has decided to walk around without his shirt on and he's old-ish. Thanks for that.

I know I'm not the only one in this fantastic situation. Five years ago when I started school who would have thought four years later the American economy would be so terrible? And of course I went to school for journalism which if you haven't noticed the newspaper industry, economy or not, is not in good shape.

Aren't I one lucky fool. Had I know prior to my senior year that newspapers were in fact barely able to keep their heads above water I honestly might have thought of picking a different major or a different second major then political freaking science to make myself a little bit  more employable. But I didn't. Thanks for that Whitewater. Also thanks for deciding to modernize your journalism program to be more new media and technology focused the year AFTER I graduate. Well done. Can I get a rebate or perhaps a handful of free classes to make up for that?

Sometime I wonder how valuable my degree is. I graduated in four years with a double major cum laude. On top of that I got a grant to do undergraduate research and then present it at a national conference. What in the hell good has that done for me? Nothing besides looking cool on paper. I don't even know where my degree is. No seriously. I don't. I can't find my diploma. It was on the piano for a while then it was on a shelf and now I don't have a clue where I put it. I hope someone knows where it is. That's got to be the most expensive piece of paper around.

Ok so lets move away from this little sob fest I'm putting together and look at some of the good of the past year. Yeah alright so in June it'll be a year since I've started to write for the local weeklies. Alright that's good. I don't care what others might think I'm considering that a year of experience, damnit! I've learned to do a ton of different things. Features about old people? Check. Sports? Check. Photojournalism? Check. Layout? Half a check. And of course there was the eight months as a city reporter! I've def. padded the resume some.

It's just in the grand scheme of things I feel insignificant. I do.  That no matter how much I'm trying or whatever it doesn't matter. I'm quite honestly sick of the comments of me not working full time or living at home still. Excuse me but if you add it all together-grocery store and writing- I put in a forty hour week. It might not pack a mean punch, it might not be traditional but it is what it is. Could I be looking a bit harder for a job? Probably. But I don't go three days without checking the job boards on madison.com, jsonline or the journalism web site looking for jobs. I am not ready to settle for a job I don't want. I'm doing that five days a week when I go to the store.

I'm still young alright? I'm 23. Why in the hell do I have to start hating my life already? That's what will happen if I get pressured into working at a bank or something. Believe me some time the day will come when it reaches the catalysis of not being able to bear living at home any more with some of the bullshit that goes with it. (yeah mom. If you found the address to this blog, congrats. you wanted to read it so bad) If I have to live off the state then in order to keep my sanity then I will.  I hope to whatever's holy that never happens but if it gets to that point then I don't know what else to do. At this point I refuse to find a job I know I'm going to hate. I don't want to be a cranky SOB that nobody wants to be around because of it. It's no fun to be on the other side of that.

So there's that.