The birds and the bees are connected to my knees!

So that isn't how the song goes. It's how it goes in my household.

So I think I just witnessed either a gang bang by a bunch of finches or a gang hit by the same finches. Those bitches just went crazy! I'm sitting here, doing my thang, with my window open on the splendid spring day and hear this weird bird which I guess sounded like a crow but don't know if it was then a whole bunch of twittering finches and then the crow, then the finches. So I went to my window to see what the hell was going on the finches were after something. Flying in a huge pack, hunting down whatever it was. Half of them were on the tree yet.

Yes ladies and gentlemen that is my excitement here in Whitewater. When the police aren't surrounding the building or boilers exploding, its birds on crack that peak my interests.

So I Hookah-ed for the first time the other night. Amazing. AMAZING! Simply amazing! Don't know what a hookah is? Then you suck. Kidding. You know, the thing the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland smoked. Whoooo R U? Hehe. Double O Dipshit bought one and she came on by with it. I just...wow! They don't smell like normal tobacco and taste good. And it sounds like a bong! Which I've never done but know from the corruption of American television and cinema. We discussed it and it's functional art. The vase part is so pretty and could be the center piece of any fine dining room plus you can smoke with it. A nice combo.

I've come to the conclusion I have yet another addiction. Notebooks. I spent 10+ minutes in the notebook aisle picking some out. I burn through them like we burn through a barrel of oil. I had to find the perfect one. I was looking for one to keep track of shit like how I spend my money and then just another to write in . The one I'm going to use to just write in had to be college ruled. I take offense to wide ruled paper. I have trained my letters to be small. Then the one I'm using for my money shit is wide ruled. That can be wide.

Then I, uh, uh might have went ahead and uh picked up uh uh another pack of pens. :) Say hello to uni-ball vision needle. .7mm fine tip black ink. MM! Fabulous! Needle point tip with a clear grip so I can look at that part of the pen which is a bunch of little circles all stacked on each other. Liquid ink inside so I can check the levels. It's a fine addition to the family... all four of them . Yes, you read me right. FOUR! FOUR! for something like $5.27. A good deal. Sure I could go with the bic where you get 10 for half the price but seriously. I take quality over quantity. Though I do have quite the quantity of pens. But I think a few of the bastards, I mean babies, are drying up. That is not acceptable.

Oh boo. I just checked the life on one and he's officially a goner. No ink left in the body. Poor thing. He had a good run. Good bye pilot V Ball Grip Extra Fine black ink. Enjoy your time in the big pocket protector in the sky.

No don't worry. I won't to this again.

I saw a man in the aisle looking like he was having an equally difficult time picking out a pack of pens and I wanted to turn to him and say, "pen snob too huh? I've been there. Deep breaths and vodka get me through the decision making process"

Um anything else? Oh. So I think FSN Wisconsin are bitches. They have this text a question to the booth deally-o during the Brewers games (I won't even open up that can of worms....the Brewers. HA!) and my roommate and I always try to think of awesome questions to ask and never do and then the past two nights we came up with some and the bastards didn't answer them. Last night they answered questions people asked about Trinni. TRINNI! The chick sideline announcer. I don't like TRINNI! She annoys me. BLACH!

Ok had to get that off my chest. I have new pens to but through the hard training camp. It's like boot camp for writing utensils.

keep it real buttheads!