What ever happened to predictibility? The milkman, the paperboy, evening TV.

I'm watching Full House right now and let me just say. One of the Olsen twins is having an off day. Boy are her acting skillz not up to par. Must be Ashley Olsen. All people named Ashley have problems. HAHA I KID!

Oh Mi Gosh! Only two more weeks of classes! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! But then I have to start working. Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Talk about weird weather today. It was sunny with just a few clouds when I rolled back into Whitewater this AM and then I got to my room, looked out the window and it was hailing! Hailing while semi-sunny! Only in Wisconsin.

I just love the resolution music on Full House. All is well when that starts to play. I love that little prissy boy that's friends with Michelle. Derek. Ha, he makes me laugh. Awwww RESOLUTION MUSIC! Damn those Tanners....Damn them.

And how sad. I'm typing about Full House.

I need to get out of the state this summer. Haven't been about of Wisconsin in, like, five years. Ok. Great America senior year but that doesn't count. That wasn't fun. I spent most my time doing nothing or feeling like I was gonna toss my cookies.

Right-o then. Have a good Monday Monday (doo doo! dooo dooo doo dooo!)

Holy Veto Batman!

The Senate has passed the war funding bill with a timetable for pullout!
Annnnnnd W has vowed to Veto it. I could see him running out into the driveway of the White House to stop the Executive Clerk from actually getting in the building waving his arms and screeching "Send it back! Send it back! Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!" And you have to picture the big ears as well. Adds to the image.

Anyways...

I've been very political lately. I'm sorry. I had to let my pent up rage out at some point in time. I don't have any thing fun to type about really.

It's a crappy, rainy day out. So sad. But I just brewed me a pot of coffee so things are cheering up a bit. Sumatra blend. I'm a coffee snob. Most everyone else is drinking Folgers while I refuse to and will only drink Starbucks. Though if I could find some good, fair trade I would buy that. I like to think that the poor farmers in Latin America are getting about five more cents on a...bushel? I don't even know what coffee beans go by.

I get a lot of looks with my coffee habit. By other coffee drinkers that is. I tell them how many scoops I put in per cup and their jaws hit the floor. Yup I like it strong. They think I'm nuts. Obviously they've never met my mother, then they'd understand. I also drink it black. No sugar, no milk no nothing. It is the best way to go fo sho!

Gave my speech today on the Mandatory minimums. Got the response I wanted from the crowd when I said that rape will get you less jail time than coke. Though overall the speech was a wee bit short. Eh well.

Well. Only two more classes for the week. Home for the weekend. Then school is really starting to wind down. It's crazzzzzy. And good. It's crazy good.

Keep cool my babies!

I'm gonna slap someone

I'm giving a speech tomorrow on Mandatory Minimum drug laws. Sexy stuff right? Well. Doing the research for it has made me so pissed off. Why? I'll tell you why. It's because we live in a country that sends a person to jail for smoking crack longer than a person who rapes, who commits child molestation, who robs a bank, who commits manslaughter.

Let me just give this a big "What the FUCK?" I don't whip out the F-word often. Not in print. But this, this warrants it. This give me the right to say what the fuckity fuck fuck FUCK is that all about?

"Oh you got caught doing crack so here, go to jail for ten years but you, you got caught brutally raping a woman, go to jail for six. It's ok. We just don't want those crack heads with their crack babies out on the streets anymore. But you, with your violation of another person's body who left that person traumatized for life, you go on out there to society! We trust you tiger!"

I mean COME ON! Non-violent drug offenders getting locked up for longer than rapists?

This is what drives me nuts about this country. We got things backwards. People get mad about things like drugs, gay marriage and abortion yet we don't do a thing about this. Why? WHY?

I'd rather have a gay couple next door snorting blow than a convicted rapists living two doors down who's out after only serving three years in the State Pen.

I don't advocate drug use. I don't do the drugs. I just don't think these drug laws make sense.

I'm a pro-choice, pro gay marriage lilly belly liberal who think the gun toting redneck sons of bitches need to take their views and shove them up their asses.

I don't like paying taxes like everyone else but if my money goes to help others then fine. I will hand Uncle Sam my money because it is the least I can do. It's the price of Freedom. But I don't like it when my money is going to things like locking up druggies vs molesters. I don't like my money being spent on prisons instead of education. You think education is expensive, try ignorance. (I got that from the West Wing...)

We fight wars to fix things overseas yet we can't fix things at home. I'm for helping others out. I am. But we cannot forget that America isn't all lollipops and candy canes. We got problems like anyone else. But who wants to hear about inner city violence? It isn't nearly as sexy as hearing about weapons of mass destruction. What's that? Mass genocide in Sudan? Nah. I think we'd be better off going to knock Saddam out then going to save thousands of lives. But hey. What can I say? That's just how we roll.

Let's not research Stem Cells. No. Let's not. Let's not save lives. No thanks. Cuz if we keep people alive 'til their 90 then they are just gonna suck our society for money thanks to Social Security! Oh wait! Social Security is in the toilet. My mistake. Let's not do things to help people. Nah. Then lets get rid of Welfare as well while we're at it. Screw 'em. Get rid of WIC. Don't see why baby's need good nutrition. Food Stamps? Toss them! Half the people waste the money away on Cheetos and Pop-Tarts as it is! Let's just not worry about anyone else. After all, what are you confusing this country with? The leader of the free world? A country whose Constitution is envied by others? A country that protects things like speech, religion, and press? Due process? Do away with it! Get real!

I think I need to stop writing now.

Oh the Humanity!

You know that "guy" I wrote about, down there, with the Einstein hair and buttpack? Well turns about he's a she. Saw him, nix that, her walking again today and well. This time I could tell it was a woman. Whoops. Still had the crazy hair and the buttpack. Though I guess in light of the post before, it could be a va-jay-jay pack instead of a penispack.

I think the word we're looking for is Anyways...

I didn't post anything yesterday. I don't work on the Sabbath. HAHA. oh. I almost was able to type that without laughing.

I got nothing. No exciting observations. No nothing. I have the start of "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe stuck in my head and that's about it.

What's that? Oh you want to hear it! Well alright!

"Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore-- "

I find the best way to read it is to read it slowly, with a certain sort of emphasis on the end of the words like midnight, dreary, pondered, weak and weary. Basically any word a person wouldn't use in normal conversation.

"emphasis" made me think of the movie A View from the Top. (Not that great of a movie really) when the characters played by Mike Meyers and I think its Christina Applegate say something to the affect of:

Christina: Ass-is the window
Mike: It's assess the window. You put the wrong Em-fastus on the wrong Syl-abble.

Stop Russian to Conclusions!

So I got this new shirt. Do you Like? I like. It makes me giggle. "In Soviet Russia Shirt Wears You!"

I got it from Glarkware.com Which is one of my links by the way. Had to go through customs to get here. Damn Canadians. My other shirt from there says "Good Grammar Costs Nothing!"

When I got it yesterday I realized it's the second shirt I have that mentions Russia in some way. The other one says "Stop Russian to Conclusions" It's a little interesting that I have two shirts that reference the Mother Land. Ex-Commie Bastards. Perhaps I have a secret desire to go to Russia. I watched a show on the Travel Channel once about St. Petersburg and it looked beautiful.

"American components, Russian components ALL MADE IN TAIWAN!"

right-o then. Continue with your American day!

"I'm an AmeriCAN not an AmeriCAN'T!"

(I've drank four cups of very strong coffee recently. Can you tell?)

Springtime for Hitler and Germany!

Today is such a beautiful B-E-A-U-tiful day!

The sun is shining it's blessed rays upon my face. The grass is green and calling me to come lay in it. The birds are chirping, beckoning me outside. The cool breeze feels like a kiss upon my skin.

Like I'll go out. Get real! What the hell would I do once I got there? I can't take my computer outside, I'd look silly carrying a desktop down four flights of stairs and then sprawling out on the ground. I'd need to find a heckuva long extension chord.

I could read. HA! Leisure reading in college? Are...are you serious? I would LOVE to read for fun. I really, really would. I love reading. It's fantastic. Reading makes you a better writer and makes you sound smart. I like both of those things. I have a stack of books to read. One about The Greatest Story Ever Sold. Which I am about 100 pages into. I'll finish that up in a hurry once school is done. Another about Watergate. Another about First Families. And Les Miserables. I read that one in high school but I want to read it again.

I can't wait to read. Sitting outside or in the garage or on the boat with a book. Best thing.

Springtime is so wonderful. Makes doing homework a bitch though. I have to chain myself to the library tomorrow.

Springtime for Hitler and Germany! Deutchland is happy and gay! We're marching to a faster pace, Look out here comes the Master Race! Springtime for Hitler and Germany, Rhineland's a fine land once more!

I have to listen to the Producer's soundtrack now. Damn you springtime! You make me think of that musical!

Is your real name Jose?

My speech professor is Hispanic (which I find odd that I am learning the art of public speaking from someone who's native language is Spanish but that's another story) and today she said "No way Jose" a few times and I couldn't help but laugh. To myself, naturally. I just found it to be hilarious.

It also reminded me of this.
"If your real name Jose?"
"No, why?"
"Because it goes better with no way"
that also makes me laugh.

Ashbag...do you know what that's froooooooom? Do ya, do ya, do ya?!

Another thing I found funny was while I was walking back to my delectable dormitory room, I saw a man. He was wearing a buttpack and eating an apple. Doesn't sound all that funny but it was. Because he also had that frazzled Einstein hair going on. And his buttpack was not on his butt but front and center. So I had to think to myself that in an instance such as that, could one get away with calling it a penispack? No? Alright...

Here's another thing. I just saw a kid walking down the hall holding a roll of TP. Now, I wouldn't find this strange (well alright I would) but this isn't the first time he's done it. I noticed it a few times. Why? My question is why? Does he have a sensitive toosh? He likes three ply quilted over the sandpaper they provide?


One more thing. This makes me sad. http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2007/virginiatech.shootings/victims/index.html

It was sad enough before with just the numbers. Now the faces make it worse.

Ok I lied. Another thing. A more cheery thing! For anyone who hasn't seen The Landlord video, watch it!
http://www.yikers.com/video_will_ferrell_short_skit_-_the_landlord.html

That'll put a smile on your face!

Observations from a Policy Class...

My Policy Analysis class was extra boring last night. So I made all sorts of observations and what not. It really is nothing new, my mind wandering during class. Happens all the time. Last night I was just so bored I wrote them down.

• I got a kick out of hitting the table with my knee to see ripples in my drink all while thinking via Jurassic Park "The dinosaurs are COMING!" And in my head I was making the loud footstep sounds. Sad sad sad.
• There is a man wearing a Beret. He cannot possibly think he looks good. He looks more like that dude from the Myth Busters.
• (This one is from a different class) The kid who sits in front of me seems to only shower once a week. His hair is so greasy I can see his scalp like he's bald. Why would he do this?
• I don't like mechanical pencils that look like real pencils. (My prof was pointing with one on the projector)
• The Prof and Mr Rogers must've bought their sweaters from the same place.
• The bottom of my Pepsi bottle has a metallic sheen to it. I'm not quite sure if I should find this disturbing.
• (While watching a video) I can't tell if that man's eyes are open really really wide or if its just from his coke bottle glasses.
• (same video) That guy looks like Kip from Napoleon Dynamite except he's talking about chaos in fluids not grating a huge chunk of cheese.
• The man with the beret is also wearing strange shoes. I cannot tell if they are made out of wicker or some sort of reptile skin.

Those were just a few of the many, many thoughts that went through my mind. If I wasn't busy daydreaming I was making those sort of observations. I find that during boring classes that I really don't do anything in, I work out things in my head for my movies. Wasted time all around!

It's called...

Thieves get rich, saints get shot, God don't answer prayers a lot.

Though really it goes:

It's called flowers wilt.
It's called apples rot.
It's called thieves get rich and saints get shot.
It's called God don't answer prayers a lot.
Alright, now you know. -- Stephen Sondheim in MERRILY WE ROLL ALONG

I've never seen Merrily We Roll Along. I like "thieves get rich, saints get shot God don't answer prayers a lot." better.

Can't take credit for it, oh no. It's all Aaron Sorkin....sorta since he took it from some were else.

Ain't it the truth?

oh. and talking about Aaron Sorkin reminded me of this as well:

"The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight. They're our students and our teachers and our parents and our friends. The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels, but every time we think we have measured our capacity to meet a challenge, we look up and we're reminded that that capacity may well be limitless. This is a time for American heroes. We will do what is hard. We will achieve what is great. This is a time for American heroes and we reach for the stars."

It works. Today at least.

Rolling fields of....houses

Urban sprawl makes me sad. I don't like it. Nope, not one bit.

I don't like remembering how a stretch of road ten years ago was corn fields and lush, green pastures but now that same stretch of road is cluttered with houses with white picket fences and windows with shutters.

It's not cool.

Where are all these people coming from? What's gonna happen when all the baby boomers start to die off? (how poetic of me) Will we have too many houses then? I dunno. I'm not an urban planner. Though I do remember learning about urban planning in my Global Perspectives class freshman year. Seems like Portland, OR has it right. Smaller lots for houses, parks near by instead, revitalizing downtown, mass transit. Sounds good to me. But I don't know urban planning. I just know I don't like it when the drive into Oregon is getting shorter because of the explosion of houses thanks to the Bergamont.

But enough about that.

I reeeeeallly wish I could spend the summer sitting outside with a notebook on my lap, a pen in one had and a beer in the other. School gets in the way of my ideas as it is. And work gets in the way during the summer. I just want to pull a Henry David Thoreau. Have my own Walden Pond. But alas, like most things in life, money ruins everything. Stupid tuition. Stupid rent. I could really go for winning the Mega Bucks.

I've decided that if I write a book about the grocery store, it will be called Grocernomics. And it'll have a crafty subtitle as well. But who's gonna read a book about the stupidity of people in a grocery store? Probably no one. Eh well. I write things now that'll never be anything so why not add to the stack and waste more paper in the process?

Could you pass me that ice pick?

I need it to gouge my eyes out. I had a dream last night. A horrible one. So I guess that classifies it as a nightmare. I won't give the details because it is too terrible. But here are the highlights. W, a bikini, and a body piercing. I'm sure if anyone could have seen my face when I awoke they would have seen the sheer look of terror on my face.

Moving on...

So I got to thinking. With Easter's church sermon and a lecture in my Ethnic Politics class, I got to thinking about the Jews.

First from church. The pastor was rambling about how it was amazing how Jesus rose from the dead instead of ya know, staying dead. How it was a miracle and wonderful and all that shizz. So my thoughts went to if Jesus didn't rise up, does that make everyone Jewish? Well, not everyone but the Christians. Cuz without Jesus rising up then what's the point of Christianity? That's like our whole thing. Yaaay! Our Savior is here!

Second from my lecture. The whole Anit-Semitism comes from the fact that Christians don't like Jewish people because they are Jesus Killers. My question is, once again, if Jesus had not been crucified then what? There would be no point to Christianity! We get all excited about God's son dying to save our sins yet some don't like the Jews for killing Jesus? I mean...really! What the hell is that all about?! Sure anti-semitism changed over time but the fundamental principle was the whole Jesus killer thing.

And that, ladies and gents, is why I have a hard time believing. It isn't the world being created in seven days or Noah living to be ridiculously old. It is that I don't understand the thought process. I don't get why God will come back and kill us all on Judgement Day. Isn't he supposed to love us? Why sacrifice your son to save us if you're just gonna come and wipe us out anyways? It just baffles my mind! I cannot wrap my head around the thinking. I can't suspend reality for my whole life just to have faith. It's not gonna happen.

So Sweet...

Easter Candy is the best.

Delicious chocolate, sweet tarts, eggs in the form of malted milk balls. Topped all with a beautiful pastel color palette. I love York Peppermint patties. But I love them more when they are wrapped in an nice shade of Spring-y pink.

It's a weird holiday though. Jesus aside, why does a bunny bring eggs? It'd be like if it was the Easter Chicken who brought baby bunnys. Doesn't make all that much sense. Not like the Easter Bunny did in the first place.

I'm slightly disappointed in the Easter Bunny this year. She did not give us any sweetart eggs or malted milk ball Robin Eggs. What's that all about? But I'm not going to complain. No no. I am satisfied with the contents of my basket. What's not to like? Jam? Gooood. Custard? Goood. Meat? Goooooooood. Sorry. I had a Friends moment.

Oy Vey. I got things to see, people to do so I best get back to work. A full week of fun filled school. Policy Analysis paper to write, speech to finalize, blow to be snorted, classes to schedule ah, where does the time go?

My goat knows the bowling score...

Random. The title.

I know this. It's just stuck in my head. Sing it to the tune of Michael Row the boat Ashore.

Is it weird that I like to think of questions that really have no point of getting an answer. They aren't deep philosophical questions like "What's the meaning of life" or crap like that. Oh no. I like to ask questions like "What do fruititarians do for furniture?"

Alright. So it isn't so much a like as a...a...a I can't come up with a good word. More of an -ism. A Katie-ism. Like Bush-ism's except I wouldn't say that the french need a word for entrepreneur.

"Better than fascism, alcoholism, cannibalism, racism or socialism...it's Katie-ism!"

And I would so rock the hyphen like its no one's business. The hyphen gives it a sense of separatism (haha! I'm so funny!) and importance.

Mmmhm. Don't act like you're not down with the -ism!

Allow me to expand...

So my links. You might be asking yourself "Wot's this all about Governor?" I shall explain my darlings...I shall enlighten you!

Glarkware: A site of fantastic shirts. I love most of them . There are a few that I really really REALLY want!

Huffington Post...well one Blogger: Ah yes! Well, just look. No? Don't want to? FINE! I'll tell yah. But pleasssssse don't hurt me and/or make fun of me. It's a link to the hilarious (most of the time) blog written by who else? Steven Weber. I recommend it for a giggle. and like I said. DON'T LAUGH AT ME!

Mont Blanc: Listen up chicks and dicks, these pens are freaking awesome. They look it anyways. The one I have linked is my dream pen. I want it. I just don't have the hundreds of dollars to drop on it. If you love me, buy it for me!

Overheard In New York: Just some funny ass stuff said on the streets of NYC. There are also links to other Overheard places. Some of them will make you laugh at loud, and some of them will make you wonder how a person can be such a moron. It's great fun.

The Other Katie: Katie Miller's site. Check it out. It's pretty P.I.M.P. Yes. I still use pimp. I'm not up on my hip hop lingo. I guess I'm just old skool. (and yeah. I totally just did that. I spelt school with a k)

When Blogs Have Sex: The ingenious idea of morphing my blog with Katie Miller's blog. We hope it will be funny. We still have to start the morphing process.

So there are my links. Be cool, check them out. And remember, I rule you fools.

Hold me!

I was flipping through the channels this afternoon, having just finished off a few episodes of Wings for about the sixth time and what do my eyes see upon the screen? Why Brain Hackett himself. (Oh Alrgiht! Steven Weber if you get technical!) So I stopped, naturally. Then my eyes fluttred down to where it tells me what show I was watching. My eyes grew wide at the title. The Shining. Oh HELL NO! No way in the world was I going to watch that. Nuh, no way mister not in a million years.

But I did. I got sucked in. Damn you Steven Weber! Damn your charm that will forever suck me in because I will say to myself Oh hey! Brian! Yay! You're just so funny! Damn you! So I watched from the middle of the second part through to the end. (the total was three parts so I guess I could have just said I watched half)

That movie scared the shit out of me. Well. I may be exaggerating. But it scared me. I covered my face during the last twenty minutes because I was freaked. I talked out loud to myself because I was scared. I held a blankie up to my face. But I did not turn that channel. Oh no. I remained watching. Not so much because it was Brian Hackett. Oh no. That charm wore off after about twenty minutes when I realized he was one crazy ass mofo. I realized that this was the movie in which Jack Nicholson chops threw a door and says "Heeeeere's Jonnny!" and that my beloved Brain was that man. When the word Redrum was on the wall I knew I was in trouble. Oh yes ma'am. I knew this movie would be a doozy and it was.

I started to watch it downstairs on the Giant Ass TV but moved to my bedroom to finish packing and thank the holy wheat bread I did. It is much easier to shield ones face on a 14 inch screen as opposed to a 50. And boy did it need to be shielded. I'm such a wimp when it comes to scary movies. I watch most of them threw my fingers while carrying out a conversation with myself. I'm not proud of it, it's just how it goes.

I have the urge to watch the whole thing now. Since I know how it ends, it'll be better. Or not. I do not know.

All I do know is I'll never be able to look at a croquet mallet the same way. Yikes.

10,11,12,14,...

So since I'm weird I have to do this.

This is my 13th blog. So I must follow is by another. So Yay!