UPDATE: Do You Believe in Magic?

Great news slushie fans! Beer does in fact slushify in the Slushie Magic!

Bad news: You have got to be careful when it comes to the shaky because it may or may not result in beer being sprayed across a kitchen wall. And I may or may not know this from experience.

The taste of a beer slushie is alright. Not the same as drinking a beer, obviously, but the flavor is still there. The beer hasn't really been tainted by any outside forces so it's honestly just a slushed up beer. Actually I think it's more of the foam that slushes but frozen beer foam is better then regular beer foam.

Also some great news. There is a Slush Puppie machine in the gas station down the road!!! How have I lived here for over a year and never knew it? Mmm. I foresee Slush Puppies in my near future.

Do You Believe in Magic?

I think I got one of the coolest Christmas presents this year.

A Slushie Magic!

What is this intriguing device, you ask? Well! First you have to freeze the magical ice cubes and then you put them and the beverage of choice in the included plastic tumbler and you shaky shaky shake that SOB until *gasp* slush forms!

I was worried, let me tell you, that it was going to be a load of crap. That my pure, childlike excitement was going to be for naught. And I did have a scare that it wasn't going to work the first time I used it. It probably was do to the vodka I was trying to slush up with juice.

Wait what's that? Is it the main purpose of my Slushie Magic to make alcoholic slushies? You bettchya!

After the panic I thought to myself well, booze doesn't freeze the juice does and this new fangled "snowflake technology" might not have what it takes to slushify vodka. So the next round (Yeah, I've got two of 'em) I did just juice and you know what? IT TURNED INTO A SLUSHIE!!!!!!! I really can't explain how happy that made me, that this actually worked. So now I've decided I'll have to slushie up the juice first then add the vodka to get my vodka slushie. Seems fool proof to me. Maybe I'll stick the vodka in the freezer a little before hand so it's chilled and won't melt the slush right away.

Now I'm curious about what other things I can come up with. Will beer slush? It freezes, or comes close to it, so I don't see why it wouldn't. And beer slush can't be terrible since I wouldn't think it would become watered down since I'm not introducing any ice to it. I can now make slushie Dr. Pepper and Southern Comforts!

Do I intend on using it for non-alcoholic things? Mmm. Not really but I'm open to trying it since I LOVE SLUSHIES! For real. I don't know what it is about them but good god are they amazing.

Well done TO on the gift...well done indeed :)

Oh. I forgot to mention it comes with a spoon straw. yeah. As if it couldn't be any better, they throw that in. And a coozy so my hands don't get cold! What smart, smart individuals at Slushie Magic!

Ain't No Sunshine

My seasonal depression just got worse.


Doug Melvin has said he isn't going to bring my dear Craigy Counsell back for next year.

Is...is this what heartbreak feels like? 

Am I ever going to be able to smile again?

Will I be about the watch a Brewers game next season without choking up knowing his ass isn't riding the pine? 

I may need to drink to cope with this.

And the Eye(brows) Have It!

For some unexplainable reason I check out eyebrows.

It isn't the first thing I look at in a dude but after the normal face, ass,smile and amount of fat (that's shallow sounding...) comes eyebrows. And there isn't a right or wrong when it comes to them. Some guys look good with eyebrows others wouldn't. I can't define exactly what I like. I know it when I see it. I may or may not have a Great Eyebrow List that you may or may not be shown right now. (You totally are)

This list is in no ranking of Greatness, just a general collection.

-Derek Morgan from Criminal Minds

  
-Aaron Rodgers

-Nick Stokes from CSI

-Jake Gyllenhaal

-Tech Man
 Due to unfortunate circumstances (he doesn't know we are to be married) I don't have a picture of Tech Man and his awesome eyebrows so you'll just have to take my word for it. They're the only real life eyebrows that I have a pleasure of seeing.


Yeah yeah yeah. Start your judging of me.

Turn Around, Right Around

If you're every at a store and you're looking for something and can't find it but spot a employee, do yourself a favor and look around. Do a 360, take in your surroundings before asking that employee where the product is.

Why? Because I kid you not 95 percent of the time, it's very scientific and accurate math I've used to come up with this, it is behind you. Or right in front of you. Or right next to you.

You might think I'm kidding but I'm not. All it takes to show a customer where a product is a little point and a "Oh, it's right there." Or a "Right behind you ma'am." Which is always followed by some witty retort of "Oooh, maybe I should open my eyes!"

Yeah. A perk to the new department is I get to learn all sorts of new things about people that I missed when I was on the front. What are they you ask? Well besides the people not finding things right in front of their face the people who think it's a big deal or really great to take something from the box you're stocking from. "Oh I'll just take one of these.ahehehehe!" Ok then! That's what they are there for. Or when they say something like "Oh now I'm messing up your pretty display!" That's ok since if no one did I wouldn't be selling stuff. If you're one of those people just....stop. For the love of whatever is holy, just don't. If you think what you're about to say is really funny or witty take a moment and think 'how long did it take me to come up with this? Three seconds? Ok it's probably already been said a million times before.' Another thing I find interesting, people who like to play chicken with a pallet. They must be the same people who drive their cars in front of a line of carts. Hey man I'll try to stop but if I mow you over it's kind of you're own fault since this bitch is a little heavy, I'm a lot weak and when it gets rolling watch out! I don't have anti lock breaks or anything.

Here's another observation. A fair few of the people I work with now can have pissy streaks and it's a little fun to hear them complain to each other about the others pissyness. And then when one is pissy to me I think they are just a little bit disappointed I don't react. What they all seem to fail to realize is I've dealt with pissy people-customers, employees, managers-day in day out for 10 months when I was running the front. It is going to take a whole lot to get a reaction from me. Yeah I'll be pissed on the inside but on the outside? Oh no. Cool as a cucumber. I think a lot of people in my current locale need some tips on how to deal with people better. They can be quite the unhelpful bunch. And rude. And pissy. But then they can be great. ...Sometimes.

Crock Pot

People who say I'm lucky for only having to work until 2 most days don't know what they're talking about.

"Oh but then you get the whole afternoon to do stuff." Oh you're full of crock.

Yeah fine I have the whole day to do stuff but you're forgetting a few key things. 1. I have to GET UP AT 5! I do not like having to wake up early! 2. I'm pretty certain it's against my DNA to fall asleep before 10 pm so before you try the go to bed earlier argument, I just schooled you. 3. What the shit am I supposed to do when everyone else I know is at work? 4. My time occupier works a retail second shift. (I made that term up since it isn't your traditional swing shift and well, I needed to call it something.) 5. And thanks to my early bed time my sleep schedule gets totally messed up when I kick it with TO. It's totally worth it but it'd be way better if I don't end up having to be up for 20+ hours.

Am I a bit whiney about it? Yes I am. Does a little part of me like it? Sure. But that little part gets drowned out by the louder voice saying "WHY ARE YOU AT WORK BEFORE THE SUN IS ON THE HORIZON?"

I think I'm going to end up like Mufasa. No, not trampled by a stampede. Any child of mine who gets up before the sun isn't mine and has to go to their father. Seriously.

That's my argument about why in reality it is not all that great to get done working at 2. Or 1. Or noon. Now 3, 4,5, and 6? Sign me the fuck up. Well no so much for the 3. I need to start closing again once a week for sanity's sake.

Cryin' Shame

Ok what is with me becoming a crier?

And by crier I mean I get the urge to cry. I don't actually cry. Give me a break! I haven't entered that frightful realm. Yet.

So yeah. I'm afraid that soon my streak of never crying at a movie is in danger with this startling development. I don't like it. Not because I'm ashamed to cry or because I think it's a sign of weakness or anything. I think I look hideous when I cry.

Yup. It is a total vanity thing. I don't want people to see me cry because of the way I look.

Oh sweet peas that is nasty. Sheep's head? To eat? No fucking thank you. I don't care if it is delicious I don't to look at my food and see it look at me back. That's also why I'll never order a fish that's served, you know, whole.

Anyway back to this whole crying thing. I need to know why it is happening and how to make it stop. Yes, I do not like it that much.

You know what I don't like either? Losing the remote for the TV.

Ok. That's it.