Depressed-erado

Man am I depressed.

No it's got nothing to do with how the Brewers are playing. Though hey you guys. Could you win a game that I'm at? Seriously. I'm 0-3. That is just wrong. You better shape up for the 28th.

And no it's got nothing to do with the rain. Which I think has made the grass grow four inches today.

It's got everything to do with finding a job. I'm trying. Shit. I am trying. And the lack of potential suitors is just depressing. I go to madison.com to search. I go to jsonline.com to search. I go to the Wisconsin Workforce Development site to search. I go to the journalism web site to search. I'm not looking for just journalism jobs. I never have just looked for journalism jobs. I've looked for media relations, PR, corporate communications. I've looked for things related to what I want to do. Slim pickings let me tell you. I'm not even limiting myself in location. But I do enjoy how I get...what's the word I'm looking for not bitched at...I get questioned in a negative way for looking at jobs in other markets that won't be as cheap to live in as Madison.(but psst. newsflash. Madison is not cheap to live in) Is it wise for me to be doing so? Um...hmm. Yes. I'm 23. I think this is the perfect time to move away if need be since it is only me I have to support. I can get my career started, get the experience I need and then move back to the area to settle down if I want. But apparently that's just tom foolery. Silly me.

Anyway. It is just so flipping depressing. And what adds to the depression is I'm start to loose my fire. I'm starting to get fed up, to think hey lifer at the store isn't all that bad. And that scares me. It does. I don't want to stop striving. I need chances. I would feel better about myself if I was applying to a handful of jobs a week not just one. It would make me feel like I was trying. But that's not the case. Some weeks are better then others but lately I've just been stuck in a rut. Blach.

You know what would fix this all? A man. I need to find a man with money. I'll live off him. Where's my baseball playing husband, God? Hmm? See. That's why you're no good for me. You don't give me the one thing I pray for.

Ugh. Back to trolling the job boards.


hey look at that! I already had a label for depression. Hmm. I wonder what for...oh what do you know. When the Brewers lost in the playoffs. That was a pretty depressing time.