And the Eye(brows) Have It!

For some unexplainable reason I check out eyebrows.

It isn't the first thing I look at in a dude but after the normal face, ass,smile and amount of fat (that's shallow sounding...) comes eyebrows. And there isn't a right or wrong when it comes to them. Some guys look good with eyebrows others wouldn't. I can't define exactly what I like. I know it when I see it. I may or may not have a Great Eyebrow List that you may or may not be shown right now. (You totally are)

This list is in no ranking of Greatness, just a general collection.

-Derek Morgan from Criminal Minds

  
-Aaron Rodgers

-Nick Stokes from CSI

-Jake Gyllenhaal

-Tech Man
 Due to unfortunate circumstances (he doesn't know we are to be married) I don't have a picture of Tech Man and his awesome eyebrows so you'll just have to take my word for it. They're the only real life eyebrows that I have a pleasure of seeing.


Yeah yeah yeah. Start your judging of me.

Turn Around, Right Around

If you're every at a store and you're looking for something and can't find it but spot a employee, do yourself a favor and look around. Do a 360, take in your surroundings before asking that employee where the product is.

Why? Because I kid you not 95 percent of the time, it's very scientific and accurate math I've used to come up with this, it is behind you. Or right in front of you. Or right next to you.

You might think I'm kidding but I'm not. All it takes to show a customer where a product is a little point and a "Oh, it's right there." Or a "Right behind you ma'am." Which is always followed by some witty retort of "Oooh, maybe I should open my eyes!"

Yeah. A perk to the new department is I get to learn all sorts of new things about people that I missed when I was on the front. What are they you ask? Well besides the people not finding things right in front of their face the people who think it's a big deal or really great to take something from the box you're stocking from. "Oh I'll just take one of these.ahehehehe!" Ok then! That's what they are there for. Or when they say something like "Oh now I'm messing up your pretty display!" That's ok since if no one did I wouldn't be selling stuff. If you're one of those people just....stop. For the love of whatever is holy, just don't. If you think what you're about to say is really funny or witty take a moment and think 'how long did it take me to come up with this? Three seconds? Ok it's probably already been said a million times before.' Another thing I find interesting, people who like to play chicken with a pallet. They must be the same people who drive their cars in front of a line of carts. Hey man I'll try to stop but if I mow you over it's kind of you're own fault since this bitch is a little heavy, I'm a lot weak and when it gets rolling watch out! I don't have anti lock breaks or anything.

Here's another observation. A fair few of the people I work with now can have pissy streaks and it's a little fun to hear them complain to each other about the others pissyness. And then when one is pissy to me I think they are just a little bit disappointed I don't react. What they all seem to fail to realize is I've dealt with pissy people-customers, employees, managers-day in day out for 10 months when I was running the front. It is going to take a whole lot to get a reaction from me. Yeah I'll be pissed on the inside but on the outside? Oh no. Cool as a cucumber. I think a lot of people in my current locale need some tips on how to deal with people better. They can be quite the unhelpful bunch. And rude. And pissy. But then they can be great. ...Sometimes.

Crock Pot

People who say I'm lucky for only having to work until 2 most days don't know what they're talking about.

"Oh but then you get the whole afternoon to do stuff." Oh you're full of crock.

Yeah fine I have the whole day to do stuff but you're forgetting a few key things. 1. I have to GET UP AT 5! I do not like having to wake up early! 2. I'm pretty certain it's against my DNA to fall asleep before 10 pm so before you try the go to bed earlier argument, I just schooled you. 3. What the shit am I supposed to do when everyone else I know is at work? 4. My time occupier works a retail second shift. (I made that term up since it isn't your traditional swing shift and well, I needed to call it something.) 5. And thanks to my early bed time my sleep schedule gets totally messed up when I kick it with TO. It's totally worth it but it'd be way better if I don't end up having to be up for 20+ hours.

Am I a bit whiney about it? Yes I am. Does a little part of me like it? Sure. But that little part gets drowned out by the louder voice saying "WHY ARE YOU AT WORK BEFORE THE SUN IS ON THE HORIZON?"

I think I'm going to end up like Mufasa. No, not trampled by a stampede. Any child of mine who gets up before the sun isn't mine and has to go to their father. Seriously.

That's my argument about why in reality it is not all that great to get done working at 2. Or 1. Or noon. Now 3, 4,5, and 6? Sign me the fuck up. Well no so much for the 3. I need to start closing again once a week for sanity's sake.

Cryin' Shame

Ok what is with me becoming a crier?

And by crier I mean I get the urge to cry. I don't actually cry. Give me a break! I haven't entered that frightful realm. Yet.

So yeah. I'm afraid that soon my streak of never crying at a movie is in danger with this startling development. I don't like it. Not because I'm ashamed to cry or because I think it's a sign of weakness or anything. I think I look hideous when I cry.

Yup. It is a total vanity thing. I don't want people to see me cry because of the way I look.

Oh sweet peas that is nasty. Sheep's head? To eat? No fucking thank you. I don't care if it is delicious I don't to look at my food and see it look at me back. That's also why I'll never order a fish that's served, you know, whole.

Anyway back to this whole crying thing. I need to know why it is happening and how to make it stop. Yes, I do not like it that much.

You know what I don't like either? Losing the remote for the TV.

Ok. That's it.

'82 to '11

My boys are going to the playoffs.

No big deal. They're just the National League Central Division Champs.

It is to a frigging big deal!

MY BOYS ARE IN THE MOFO PLAYOFFS!!!

Yes alright they were in the playoffs a few years ago but as a wild card. Sure beggers can't be choosers but division champs sounds way better then wild card.

I'm pretty certain I pulled a few muscles from jumping up and down once the Cardinals lost and it was official. Yeah. I hurt a little from that. On the plus side I probably burnt off a few calories of the beer I drank that night!

Poor TO (time occupier...geez get with the lingo already), if he thought my reaction to a playoff clinch was out of control playoff victories is going to make that look tame!

Random: I must have a stupid enemy. They only half cut my break line last week. Which is beneficial to me I guess....Gah! My baby, my Buick! Why you gotta be sucking my money out of my bank account? I guess that is what happens when you drive a car with 100,000 + miles...

4060

I hate broccoli.

Not to eat. No I like it. It's tasty. It's fun looking cause it kind of looks like trees from any early Nintendo games. (Which hello! Artichokes? Totally looks like the tube monsters in Mario!)

Why do I hate it?

It makes my wet wall so freaking dirty! Oh my god. The vegetable by nature will produce filth galore but with humans added, good lord. Everyone breaks the stalks off, which technically people you are NOT supposed to do, and leaves them. Just snap and throw. Hey thanks! Cause I really wanted to clean up all that! Eat it you buttheads it's good for you. It drives me nuts when I get in in the morning and half the level of broccoli is just the stems.

Another reason I hate it. How it comes packaged. In a box with a bunch of holes in it and oh, they pack it in a frigging ice pack the Arctic would be jealous of. So it's freezing to touch cause you have to get you're ice pick out to free it (not really. It's just crushed ice). Then it leaks all over the floor so you have to spend a long time wiping it up so someone doesn't bust a hip. And it seems like every time I roll some broc out on to the floor 12 people ask me questions or want me to move so they can get something and the only think I can think of is how my tiny trees are about to make a swamp out of my department if I don't get the boxes out of there.

I hate things packed in ice. Like, seriously, hate. It drives me nuts. Why?! WHY DO YOU PACK IT IN ICE?! This isn't the stone age or 1911 for that matter. We have a *gasp* cooler!

Fun fact: Iceberg lettuce got its name from being packed in ice when shipped from California. Yeah. You're welcome for that trivia.



Oh and why 4060 as the title? It's the PLU for broccoli. Duh.

Absence makes the....

Oh what a load of shit.

Absence doesn't make the heart grown fonder. ...Alright fine it might but it also can make you sad, depressed and pissed off. Which I know people have gone through all those emotions in my hiatus from blogging.

Why the break? Well my internet broke. Yeah. And I really hate Charter so I really didn't want to call them and get it fixed. So I was stubborn for a month and a half. Hello SmartPhone! Thank you for saving my ass!

Other reasons include how my days have changed quite a bit in I'm now in bed by 10 five days a week since I get up at 4 or 5 in the morning. (I DO NOT LIKE THIS!) Sure I could blog with all the time I have in the afternoons but they're pretty loaded. And by loaded I mean I nap, shower and have a snack. Then I watch TV and then it's time to eat again. Then it's time to watch the Brewers and then it's time to go to bed. I also have someone to preoccupy my time with now (!!!) so I don't have to sit here and blog about my feelings and stuff. ...ok I totally will always blog about my feelings.

So there is that.

What have I been up to you ask? Nothing. I work. I sit around. I kick it with my time occupier. That's about it.

So what's new? Well I've lost some weight and gained some killer biceps and shoulder muscles with the new job. Honestly. If I could make you squeeze my arms right now I would. They are AMAZING.And everyday they keep getting even more amazing. I wish I could say the same about my back though. Oy. That's what's gonna do me in.

I'm trying to decide if I want to do one huge ass post or a bombardment of posts....

who am I kidding? I'm totally going to do a bunch because I like to see the number of posts go up. My apologies in advance.