Attention all eligible bachelors and anyone who would like to set me up with a good looking man (he doesn't have to be gorgeous) between the ages of 21 and 34 who is preferably 6 feet or taller I have finally come up with a list of criteria I need in a man outside of the usual relationshippy things.
I don't require much from a man. Well, ok so I might appear like I do but the stuff I'm about to list are not necessarily things he has to do but things he is willing to do. Some grumbling at an item is acceptable if at the end of the day I can get him to do said thing.
Item #1: He has to take my car for an oil change or go with me. I'll pay for it gladly. I just hate doing it.
Item #2: In cold months he needs to be willing to lay on my side of the bed for 15 minutes prior to lights out so it is nice and warm. Could I just snuggle him for warmth? Yes I most certainly could. I'm not ruling out the snuggle. I would just like sheets above teeth chattering degree.
Item #3: He has to be able to watch a baseball game. This one could very well be a deal breaker. If he can't watch a game on TV then for 162 day in a 180 day span it could be difficult to get along.
Item #4: He needs to posses better math skills or at least better patience when it comes to balancing a checkbook so when I get uber pissed because I haven't done it in four months he can figure it out. Also doing taxes and buying big ticket items such as cars falls under his purview.
Item #5: He's the exterminator of creepy bugs and spiders. I'm not doing that since it takes a solid minute to hype myself up to preform the act.
Item #6: He's got to be able to sing shamelessly along with the radio in the car. Or at the very least tolerate my terrible singing as I go note for note with Celine Dion.
Item #7: He can't be jealous of my Craig Counsell crush. I will openly make suggestive comments and he has to accept that. In return I will allow the same for one woman of his choice. The only condition is said female can't be someone he knows, she must be in the athlete/actress/singer/famous for being rich category.
Item #8: A nice back massage once in a while would be great. He provides me with a massage, I'll provide him with the happy ending. It's got to be cheaper then paying $60 an hour to have someone else rub you down.
Item #9: He needs to enjoy doing random things like dancing for no good reason or sliding on the ice. Spontaneous immaturity can be great fun.
Item #10: He needs some skills with tools and/or in building things. Those shelves aren't going to assemble themselves! Or to put it more accurately fix what I have attempted to build.
Item #11: It is his job to drive in adverse weather conditions. Unless say he's from Florida and hasn't really drove in the snow then I'll take the wheel.
There. I think that rounds out my list for now. A nice uneven 11.
Now go tell your cute TDH male friends and send any candidates my way.
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