Stick it

Oh the first real snow fall of the season! How exciting! We've got a pretty lil blanket of snow which makes me feel all festive for the holiday season. And yikes. 25 days until Christmas?! Shit son! I haven't bought a single gift!

I have a love hate relationship with cold weather. Love the snow to a point, hate the slush it makes on the sidewalk. Love that we have distinctive seasons, hate the extremes. Love when it's cool and the wind is blowing at your back, hate when it's freezing and the wind is blowing in your face.

It is kind of torturous to think while walking to class "mm it isn't too bad out with the wind at my back. But oh the walk home, that's gonna blow cuz the winds gonna be in my face." I HATE that! And I hate that some places are like a wind tunnel because of the buildings or whatever. Just going along, it's not bad then wham! You enter a certain spot and the wind picks up by 10 mph.

I always freeze my giblets while walking home and I don't like it. Wait. That didn't sound right. That's a euphemism for a dude's naughty bits. I meant, you know, as in a turkey. The neck. I freeze my neck/chin fat. Not anything...dirty.

Speaking of turkey, sigh. One of these years...ONE OF THESE YEARS! I am gonna blow a blood vessel over Thanksgiving Dinner. Why? Because why oh why can't my family have a normal dinner? WHY I ASK?!

My demands are simple, they really are. Normal stuff! Normal food you see on a Butterball commercial. No deep fried turkey. No pork loin. That was years ago but I'm still bitter over it. No weird potatoes or lack of corn.

This year has to be one of the better Thanksgiving in recent memory. We had a normal turkey and a fried one. Regular mashed potatoes, corn (which was absent last year and that's just wrong), green bean casserole which is kinda gross, cranberry sauce which also is kinda gross but kinda amazing, rolls, stuffing. Pretty normal. Except there was no gravy. WTF? How can there not be gravy? Everything is dry then. What do you put on the potatoes? Nothing. Tisk tisk tisk.

The Thanksgiving feast I envision is a turkey cooked in the oven until the thermometer pops out of its ass then is served on a (fake) silver platter not chopped up with green garnish and those little paper frilly things on the drumsticks. Mashed potatoes, NORMAL mashed potatoes. Not boiled in chicken broth or infused with some other shit. Gravy in a gravy boat. Stuffing, corn, rolls, wine and well, a seat at the adult table. A coveted spot with the big kids. At least the kid's table is now in the same room as the adults. When Thanksgiving was at the g-units, they sat in the fancy dinning room (which mark my words I will eat a feast in! Even if it involves breaking into their house while they are away and eating alone!) while the kids ate in the kitchen. When Thanksgiving was at MJ's the adults ate upstairs while the kid's table was in the backroom in the basement. It was like we were the help and this was only two, three years ago. Tori got a spot at the adult table and I'm older then her! How rude! Well not really. But I guess this year's kid's table was a strange hybrid. The oldest cousin, the youngest cousin (me), two in between and the offspring of the oldest. Weird hybrid like I said.

Oh, I also want candles burning on my Thanksgiving table. Maybe I'll do a Thanksgiving in July sometime and I'll do it all my way! And if someone complains I'll shove a turkey baster someplace where the sun don't shine.

Anyway.

18 Days until the end of the semester, 25 days until Christmas, 50 days until Bush is out of office and about 10 weeks until I'm an auntie! Hehe. Had to throw that one in there. But I gotta say, at the rate they are going that kid is not gonna have a name until next Christmas. I will call it...Hmm I don't know what. I'll have to think of some nickname. No peanut, pumpkin, sugar, honey or sweetie. Everyone uses those. Ohh perhaps puddin'! Oh I don't know.

Ok I need to be productive.

Tootles.