Attention all eligible bachelors and anyone who would like to set me up with a good looking man (he doesn't have to be gorgeous) between the ages of 21 and 34 who is preferably 6 feet or taller I have finally come up with a list of criteria I need in a man outside of the usual relationshippy things.
I don't require much from a man. Well, ok so I might appear like I do but the stuff I'm about to list are not necessarily things he has to do but things he is willing to do. Some grumbling at an item is acceptable if at the end of the day I can get him to do said thing.
Item #1: He has to take my car for an oil change or go with me. I'll pay for it gladly. I just hate doing it.
Item #2: In cold months he needs to be willing to lay on my side of the bed for 15 minutes prior to lights out so it is nice and warm. Could I just snuggle him for warmth? Yes I most certainly could. I'm not ruling out the snuggle. I would just like sheets above teeth chattering degree.
Item #3: He has to be able to watch a baseball game. This one could very well be a deal breaker. If he can't watch a game on TV then for 162 day in a 180 day span it could be difficult to get along.
Item #4: He needs to posses better math skills or at least better patience when it comes to balancing a checkbook so when I get uber pissed because I haven't done it in four months he can figure it out. Also doing taxes and buying big ticket items such as cars falls under his purview.
Item #5: He's the exterminator of creepy bugs and spiders. I'm not doing that since it takes a solid minute to hype myself up to preform the act.
Item #6: He's got to be able to sing shamelessly along with the radio in the car. Or at the very least tolerate my terrible singing as I go note for note with Celine Dion.
Item #7: He can't be jealous of my Craig Counsell crush. I will openly make suggestive comments and he has to accept that. In return I will allow the same for one woman of his choice. The only condition is said female can't be someone he knows, she must be in the athlete/actress/singer/famous for being rich category.
Item #8: A nice back massage once in a while would be great. He provides me with a massage, I'll provide him with the happy ending. It's got to be cheaper then paying $60 an hour to have someone else rub you down.
Item #9: He needs to enjoy doing random things like dancing for no good reason or sliding on the ice. Spontaneous immaturity can be great fun.
Item #10: He needs some skills with tools and/or in building things. Those shelves aren't going to assemble themselves! Or to put it more accurately fix what I have attempted to build.
Item #11: It is his job to drive in adverse weather conditions. Unless say he's from Florida and hasn't really drove in the snow then I'll take the wheel.
There. I think that rounds out my list for now. A nice uneven 11.
Now go tell your cute TDH male friends and send any candidates my way.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
UPDATE: Zoomin' who?
OH! Oh hey! So my Who's Zooming Who game was cut a little short before the big piece of evidence I was so hungry for came through. The two in question are not zooming each other. I (sort of) knew it! I'm a little sad my game has come to an end but I'm happy to have closure on the matter.
Friday, March 4, 2011
The Unintentional Hiatus
Holy frick has it been a while since I've last blogged.
Aye, what's the excuse this time, eh?
Well I haven't got one except for pure laziness and, well, an uneventful life.
Since I'm feeling guilty as to my lack of blogging I need to come up with something to write about. Is there anything better to write about then my favorite person in the world Addisyn? No. So here we goooooooooo!
Oh my goodness Little Miss Thang is becoming more of a little girl then a baby every time I see her. Ok ok so I guess she hasn't technically been a baby for over a year now, she's a toddler. She's still a friggin' baby to me though! I know its cliche but damnit! I can remember like it was yesterday when all she was was a snuggle blob, to put it poetically.
Where to start? She's amazing at knowing what sounds animals make. Few stump her and she picks up on new ones like that! (yes, I did just snap) My favorite that she does has to be a tie between what does a horse say? Neeeeeeeeeigh! and what does a cat say? Eeeeeeow! There's no Me to her meow. Yet.
Body parts and articles of clothing are a thing of the past. She's had that down for a few month now. It's still a little bit of a shocker when you say hey you! Go get your shoes! And she fishes out the pair she wants to wear. Or better yet when she knows what shoes are mine. I was at the 'rents the other day when she was up and we had gone out earlier in the day to play with the bubbles and I had asked her if she'd put my shoes on for me. She didn't then but later when my ma and pa were getting her ready to take her back to her pops she came running over to me with my shoes, held them out and said, "Here Kaykey!" Aww. It doesn't sound like much in print put in person that shit just melts my heart.
That same day she wanted to help with something in the kitchen cause I guess she likes cooking so I made some cookies with her. Every time I turned on the beaters she'd look at me and yell," Stop peeeease! Stop peeease! Stop peeease!" For some reason she didn't like that part. She did like sticking her wooden spoon in everything and licking it. If anyone ate the current batch of cookies at my parents' house, congratulations you ate some Addy spit. Sorry.
She's doing a good job with those find the object in the picture books. You know where they have a cow, horse, pig, dog in a box and also in the picture. She does very well with them. She's also doing ok with her colors. She counts a little and knows some of the alphabet. If you're counting something out, like cups of flour, and she's by you sometimes she picks up where you left off . It's cute.
She's no longer restricted to one word communication, she's started on simple sentences. A lot of "I help!" or "I'm comin'!" Words with please thrown in.
She's also getting a little bit of an attitude. But she's two so that's normal. There's a whole lot of MINE! going around or you'll be sitting in a chair and she crawls up in your lap and for a second you think "Ah! She wants to snuggle!" and you get all excited only to realize what she's really doing is attempting to throw you off the chair because it's "Addy's chair!" She's starting to realize more when she's done something naughty because she's takes her talkin' to like a champ and generally stops what ever it was. Temporarily at the very least.
Perhaps the best thing she's learned as of late is to help chant Hey! Hey! Ho! Ho! Scott Walker's got to go!
If someone says hey, hey! She'll go ho, ho! And sometimes if you ask her who has to go she'll give you a Scott Walker only it sounds more like Sot Walkeh! She gets the got to go part at times too. She's a smart girl learning to dislike that terrible human.
I'm sorry but the man has won douche of the year and it's only March. That takes talent. He's not right. Nope. Not right. It's all in the approach Mr. Governor and your approach is terrible. Terrible which starts with t that rhymes with gee as in Gee, we're in trouble if your budget repair bill and budget goes through as is because apparently you think public education isn't something to take seriously you fuck.
Whoa. Yeeeeah. Yeah sorry about that.
Ok. I think that's enough for now. And no. I didn't proof this.
Aye, what's the excuse this time, eh?
Well I haven't got one except for pure laziness and, well, an uneventful life.
Since I'm feeling guilty as to my lack of blogging I need to come up with something to write about. Is there anything better to write about then my favorite person in the world Addisyn? No. So here we goooooooooo!
Oh my goodness Little Miss Thang is becoming more of a little girl then a baby every time I see her. Ok ok so I guess she hasn't technically been a baby for over a year now, she's a toddler. She's still a friggin' baby to me though! I know its cliche but damnit! I can remember like it was yesterday when all she was was a snuggle blob, to put it poetically.
Where to start? She's amazing at knowing what sounds animals make. Few stump her and she picks up on new ones like that! (yes, I did just snap) My favorite that she does has to be a tie between what does a horse say? Neeeeeeeeeigh! and what does a cat say? Eeeeeeow! There's no Me to her meow. Yet.
Body parts and articles of clothing are a thing of the past. She's had that down for a few month now. It's still a little bit of a shocker when you say hey you! Go get your shoes! And she fishes out the pair she wants to wear. Or better yet when she knows what shoes are mine. I was at the 'rents the other day when she was up and we had gone out earlier in the day to play with the bubbles and I had asked her if she'd put my shoes on for me. She didn't then but later when my ma and pa were getting her ready to take her back to her pops she came running over to me with my shoes, held them out and said, "Here Kaykey!" Aww. It doesn't sound like much in print put in person that shit just melts my heart.
That same day she wanted to help with something in the kitchen cause I guess she likes cooking so I made some cookies with her. Every time I turned on the beaters she'd look at me and yell," Stop peeeease! Stop peeease! Stop peeease!" For some reason she didn't like that part. She did like sticking her wooden spoon in everything and licking it. If anyone ate the current batch of cookies at my parents' house, congratulations you ate some Addy spit. Sorry.
She's doing a good job with those find the object in the picture books. You know where they have a cow, horse, pig, dog in a box and also in the picture. She does very well with them. She's also doing ok with her colors. She counts a little and knows some of the alphabet. If you're counting something out, like cups of flour, and she's by you sometimes she picks up where you left off . It's cute.
She's no longer restricted to one word communication, she's started on simple sentences. A lot of "I help!" or "I'm comin'!" Words with please thrown in.
She's also getting a little bit of an attitude. But she's two so that's normal. There's a whole lot of MINE! going around or you'll be sitting in a chair and she crawls up in your lap and for a second you think "Ah! She wants to snuggle!" and you get all excited only to realize what she's really doing is attempting to throw you off the chair because it's "Addy's chair!" She's starting to realize more when she's done something naughty because she's takes her talkin' to like a champ and generally stops what ever it was. Temporarily at the very least.
Perhaps the best thing she's learned as of late is to help chant Hey! Hey! Ho! Ho! Scott Walker's got to go!
If someone says hey, hey! She'll go ho, ho! And sometimes if you ask her who has to go she'll give you a Scott Walker only it sounds more like Sot Walkeh! She gets the got to go part at times too. She's a smart girl learning to dislike that terrible human.
I'm sorry but the man has won douche of the year and it's only March. That takes talent. He's not right. Nope. Not right. It's all in the approach Mr. Governor and your approach is terrible. Terrible which starts with t that rhymes with gee as in Gee, we're in trouble if your budget repair bill and budget goes through as is because apparently you think public education isn't something to take seriously you fuck.
Whoa. Yeeeeah. Yeah sorry about that.
Ok. I think that's enough for now. And no. I didn't proof this.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)