Time is Running Out

Reality Check:

Nine weeks until graduation.

....


......


WHAT?!

Mini panic attack will start in five, four, three, two, ...


Holy crap what am I supposed to do? Get a job yes but have you looked at what's out there lately? Nothing much let me tell ya. And it doesn't help any that I'm not quite sure what I want to go into for reals. I need to make some decisions, like, yesterday.

I just do not want to think about it. I really don't. I hate the pressure. I hate people asking what I'm going to do. I have it under control for the most part. I know what needs to be done and how to do it, I just don't need people breathing down my freakin' back about it.

I also know that if I have to move back home for an expended period of time I will lose my mind. Guarantee it. Love my parents, really I do, but I'd need to be committed if I had to move home for more then, like, three months. How the bag has not lost her mind is beyond me.

Why would it drive me nuts? Because I've grown accustom to my routine. I like the way things are. I can't do what I want if I have to live at home. I need my space, I need to be left alone. I don't need to have to explain myself all the time. It drives me nuts. "Who are you texting? Who are you emailing? Who was on the phone? What did you have for lunch today?" AHH! Just thinking about it irks me.

I'm a spacer. I need my space. I need my downtime where it is just me. I have no problem with having a roommate probably because I don't have to answer to her like I have to answer to my parents. I need my time to sit and do whatever I want be it reading, surfing the net, writing, watching TV or watching paint dry, without having to deal with anyone else. I don't get that when I'm at home. The drive to and from work in the summer was always enjoyable because I was completely alone.

It might make me seem like a weird loner or a bitch. It isn't like I need eight hours of being alone it's more like two. And it doesn't have to be everyday but when I go home for the weekend I'm ready to go by Sunday.

Yeah. Weird. Whatever. It's how I am and I don't think it is ever going to change.

Anyway. Goal is before I leave for Phoenix I should have sent out a couple of resumes. If I haven't then I will punish myself somehow. I don't know how yet. I'll think of something!