Watch out Martha!

Watch your back Martha Stewart I am so on to you!

I totally pulled a Martha today when it came to cleaning my keyboard. How? I made quite the effective cleaning device with what was laying around. Such a Martha thing.

Cleaning my keyboard? Yes, a strange thing to do. And you might be thinking "well they make those fancy can's of air for that exact reason, sparky." I know this. I don't own canned air. And I like my method better. I need to get some form of satisfaction out of cleaning and blowing all the grime out with air would not provide me the odd joy of pulling a dusty bunny the size of my pinkie nail laced with strands of my hair and food particles from the keyboard. Gross sounding yes. You're just lucky I didn't take a picture of it all. It was nasty yet oh-so gratifying. When I clean I need a visual difference from dirt to clean. I can't just dust when I don't see anything. That instinct hasn't quite kicked in yet. I get domestic urges sure but they happen like twice a month and last about 2 hours. Then I get distracted by a butterfly and all is forgotten.

So how do I clean my keyboard so it sparkles like the day it arrived from Dell? I'll tell you in what I call "Katie's 21 Step Program to a Visually Pleasing keyboard (a process that infuses fun and innovation along with practicality)"

Step One: Get a 3x5 index card and cut a strip of it, width wise, so it is about a half inch wide and short so it is easy to handle.
Step Two: Starting from one end (I generally go from backspace to ~) sweep the card in the crack. Pull out any dusty bunnies that surface. Repeat sweeping in same line until most dust is removed. Spice things up by sweeping the card both ways. (ie, the short end and the long end)
Step Three: Repeat all through the main keyboard area.
Step Four: "Ewwwww" a little bit
Step Five: Starting at ~ and down to Ctrl, sweep the card repeatedly using the short end. Pull out goodies.
*If need be, grab a tweezers to help you grab the nasty*
Step Six: Repeat on other side.
Step Seven: Repeat the motions in remaining areas.
Note: It is best to use a sturdy card so if the one you are using starts to feel flabby, cut a new one.
Step Eight: After all the rows and columns have been sweeped, pick up keyboard and angle it one way. (Like the number pad is in the air more than the other end)
Step Nine: Blow. Be careful, you might get a face full of particulate so close your eyes.
Step Ten: Open your eyes and see the nasty. Brush off and blow again.
Step Eleven: Repeat the cleaning of the keys with index card as the blowing has made more dust loose.
Step Twelve: Pick up keyboard once again, flip so the keys are facing down and shake it. (I tend to sing in my head whenever I shake anything "shake it, don't brake it. Took you're mama nine months to make it! oh!")
Step Thirteen: Look at the nasty and sweep to one side. *For funsy, keep the pile until the very end so you can see all the gross you've collected. But make sure it is in an area that cannot be effected by you're breathing. It will send it all over*
Step Fourteen: Depending on how nasty your keyboard is, the keys may still be caked with dust so grab your handy disposable dust cloth, like from a Swifter Sweeper. (I use the ones from the dollar store since that's how I roll)
Step Fifteen: Take index card strip and wrap in wipe.
Step Sixteen: Run wipe through keys using the same motions as in step two.
Step Seventeen: For sticky nasty use a wet wipe, but gently! I just do a little dab since I don't know if the ones I use are, you know, approved for electronics.
Step Eighteen: Inspect keyboard.
Step Nineteen: Inspect pile of nasty. See if there is anything funny or exceptionally gross in it.
Step Twenty: Discard pile of nasty and smile are your sparkling keyboard.
Step Twenty One: Wash your hands. Ick.

Now wasn't that fun? Much more fun than a can of air. Sorry laptop users, this does not apply to you. Also be careful when cleaning with computer on. You could end up pushing something and not know what the hell happened. I usually clean my keyboard oh, once a year. Maybe every six months. Well deep clean anyways. If I do it too often then I lose the dusty bunnies the size of pebbles and that is no fun.

Martha's got nothing on me. Next time I'll teach you the versatility of plastic bags. Just as useful as duct tape? We'll find out!