The writing on the decline slips...

Some people write majestic things upon napkins, notebook paper or scrapes found on the bottom of their purse. I don't. Well, I do write in notebooks but my method of capturing my random thoughts and what not is by writing on decline slips at work. Decline slips being what I shove in the check machine when someones form of payment has been, well declined! So easy!

Ok moving on though. The point of this post, for the most part, is to shed light on these sacred slips that have been in my apron pocket since the early days of summer. Lately I have been lacking in my writing on them, preferring to draw beautiful geometrically pleasing designs on them but anyway, here are some things that I have wrote down.

• Hot Ice. Someone bought a book called Hot Ice and it made me laugh because in the movie Rookie of the Year, the pitching coach who is a tad bit on the crazy side told the kid that is method of treating an arm after a game was hot ice. You take the ice, heat it up and viola! Hot Ice!
• Someone bought something and on the receipt it was called Pork Butt. That just made me laugh.
• A woman one day bought a lot of cards with monkeys on them and I wondered if she thought monkeys/chimps where funny. Because Dunstan Checks In was so 12 years ago.
• Piss and vinegar running through a person's veins. Doesn't piss already run though them regardless?
• A woman at work, her laugh reminds me of a mixture of Sponge Bob and Patrick with a tad bit of Little Bear thrown in. That is not a good combination to say the least.
• Roundys product packages are such a rip off of name brand stuff. When I first really started to notice it I kept getting a song stuck in my head. And it goes like this: Mock, yeah. Ing, yeah. Bird, yeah. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah,Yeah! Mocking bird won't you sing your song. I don't know how it goes after the yeahs . I just make it up. It is ridiculous how close the packages look! If Kotex puts a flower in the lower right hand corner, Roundys puts a flower in the lower right hand corner, only a little different.
• Sometimes while working I am exposed to great deals of white trash gib gabber from all forms of folk and some days, it is just too damn early to deal with.
• I saw a woman the other day with black hair with giant whiteish color streaks and it reminded me of pudding. The type of pudding that comes in the little bitty packs and has chocolate than vanilla than chocolate again. The lines of the different colors weren't perfectly straight either so it had the wavy look like the pudding line has.
• I've always thought it'd be nice to be able to have a little corpal punishment towards super mean/annoying people. (ok so not really but when people shove their fucking savings card in my face and I mean they literally hold it there all up in my space, I have the urge to slap them) maybe not so much physical action towards people but the ability to tell someone off would be AMAZING! So anyways, I've thought it'd be fun to work in a place like that where the customer would know what they were getting themselves into and today I came up with the best motto. "Prices you can't beat, but customers you can." See it'd have to be cheap enough so people would come back...hehe.

Ok. That's all I got. My apologies on the length and OH! I thought of something else that is hilarious! Some old lady the other day was bitching about how the store is always so cold and anyways she said something about how maybe she'll try the new Target to see if it is warmer. I found this funny because I never thought we'd lose business over the temperature of the store, just our grossly exaggerated prices on some items.

I am so loyal.