My Philosophy

Here is my philosophy on parenting.

Wait. Before I get to that, in the interest of disclaimers and full disclosure...Yes, I have no children. Yes, I've never served as a "parental figure" in anyone's life. No, I do not spend my days around children. No, my philosophy is not sound nor is it perfect but is any philosophy that way?

Back to the topic at hand...

Here is my parenting philosophy. It is simple and it is sound. All you have to do is ask yourself "Do I want my kid to be That Kid?"

You know, That Kid who everyone knows for a not good reason. Who is whispered about behind his/her back, whose reputation as That Kid will follow them all through school. I don't want any of my kids to be That Kid.

I'm sure everyone was That Kid at some point or in some certain area. Like oh, That Kid peed his pants in second grade. That shit follows you. Granted that has nothing to do with parenting, it just sort of sets up the whole That Kid argument.

Say you don't let your kids eat candy. One day at recess little MaryBeth might want to share her Skittles. She offers them to your kid and she responds, "Oh my parents don't let me eat candy." Que the awkward silence as MaryBeth commits it to memory that That Kid doesn't eat candy.

Life is hard enough, kids are mean and middle school is downright brutal. Do you really want to add to that by being in part responsible for labeling your kid That Kid? I know I don't want to. I'm not saying you have to sacrifice individualism, personal beliefs or morals. You've just got to balance it. You can't control other people's kids. You just can't. Your kid is going to have issues with buttheads regardless of if they are That Kid or not. It is just the facts of life. The question is do you want to add to it by tagging your child with a certain stigma that will eventually screw them over so when they are 15 they can scream at you "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT MOM! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT NEVER LET ME EAT CANDY!!!!!!!"

Ok so obviously not eating candy isn't really a major issue. I'm just using it because, well, I just am. I have heard stories about That Kid from the teachers in my family. Some of these kids are getting stuck with the label at the age of 7 and they're going to have to live with it until they graduate.

I'm just sayin'. You got to think about these things. Do you really want your precious little girl or boy to end up That Kid?

I didn't think so.

This sort of brings up my issue with people who name their kids weird things. It is just cruel. I should make a group. PUNKS. People United against Naming Kids Stupidly.

After I re-read this, ya know, a week later I realized my PUNKS didn't make any sense. So I'm taking artistic license by saying "against" does not need to be capitalized therefore it does not need to be part of the abbreviation....yes. That is quite the large license.