Total Blockage

So I've been charged with crafting the Christmas message this year.

I'm supposed to come up with the way to let people know that Tyler got hitched and oh, is going to have a baby!

It really shouldn't be difficult but I find that is sort of is. I'm trying for a certain balance and tone but can't quite get it. I think I might have it but I'm not 100 percent satisfied with it.

Writers block. What a bitch. They say you gotta have the end planned to break the block. The end has been planned! It isn't like I'm writing fiction.

Or it could be the pressure of finals that's getting to me. After all I cranked out a thirty page paper in probably 24 hours if you add it all up. I've had to write articles, I've had to write exams, I've had to study, I've blogged. I'm getting wrote out!

I did a mock news meets feature story on the wedding for inspiration. I think it helped a little in getting the block out. Now it's more of a partial one.

Speaking of blockage, I've ate a bag of popcorn the last three nights. Except I guess popcorn is sorta good for you? Better then chips at least. I LOVE burnt popcorn. I...I absolutely adore it. I don't know why but my mouth just waters at the thought of a charred kernel of corn! I know I'm in the minority on it but holy cats n' gowns! AMAZAZAZAING! But according to Briana if you eat too much popcorn it causes cancer. Well, she said it'd take a bag a day for 20 years but still!

When I write I lean my head on my right shoulder. Not all the time just when I write for a prolonged period of time. I wonder if it has something to do with which side of my brain I'm using. But I don't know what side of the brain is for writing.

Oh tiny morsels of charred goodness. Unleash your flavor of fire on to me.

You know Bear, of course you know Bear. Bear says that if you're in the wilderness, as I often find myself, if you eat something that upsets your tum tum you can snack on some charcoal from a fire to sooth the belly.

I also learned that from watching Emergency Vets on a regular basis in my youth. A dog would eat 14 pounds of bakers chocolate, rut roo Shaggy!, So they'd shove a tube down a dogs throat and pour in some charcoal solution.

I had a dream about having a dog last night. Then I made the mistake of googling black lab puppies and like a true idiot got overly giddy at the puppies with a bunch of "ooooh my goodness look at yoooooou!" in that sort of high pitched voice were it's a mix of baby talk and the voice of a person who chain smokes Parliaments. You know the voice, I know you do. Then I proceeded to melt into a puddle of goo.

Well, I don't really have to do anything until 6 tomorrow but I should really do something crazy like study or proofread.

Peace and popcorn grease.

And then the snow will turn to bullets

Holy crap. The Weather Channel does not mess around when it comes to weather advisories.

It's supposed to get snowy, icy and freezing all tonight so there are advisories out. Duh. But dang! They are so hard core sounding! Maybe half of it has to do with the fact it's all in caps but still.

AN EXCEPTIONALLY STRONG COLD FRONT TRAILING FROM THE LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM WILL BLAST THROUGH SOUTHERN WISCONSIN THIS EVENING. AS THE FRONT PASSES THROUGH... TEMPERATURES WILL FALL SWIFTLY INTO THE 20S... AND EVENTUALLY DOWN TO THE SINGLE DIGITS BY MONDAY MORNING.

RAIN IS EXPECTED ALONG AND AHEAD OF THE FRONT. THE RAIN WILL CHANGE TO SNOW AS THE TEMPERATURES PLUMMET BEHIND THE FRONT.

SOUTHERN WISCONSIN WILL THEN BE IN A DEEP FREEZE... WITH HIGHS ON MONDAY ONLY CLIMBING INTO THE SINGLE DIGITS AND TEENS. WIND CHILL VALUES DURING THE AFTERNOON WILL BE BETWEEN 8 BELOW AND 18 BELOW ZERO ACROSS SOUTHERN WISCONSIN.

THOSE GOING OUTSIDE TONIGHT AND MONDAY SHOULD PREPARE FOR THE BITTER COLD CONDITIONS... AND WEAR PLENTY OF WARM CLOTHING TO COVER EXPOSED SKIN.

Blast through, plummeting temperatures! A DEEP FREEZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Then they show they care by saying bundle up!

I guess I shouldn't really say anything. After all I did complain about use of soft language with "wintery mix" The Weather Channel has got their asses together and are using the scare tactic. Snaps Weather Channel, snaps!

Oooooooooooooooooooooh mio oh my-o oh Cleavland Ohio.

I'm on my 25th page of my paper. Don't worry, I'll be sure to post it here for everyone to see!

Not. I don't even want to read it.

Twenty five pages down and I'm probably gonna be able to squeeze out another two. I'm adding an appendix to include the current Obama staff picks up until this point. Whooppeeee!

Add in I'm guess two-three pages worth of sources, a title page, maybe a table of contents, this beast is gonna be over 30 pages.

My unplugging from the internet did work wonders. I got a whole lot more done then I would have if I stayed connected. Its officially has taken a trip to Nashville plus some to write the paper. How do I know such things? I started my Nashville playlist from this summer at like 3 yesterday and listened to it pretty much the whole time while writing and I listened to the last song about about 4. Now I'm on my way to Washington DC! Woooooot.

...I have got to get away from this computer.

Ok. Off I go to take a shower then get back on the horse and put this bitch in the bag. And maybe study for my exam that's at 10 tomorrow that I haven't even started to study for. Good thing it's mostly open note.

Oh I forogot something. Per request on my xmas outfit this year: that is super secret classified information until Saturday! I must wow with my outfit and I must also win!

Unplugged

I seriously think I missed my calling in life of being a DJ. Maybe not a DJ but a music sequencer. I make amazing playlists. I just made a new one called slowy rocky songies. Sure I suck at naming them but I rock at getting every song to flow into the next.

These hidden talents, I tell ya. Just amazing.

Ok so not really.

Woot woot! School's done Thursday! Woot woot! Yeah! Though I might stick around until Saturday morning cause I might do a game on Friday night. It would also add the bonus of not having to deal with the crazy mother that comes out before any get together at our house.

I don't know why but for some reason I don't like it when people back into parking stalls. There is a time and a place when it is acceptable but the people who always does it, what the hell? What possible reason could there be for backing into a stall at the grocery store? At work? At the mall? Getting out easier? Um if you can back into a stall I think backing out of one would be a piece of cake. Seriously. I think 50 percent of cars at a high school sporting event are backed in. I do not understand.

High school games also annoye me because of the hip hop music. Blach! Me no likey hip hop. I can take it in small doses, not 20 minutes of warm ups. But last night I did see a kid dunk which was pretty amazing.

So this weekend is going to be thrilling! Not. I'm writing a paper and studying. And in a little bit I'm going unplugged. The internet is an evil beast that lures me away when it shouldn't. The remedy? Take out the little wifi finder thinger mabob, put it on a train and send it to North Dakota for the weekend. Ok so not that last part. The internet is toxic. Sure it has some amazing perks but it also has some pitfalls. YouTube just sucks an productivity out of my soul. I think to myself "well I'll just watch the one thing." But then they get you with those fooking related videos! It's an hour later and you're laughing over a cat who likes to wear a box like a tube top. Damn you YouTube. Damn you.

And speaking of productivity, it's time to be productive. Eat some lunch, then it's nos vemos internet!

Chow mien noodles!

160 million reasons why

So CC Sabathia has traded in the ball and glove logo for pinstripes. Yankee pinstripes.

I hate the Yankees.

The deal? A mere 160 million dollars over seven years. That comes to about 22 million a season or some person went far enough to calculate how much he'd make per pitch. Using the basic 100 pitches an outing, five man rotation, it comes to about $800 a pitch.

Holy shit. This is why baseball needs a salary cap. People say salary caps are unfair because it hurts a teams prospect of getting a strong roster. Bull shit mama! I've done minimal research (googled it, read the top 2-3 articles so really I know next to nothing) and the only team that would be hurt would be the Yankees. Go figure. People say it would hurt with talent distribution or some shit. If you wanna talk about talent the worst thing when it comes to it are expansion teams. Adding teams like the Diamondbacks and Marlins meant 50 players who would have not been on a big league roster made it. Salary cap does nothing to the talent pool, it just means teams like the Yankees can't drop millions upon millions on players.

My argument is yeah it's fun when your team wins. But what fun is it if your roster is so lopsided that every game is a blow out? I like the excitement of a close game. Sure a win is a win but a win in the bottom of the ninth is so much more satisfying then a game that's sealed up by the fourth. Yeah underdog teams can always pull off a win but if a roster has 6 former rookie of the years, all-stars at every position along with multiple golden glove winners then come on, who ever faces them is basically screwed.

It's frustrating to small market teams because they might have the capability of being a powerhouse but once their players reach free agency, the player is wined, dined, then inking a contract for 24 million for a year with the Bronx buttwipes.

At what point should a person think to himself "Ya know, what the fuck am I gonna do with $160 million?" Why not think, "well I kind of like it here in Milwaukee and 100 mil is nothing to sneeze at so why not take the less money and stay here"? I mean seriously! A person plays a sport for a living! Why do we place so much worth on a guy who can throw a slider that gets 'em swinging every time? We can't pay the people who have to teach the kids of this country more then $40,000 but lets fork over the national budget of Sierra Leone and Sao Tome to a left handed pitcher who can give the team 20 quality starts a year.

I'm just sayin'.

I got to thinking what I'd do with 160 million if I ever get offered that much. I wouldn't take it though. I have like even numbers so I'd hold out for 200 mil but that's neither here nor there.

Anyway, I've come up with a few things:
1) I'd play the lotto. 160 mil just isn't enough. The probability of winning a state wide lottery is something like 18 million to 1. I'd wait until there was a drawing, then go to the local 7-Eleven after it's declared there hasn't been a winner and buy 19 million lottery tickets. You know, I gotta have a million worth of insurance in case the numbers lie to me! And I'd have to wait until I'd get a substantial return on my investment.
2) I'd get a million dollars in one dollar bills and use it as toilet paper. Sure it might be a federal offense to deface money but I'll argue that once flushed, think of all the happy sewer workers who will find dollar bills floating in a moat of poo. If they choose to pick it out, clean it up some and put it back into circulation then I'm not breaking any laws.
3)I'd buy islands in the Caribbean. I wouldn't splurge of a single one with a value of 30 mil. Oh no. I'd go for about five islands costing about 3 to 5 million. I want to own my very own archipelago!
4) I'd buy a car for every day of the week. But I'd also need a boat for everyday of the week when I'm living on my island chain. Also I'd need a winter fleet and a summer fleet. I can't drive a Rolls in the winter, the salt would be murder on the paint job!
5) I wouldn't buy an airplane. Instead I'd buy a train. I would travel to and fro on my very own 25 car passenger train. It would be equipped with dining, dancing, entertainment and whatever my little heart could dream up.
6) I'd buy the whole world a Coke. No. I wouldn't do that. I'd buy the whole state of Wisconsin a Dr Pepper. Two reasons: I don't like Coke and I don't like everyone in the world but by default I will always hold Wisconsin dear in my heart.
--See I'm banking on the fact my lottery scheme will have worked. And I will also have established residency in Florida since they don't have an income tax so I get more bang for my buck before dirty Uncle Sam takes it away for crazy things like Welfare and child nutrition. How dare the American government try to use my money for such ridiculous programs! I'd also establish residency by buying a house for $250,000 in Florida so I wouldn't get raped on property tax...but Wisconsin screws you over on that too...hmmm. I must find more evil schemes!--
7) I'd dote upon my family. I'd set aside 10 mil to see to their needs. That's a whole lot of Fords and GM's I could buy them! Mommy could tool around in Ford Focus while I tool around in an Aston-Martin, nat. Perhaps I'd set them up with a nice condo in the place of their choice. I'd also splurge on my friends.
---I'd pay cash for everything thing so I would know how much I have spent and how much I have left. None of this mortgage or loan shit. I don't want to have to pay more for something.
8)I'd buy season tickets to the Brewers. How many? The entire field diamond box 121. It's situated behind the visitors dugout so I could heckle and I'd also have a good view of the Brewers dugout so I could drool. I would also have chances of catching foul balls. I'd put velvet ropes up all along my section and sit smack dab in the middle. I'd have a bouncer/valet who regardless of his god given name I'd call Vladimir who'd bounce anyone trying to come into my section. He'd also carry me away on a golden thrown to my car.
9) Every Christmas I'd donate $10,000 to the local Boys and Girls Club. Then go to Wal-Mart and buy what every poor person wants, Ramen Noodles, to donate to the food pantry.
10)I'd commission a nude statue of myself to be the center piece of my herb garden I plan on planting on the roof of my San Francisco house. I'd hire a woman with a better body to do the naked part while the only part that is me is my face. My San Francisco house wouldn't be just any house. I'd buy the house from Full House.
11) I'd go to the Humane Society and adopt dogs. I'd keep the cute ones and do the world a favor by releasing the ugly ones into the wild of Alaska then wait near by with my fleet of snowmobiles as they are ate by polar bears. It's a two-for! Rid the world of mange mutts that no one could ever love and make even more money by betting on which one would get ate first. I'd be guaranteed to win cause no one would have to know I secretly fed a dog ball bearings so he's 20 pounds over weight and can't run as fast. I'd pay off the judge in the Michael Vick case so I could bring Michael along. Then when we're caught I'd blame it on him and everyone would believe me. You don't even want to know what I'd do with the cats.
12) I'd spend tons of money on pens. I'd build the humidor of pens in my basement at every residence I have. That's just how I roll. I may be filthy rich but I'd still be a simple girl who loves pens. I'd clear the shelves of every office supply store in the area and hire an old professor who'd sit in the room and act like the curator of pens. He's document each one, record the date of last use and have a sample of what it looks like when written with so I could choose the perfect writing instrument. He'd have to wear a bow tie and one of those jackets with the elbow pads at all times.

I'd do all that and still have money to wipe my ass with.

PSA

So I've been told that I don't do enough Public Service Announcements.

Ok fine. No one has ever said that to me. I just feel it is my duty as a concerned citizen to bring this topic to light. I feel it does not get enough media attention as it should. So here you go:





Like the video says, it's easy preventable. Please speak to you children about it.

Sounds Delicious!

Apparently we're about to be spanked by a weather system. A "wintry mix" is supposed to be in the area tonight through tomorrow night. It's not supposed to be as bad here as other places but still. It could be icy which is icky.

A wintry mix. That is so deceiving! It sounds delicious. It sounds like a blend of fruits or vegetables like a Californian blend. Can I substitue the rice for the wintry mix? It sounds like a cocktail mix were all you add is brandy and ta da! A delicious totty to enjoy by the fire whilest you burn the yule log.

It does not sound like something that reeks havoc on roadways and causes inconvenience. It's something that when you hear it you think, "Ah crime in Italy!" The name does not illude to what is on the horizon. They should come up with a new name for it. Something like hell mix. "expect a hell-ish mix of precipitation today cause we're gonna get slammed by freezing rain then snow! Oh and expect temperatures to plummet to -15 before the wind chill! Have a great Tuesday and back to you Suzy!"

Weather is not something that needs a positive spin. Sure no one wants to hear about the hurricane swirling off the coast but a hurricane is a hurricane. Do you think people give a rip if they alleviate global warming if their house just got ripped off the foundation? No.

Wintry mix just does not do it justice. That's all I'm saying. There is a better description for it out there. I don't know what it is but it's there.

Anyway, I was googling myself (hehe that sounds so dirty!) cause I realized I haven't printed some articles off and was trying to find them. Anyway. There were a couple hits for some WNBA player and of couse the singer. None for me which was a little sad but I got over it. I decided to listen to the infamous "God Bless America" since if any one over the age of 65 says anything about my name they ask if I can sing that song. It's not clever! And NO! I do not sing! Well, I do just horribly. Is it shameful I wasn't exactly wow-ed by it? Sure it was good but it wasn't like her voice could make a person weep. All that hype for nothing. Kind of a let down.

Old people also sing some song that I've never heard too. My grandpa used to do it all the time. He doesn't any more which is a little sad and part of me wishes he'd whip it out one of these days. I should google that song! Some old dude, or maybe it was a dudette, sang it at the grocery store sometime last year.

Whoa. That is one old ass song! It talks about going to France to fight the Kaiser. Hello World War I!

Alright I got homework to do. Down to the two week mark, holla!

What's my age again?

Maintenance Man sucks.

He made people get up this morning to move their cars so he could plow the friggin' lot. On a Saturday. Who does that?!

Sure it was going on 11 but that's just details.

It's crap I tell you. CRAP! The actual driving area had been plowed but he wants the stalls cleared. Which sure some might say is nice but hi. This is a college apartment building. We don't really care much about shit like that! I can understand wanting the driving spots clear but the stalls?! It hasn't even snowed that much! Plus most of the lot is empty so just do the ones that are clear.

I find the whole process impractical because during the week there is no way in hell all the cars can be moved to the back lot or to the sides. There are too many cars! And it isn't like there is a plethora of parking else where in this town.

Anyway.

I've been covering some basketball games for the DU and I've reached a strange point in my life. A point where I don't look at the boys in the stand but rather the coaches and think "hmm. He's kinda cute." The JV/assistant coach at one the schools looked to be about 25 and that's what made me think about it. A strange day indeed. It makes me feel old hanging about high schoolers. But really, I'm not old! It's just weird looking at the roster, seeing a freshmen and thinking how she's 7 years younger then me. I think that's right...freshmen year a person is 14-15...yeah cuz sophomore year you get to drive! Anyway. It's weird! At least I think it is since I find myself in that wishy-washy grey area. A grey area where some of the coaches might think this chick looks like one of my students not someone who's a reporter. For me all those high school feelings come back. Like seeing a teacher makes me slightly nervous if I'm playing with my phone. Wondering if the ticket people will really buy I'm not a student or am I gonna have to whip out the press pass. Some people at the grocery store had a hard time believing I was old enough to scan alcohol. That always annoyed me.
It'd be:
person-"oh you better call someone over"
me-"why?"
p- "cuz I got beer"
m- "uh, I can scan"
p- "really?!"
m-"I can even buy it."
p-"no!"
m-"shut the hell up and give me your damn card already"

Ok that last part might be a lie. I don't really take offense to someone saying I look young. I just get a little peeved when they don't believe me. I think I know my age bucko.

...well that turned into something else.

I'm outtie.

Stick it

Oh the first real snow fall of the season! How exciting! We've got a pretty lil blanket of snow which makes me feel all festive for the holiday season. And yikes. 25 days until Christmas?! Shit son! I haven't bought a single gift!

I have a love hate relationship with cold weather. Love the snow to a point, hate the slush it makes on the sidewalk. Love that we have distinctive seasons, hate the extremes. Love when it's cool and the wind is blowing at your back, hate when it's freezing and the wind is blowing in your face.

It is kind of torturous to think while walking to class "mm it isn't too bad out with the wind at my back. But oh the walk home, that's gonna blow cuz the winds gonna be in my face." I HATE that! And I hate that some places are like a wind tunnel because of the buildings or whatever. Just going along, it's not bad then wham! You enter a certain spot and the wind picks up by 10 mph.

I always freeze my giblets while walking home and I don't like it. Wait. That didn't sound right. That's a euphemism for a dude's naughty bits. I meant, you know, as in a turkey. The neck. I freeze my neck/chin fat. Not anything...dirty.

Speaking of turkey, sigh. One of these years...ONE OF THESE YEARS! I am gonna blow a blood vessel over Thanksgiving Dinner. Why? Because why oh why can't my family have a normal dinner? WHY I ASK?!

My demands are simple, they really are. Normal stuff! Normal food you see on a Butterball commercial. No deep fried turkey. No pork loin. That was years ago but I'm still bitter over it. No weird potatoes or lack of corn.

This year has to be one of the better Thanksgiving in recent memory. We had a normal turkey and a fried one. Regular mashed potatoes, corn (which was absent last year and that's just wrong), green bean casserole which is kinda gross, cranberry sauce which also is kinda gross but kinda amazing, rolls, stuffing. Pretty normal. Except there was no gravy. WTF? How can there not be gravy? Everything is dry then. What do you put on the potatoes? Nothing. Tisk tisk tisk.

The Thanksgiving feast I envision is a turkey cooked in the oven until the thermometer pops out of its ass then is served on a (fake) silver platter not chopped up with green garnish and those little paper frilly things on the drumsticks. Mashed potatoes, NORMAL mashed potatoes. Not boiled in chicken broth or infused with some other shit. Gravy in a gravy boat. Stuffing, corn, rolls, wine and well, a seat at the adult table. A coveted spot with the big kids. At least the kid's table is now in the same room as the adults. When Thanksgiving was at the g-units, they sat in the fancy dinning room (which mark my words I will eat a feast in! Even if it involves breaking into their house while they are away and eating alone!) while the kids ate in the kitchen. When Thanksgiving was at MJ's the adults ate upstairs while the kid's table was in the backroom in the basement. It was like we were the help and this was only two, three years ago. Tori got a spot at the adult table and I'm older then her! How rude! Well not really. But I guess this year's kid's table was a strange hybrid. The oldest cousin, the youngest cousin (me), two in between and the offspring of the oldest. Weird hybrid like I said.

Oh, I also want candles burning on my Thanksgiving table. Maybe I'll do a Thanksgiving in July sometime and I'll do it all my way! And if someone complains I'll shove a turkey baster someplace where the sun don't shine.

Anyway.

18 Days until the end of the semester, 25 days until Christmas, 50 days until Bush is out of office and about 10 weeks until I'm an auntie! Hehe. Had to throw that one in there. But I gotta say, at the rate they are going that kid is not gonna have a name until next Christmas. I will call it...Hmm I don't know what. I'll have to think of some nickname. No peanut, pumpkin, sugar, honey or sweetie. Everyone uses those. Ohh perhaps puddin'! Oh I don't know.

Ok I need to be productive.

Tootles.

Feeling Numb

I put some Vick's Vapor Rub on and it's such an odd sensation.

Slight numbing of the chest matched with numbing of the nasal passage in an oddly soothing way. It's like huffing Listerine.

Kinda fun.

So. I've been out of my blog routine. Guess there really hasn't been much going on. I went home this weekend for the traditional Deer Hunter weekend, which was kind of a bust Saturday. Friday AB, mama, and me went to Costco, whoopdee fookin' doo, then to Chalmers Jewelers for their ladies night. Drank some champagne, ate some hors, and looked at really expensive jewelry. A sales associate was with us for the whole time pretty much and we had a "wish list" to put what we wanted on. I put a few things on my wish list? Will I get anything on it? Um, hell no. Not unless I win the lotto, find me a man with deep pockets or do a heist.

Oh my gah though! They had Mont Blanc pens there! I squealed a little, ok a lot, on the inside. I WANT ONE! The pen was the cheapest thing I put on my wish list, an affordable $399.

I put a Sapphire necklace on my wish list, I don't remember how much that was. A couple thous. But the most expensive, and I think I had the pricey-est taste, was a ring. It was a blue diamond surrounded by regular diamonds and the band was all sparkly too. It was only $7,999. Holy nuts. I was scared to put it on my hand. But it was beautiful! Abag and me looked at the engagement rings too for shits and giggles, didn't try any on or look at them out of the case, but I did make her commit to memory the style that I like.

It was fun lookin' at the expensive crap.

Oh ew Aaron Rogers. Change your facial hair.

Ooooohhh it's almost Thanksgiving. The holiday is a double edged sword. Good because food, bad because it's the warning flag that the semester is coming to a close which translates to I gotta kick my ass into gear. Oh why must I procrastinate? Because it's an illness that I have no power over.

Ok. That's it.

Puppy Chow!

Beef on the hoof

Well huh. It's been a while since I have last blogged. Don't really got an excuse for it. Just been rotting my brain on homework and television shows.

Why do I always join the TV show party late? It's the damnedest thing. I don't know why but ever since The West Wing went of the air I haven't really kept up with a current TV show. Oh wait there was Studio 60. But even then I had to watch some online and not ya know, on the actual boob tube. It's odd. At least I think it is. But I guess I don't feel malnourished in the television sense so I suppose that's good. Though maybe that's what leads me to OD on shows like the CSI franchises since I can watch like seven a day. A recent development to the mix, NCIS. I find it strange.

I also find it strange when complete strangers comment on my blog but hey, it's out there for the world to read.

So uh yeah. It's been a pretty quite week. I can't really think of anything worth sharing. No stupid stories, no rant. Oh no that's a lie! Tuby! The kid(s) who live upstairs! The other morning they were being extra fat. Beef on the hoof as my uncle would call it. At like 330 in the morning I woke up and I swear to god it sounded like two sumo wrestlers were in the middle of a match. My room was shaking. I don't know what they were doing, maybe bowling with kegs, but I was getting to my wits end. Oooooh! They need to superglue felt to their feet and walk on bubble wrap. No wait. That's pop. They need to walk on something that muffles the sound.

No news yet on were my favorite baseball player is going. Le sigh. Hopefully the NL but not central because I'd hate to have to root against him so much. Though then I would see him more...so some place like Pittsburgh would be nice. Or Cincinnati I guess. Just no Cubs. Please.

Ok. I don't have anything else. Keep on keeping on.

Smart Ass

Not gonna lie, I got a little goose bumpy when Obama was giving his speech.

and that picture of the donkey beating up the elephant makes me giggle, except it's a little sad because the elephant looks so sad.

I was 3 for 3 by the way. Don't know who the Register of Deed's did nor do I care.

Rock the Cat Box

Ahhhhh, tomorrow is the day.

The day were we get to exercise our wonderful right to vote. I know many a person who voted early. Not I. What's the fun of voting if you don't do it on Election Day? It is not fun. So tomorrow I shall rise early and head out to my local voting precinct to fill in the bubble for my candidates and ballot measures of my choosing.

Who and what will I be voting for? It's really a no brainer but since I like to waste time here it is:

And I also vote for any school referendum for the city of Whitewater because 1) I think there always needs to be more money spent on education and 2) It's a nice little f-you to all the citizens of Whitewater who hate students. In return, I vote that your property taxes go up!

And of course there is always talk about a Fair Wisconsin. The referendum on the amendment was passed during the Midterms which was unfortunate. So just a nice lil' support to them!

Why do I vote the way I do? Because to me the important topics aren't taxes or the economy. I couldn't give a rip about it. I know I should since a shitty economy translates to craptastic job hunting, something I have to do soon. I vote the way I do because I care more about education and civil liberties and rights then hitting pay dirt on Wall Street. I do think government regulation is good for the most part. Do I want them telling everyone what to do? No but there can be a middle ground.

I do what I do, vote for who I vote for because it's what I think is right and that's it.

According to my calendar of counting down until Bush is out of office, tomorrow it'll be 77 days left. And it's also Laura Bush's birthday! Oh and it's almost Condi's birthday! The 14th! Such a useful calendar in so many ways!

Ok, I'm gonna go cook some supper.

Declined

My seasonal depression has just got darker.

The Brewers have declined Craig Counsell's option for next season.

Those rat bastards.

But there's still hope I guess. They're still negotiating a lower price. But I'm not holding my breath.

As what seems to be a theme, I have once again put my feelings into an illustration. Who needs Photoshop when I have Microsoft Word?

They always seem bigger...

...that's what she said.

annnnnnnnnnd that was lame. My apologies. I'm slightly depressed right now. And by slightly I mean I'm drunk. Oh, no I'm not. But a bit of my soul is.

That's it.

Actually no, no that is not it! To further illustrate my grief let me tell you about the song that fits my feelings. It's by one Mr. Michael Bolton. And it goes something like this:

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU ? (Michael Bolton)
I could hardly believe it When I heard the news today I had to come and get it straight from you They said you were leavin' Someone swept you heart away From the look upon your face I see it's true So tell me all about it, tell me 'bout the plans you're makin' Then tell me one thing more before I go
Chorus: Tell me how am I supposed to live without you Now that I've been lovin' you so long How am I supposed to live without you How am I supposed to carry on When all that I've been livin' for is gone
I didn't come here for cryin' Didn't come here to breakdown It's just a dream of mine is coming to an end An how can I blame you When I built my world around The hope that someday we'd be so much more than friends And I don't wanna know the price I'm gonna pay for dreaming When even now it's more than I can take
Chorus
And I don't wanna face the price I'm gonna pay for dreaming Now that your dream has come true
Chorus

And if you don't know how the song actually goes try this:

Well screw that shit. I was gonna actually attempt to embed a video from youtube but I know when I've been beat and blogger has once again won this round. Like I know what the hell it means to close a tag.

Anyway here it is. I don't know why there's Spanish subtitles but there are.

...I hate you blogger...I hate you!

Oh...happy halloween?

So I kinda think that I want a Nintendo DS Lite.

Yeah. Not exactly the target audience perhaps but demographics be damned! I kinda want one! I enjoy a nice video game as much as the next person. And perhaps it's those god damn celebrities and their influence on the public but every time I see America Ferrari or whatever her last name is playing one I can't help but be envious. I wanna test my brain age! and then I wanna play Mario!

I looked at the games they have and there's tetris which is always amazing, a game that's like bejewled, CSI! I could solve crimes! and some Marios.

I think Santa should bring me one. A red one. They really aren't all that hella expensive. Games are pretty cheap too plus it you can play game boy advance games on it! Now I don't have a game boy nor have I ever, perhaps that's why I want a DS now...childhood repression...anyway, I figure the Advance games gotta be cheap at some game depot so I could pick up some games that way.

Oh and the thing is partial touchscreen! I am easily amused by touchscreen technology. It fascinates me! I want one of those fancy touchscreen HP computers too.

Oh it's gonna be a long holiday season if I'm in the gimme mood.

Oh right it's Halloween...Happy Halloween I guess. Man my old age makes me immune to this day. Good thing the good people of WW know not to bother in student dwellings for candy cuz those little kids would be screwed. I'd give them some colored paper. No way are they getting my candy. But this means all the candy will go on sale! Woo! Stock up time! Or even better yet I could guilt trip my mother into sending me a care package with goodies in it!

Aw I haven't got a package since I moved out of the dorms. I haven't even got, like, any mail that didn't demand money from me. Damn you WE Energies! I do not want to pay you! I could hold off cuz starting tomorrow it's illegal to shut the power off in people's houses until the middle of April. Oh, but I won't of course. I hope the people below us enjoy cranking up the heat much like the people last year did because I do not wanna turn my heat on again all winter.

Ok that's it. I don't have much in the way of plans. Going to the library tomorrow then the soccer game. and then the library again some on Sunday. Yay for procrastinating then spending the weekend working! Not.

Oh and Re: new Brewers manager. I kinda wanted Bob Brenly. But I guess this guy seem's alright.

Peace party people

I have a drinking problem...two hands and only one mouth.

The results of the Bar Crawl Thursday night?

Almost having to crawl home. Yeah.

Free vodka drinks = bad idea.

Oooooooh it was fun though! From what I remember. We all had a good ol' time.

And I might have done karaoke. And by might have I mean I did. Yeah....the last thing we did that night besides getting a pizza at 2 a.m. The song? Why, Gangsta's Paradise of course! So I more or less rapped then sung. Except the chorus which I will venture to guess was atrocious to those around.

It was a good night though. That's for sure. Having to get up at 946 (yes, 46...I do even numbers!) to go to class and take a mid-term the next day? Not so fun. But I did alright on the test. Wasn't too hard, all open book.

Saturday was the parade and the football game. The parade I threw a few kids to the ground to get some candy, you know. The usual. The football game was good except for the part where they lost. What the hell?! They lose on Homecoming. They NEVER lose! We're talkin' undefeated. Haven't lost a game at home in like 20 some odd games there. Only lost once last year, national champions last year. And they lose. At least it was close. SP won by one with like 14 seconds left. They went for the 2-point convo. Ballsy. I tip my hat to them and their balls on that. Could tied it up, send it to overtime but they went all the way.

While typing the outcome of the game it brings me to my next little, whatever. We kept moving seats during the game to get closer and we ended up by a psycho. Briana was standing next to him and he was doing a play by play on the game. At first she thought he was talking to the people next to him. Oh no. He was all alone. Doing the play by play. It was hilarious then annoying. We all kept rotating so we could hear it. I'm talking in depth play by play. The kid bought a program so he could look up the players and stuff. "... is a junior from Franklin, Wisconsin. The quarterback is back in the shot gun formation and oh! High snap! Donovan had to scramble on that one to keep control of the ball!" This went on forever! I told Lauren she should start interjecting little things like "right you are Bob. The center just did not have a good grip on the ball for that snap." or tell him she'd be his sideline reporter.

It was weird. The guy seemed like a psycho.

Alright. I got shit to do. No communication classes today or tomorrow for advising! woot! except night class which isn't so much of a woot. Oh well. I gotta do some research, cook a fantastic meal. I have deer steaks marinading in a marinade of orange juice and southern comfort. Along with some spices. It better be good, my mommy told me to do it like that. I LOVE venison! mmmmm Bambi's mom. Or dad.

Ok so Tubby is making a really weird noise. At least I don't gotta listen to his bed squeak when he boinks like Briana does.

and it needs to not be snowing. What the hell is up with that?

o.....k?

At the risk of sounding like a complete nut bar, try this. Typing with out a keyboard.

Yeah. It's oddly fun and weird.

Whack-o right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How would I ever think of a thing? I was just drumming my fingers on my desk in front of my keyboard and then I don't know. It made me think of typing. So I just fake typed my name. And then a couple sentences. It's so weird! Muscle memory or whatever is some crazy ass shit.

I know, I know. The glue is for sticking things together, not for sniffing.

Yay! It's Homecoming Week which means Thursday night is the bar crawl. Woohoo! My first legal Homecoming! Bitchin'. The best thing about the bar crawl besides the cheap booze? The tshirt. Yeah. I will do just about anything for a tshirt.

Ooooooh my goodness. Someone is cooking something that smells amazing. I wanna knock on their door, fork in hand and be like hi neighbor! oh food! It smells Italian.

I gotta stop thinking about the food, it's making me way too hungry.

Ok. That's it.

na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey! Goodbye!

Tootles Dale Sveum, tootles.

It was a fun few games. But Dougie had other plans.

and yes...not my best attempt at a graphic-story-picture thingy.

it's beginning to look a lot like chris--wait, no it's not...

I am sad to say I have started making a Christmas list.

Yeah. The calendar has barley turned to October and I have Santa on the mind. I had to start one for two reason. 1. I had to put Photoshop on it and 2. I found a note with a band name on it and I couldn't remember why and then I recalled. I wanted their CD. So I put that on the list before I forgot. And now I am charged with the pleasant task of weeding through the gazillion shirts I want from various websites to a more respectful number.

Oh how I love funny tshirts! I LOVE THEM!

Here are a few of the ones I want.

From glarkware.com

Shuttlecock

From snorgtees.com

From bustedtees.com

and this one I don't necessarily want but come on, it's hilarious!

Oh who am I kidding, I want that shirt! Hehehe.

Ok that's it.

But then I got high

Within thirty seconds yesterday I saw the Red Bull mobile and a pirate.


Yeah. I thought I accidentally popped an LSD or something because it was weird! First it was the Red Bull mobile. It was this little tricked out car painted with the Red Bull logo and design with a giant can of Red Bull on it. It was some little car/trucky thing that was semi-convertible meets pick-up. The back was open and there was this huge can of Red Bull. It started in the trunk and went up. After being like "what in the hell?" walking down the sidewalk was a pirate. Yeah. I shook my head to clear it, to make sure I wasn't riding some contact high, but no. It was a pirate. Walking with a normal kid. The pirate was wearing the Jack Sparrow hat, had long dark, quasi-dread locked hair and a baggy white shirt.



Oh! I should google the Red Bull Mobile.



OH! I found it. Haha! I'm not nutso!

See? What the hell is that all about?! And why was it in this town?

Man oh man.

So, I've been thinking about getting photoshop for a while. I was talking to my friend about it because she was playing on it during class and she remined me that students get a discount on software. Then in today's school newspaper there was an ad about the software discount so I went and checked it out. I've decided I would like Adobe Design Suite. I get photoshop, InDesign, flash, illustrator and all sorts of other shit. The best part? The Adobe website has it listed at a retail value of $1799. How much would I, or should I say the 'rents since I'm placing it on my Christmas list, shell out for it using my student status? A much more affordable $299. Woot! Talk about your savings! I looked at just photoshop and that was like $180 but then I thought about the Suite and how InDesign would be nice and shit. Another 100 bucks for a crap ton of other programs? Sign me up!

Except I was looking at the system requirements and Francisco here, my computer...or his name is Fernando...I can't quite recall...yikes, has every thing needed except it says 1 GB of RAM or more recommend and I only have 500 MG. What the hell is a RAM? Seriously, that's funny speak. I don't quite understand such things. I should google it. I think I can get more. Plus I'm most likely gonna be getting a laptop sooner then later and I get to download my Adobe Suite (that is if mommy and daddy love me enough to have Santa give it to me) on both computers. Holla!

Oh I just LOVE photoshop! You can do all sorts of crazy shit on it. And InDesign is pretty sweet too. A lot of newspapers use it for layout so that'd be a perk to learning the ropes of it.

Ok I have to be productive. Not waste time like I have been. Yesterday I got sucked into the black hole of the Humane Society's website. I couldn't stop looking at dogs to adopt! I want Jake. He's a black lab mix and he's so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute! Aw. Doggies.

Ok. Tootles.

Thatsssssssssss grossssssssss

I almost stepped on a snake.

Yeah. Ew. Saturday night after we got home from Monroe. I wanted to go on a photoshoot so me and the 'bag were walking and Ashley was like "OH! Is that a SNAKE?!" and I looked down and sweet jesus it was.

Well actually it looked like a fake plastic one but then we threw a rock at it and it moved.

I almost stepped on it! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwww! It was a little twerp though. Very skinny and not very long, not even a foot probably. Teeny tiny. Still. Gross! So we poked at it. And by we I mean Ashley. She flipped him to the side of the road so he wouldn't get run over. But we think he was on the down swing cuz when she flipped to the side of the road, he was on his back and well, he didn't really uncoil to be the right way.

Ew it just gives me the willies thinking about it. I did take a picture of it, naturally, but I don't have that camera here. I should tell AB to put it online.

Anyway I was just on madison.com and saw a funny headline: Man busted after horse slapped on State Street.

Hehehe. It makes me laugh. Apparently the guy slapped a police horse on the "rump" a wee bit too hard.

And ew! Remains found in Kegonsa park won't be ID'd for some time. Ew.

Ok that's all I got.

Word to your brothers.

And the hits keep coming...

From JSOnline:


CLUBHOUSE CONFIDENTIAL
The Brewers hold a 2009 option on Counsell’s contract for $3.4 million, with a $400,000 buyout. Counsell, who grew up in Whitefish Bay, did not sound as if he expected that option to be exercised, however. “I’m not putting any expectations on it,” Counsell said. “I’m going to play somewhere, I know that. We’ll see what happens. They’ve got some bigger fish to fry than me.”

...rat bastards. My Brewers low went even lower after reading that. There's still hope. As long as he doesn't get traded to the Cubs or the Phillies, cuz they are on the list of teams to hate right now, I can live with that.

It'll just be a little difficult following, especially if it's an AL team or a team out of the NL central. Thank whatever's holy for the internet.

Anyway. nothing really going on. Spent some time figuring out what classes I have to take next semester. 3 I have to take but I need a fourth so I get enough credits to graduate. But perhaps I'll tack on a fifth. I'm thinking of doing something fun...as fun as a class can be that is. I was looking through the course catalog to see what tweaks my interest. I'm thinking perhaps introduction to contemporary dance, the bible as literature or kickboxing. Well, not really but there are those classes to take. Oh I don't know what I wanna do. One of my classes will be web-based next semester thankfully cuz do I really wanna sit through a class about, like, comparative politics in Asia? Can't say that I do.

Alright that's it. I got some stuff to do. Adíos. Oh I could take a foreign language! Wait no. I want an easy last semester.

What stage is this?

So I'm pissed off.

Could it be one of the stages of grief I'm going through over the Brewers?

Oh no. I'm still in the denial stage. Well actually, I don't know the stages in order so I pick and choose as I go. Anyway. I'm pissed because this one chick is putting me in a bind. She knew I was calling tonight to interview her, she gave me her number and was like yah after 845 call. So I have. Twice. And she is pissing me off beyond everything else because I need the story to get done. Ah! Piss. Why don't you answer your foooooooooking phone?! YOU KNOW I AM CALLING! I LEFT A VOICEMAIL!

Gah!

Anyway. So my favorite family to hate, the Duggars, had a show on TLC tonight (which I didn't watch cuz I was waiting for this girl to CALL ME BACK) Briana did and she filled me in on the deets. I guess the oldest Duggar child, you know the one with a J name? Oh wait, they all have J names! Proposed and him and the future poor soul who is gonna have twenty six million babies storm from her turnstile (stole that from lyrics of a Death Cab for Cutie song...) are not going to have their first kiss until they get married.

Um, what? Seriously? You aren't gonna plant one on her until you say "I do" yet your gonna screw her so you end up with a billion kids too? Classy! Seriously though. Why not kiss? I can respect the not doing it until marriage if that's your thing but kissing?! Really! Perhaps oldest Duggar is afraid he is like his daddy, he won't be able to stop himself.

RING PHONE! RING!

I saw this commercial for a new TV show on Discovery and the concept of it is so simple. I have the feeling that I must watch it. "Time Warp." It's basically a show about things in super slow motion like xmo or whatever that's called. That's it! A show dedicated to things in slow motion! I LOVE IT! I must watch. Also I like the name of the show "Prototype This!" It sounds so edgy like suck this! I like it! Oh and Dirty Jobs starts again tomorrow! Weeeeeeee! Oh wait I have class...booooooo. Meh. I'll tape it. Oh wait some one is borrowing my tape. I better get it back tomorrow!

I was watching a show on discovery today about torture tools. It was kind of interesting. One thing was this statue like deallyo that looks all nice and inviting and then wham bambo! You go to hug it (cuz who doesn't hug statues? or I guess your forced into its embrace...) and boom! The arms clamp against you and drive bronze stakes into you. Nice no? There was also some stuff on torture wheels but I missed most of that. Then the cross, naturally. Quite the effective death machine. And cruel! The creepy torture expert, who ironically was a professor of religion, said the cross is superbad cuz when they drive the stakes into the ankles then the person can kind of get the relief off the hands. But then the diaphragm is stretched out or some shit so its hard to breath so when the person goes to de-stretch, gravity gets ya and boom, horrendous pain. Ah gravity. It'll get you every time.

Diaphragm is a weird word. A silent g. How strange. It's like silent p's. Why must I spell pneumonia with a p when it serves no purpose? I guess it might but just looking at it, really? I don't recall ever learning the pn sound.

ok so...moving on.

Man. My daily routine is just thrown off with the end of the Brewers season. Nothing new on JSOnline to keep me satisfied or Brewers.com. Two websites that occupied much of my time and my morning routine. Check email, check other email, check facebook, go on jsonline, go on brewers.com, go on cnn, check blogs. I will have to find something else to fill my time again. I just don't recall what I did last year at this time! The baseball season is so long I just get used to it being there. It's like swimming with a life vest, I depend on it. Then you take it away and I'm thrown for a loop. I can swim good enough to keep afloat a while but it's nice having that vest.

Right.

RING!

...no luck. Why say you'll be free when you're clearly ignoring me? Just making yourself look bad and me. Which is what I care about more. I could care less about how she looks.

Ok I'm out.

Hello darkness my old friend...

But...but...but....but....

whhhhhhhhhhy?! Why did you have to lose Milwaukee? WHY?! Damn you Jeff Suppan. Damn you and your home runs you give up! DAMN YOU!

The crowd and the momentum was on the Brewers side but nooooooooooo, Jeff Suppan had to suck ass.

He can go sit on the bench next to Rickie Weeks. And take CC Sabathia too to the loser end of the bench. Clear some room for Billy Hall as well. They all need to sit there and think about how much they ruined the playoffs for the Brewers. I could get worked up in the woulda, coulda, shouldas and weighed down in the ifs and buts. I won't. I'll just say this. I need to close the shades, curl up in the fetal position and weep for the next two weeks.

I thought seasonal depression was supposed to come with winter not the end of the Brewers season.

Yesterday I was high as a kite with excitement and now I need to be scrapped up off the floor with a spatula.

And damn you Dale Sveum. Why why WHY WHY WHY! Did you take Counsell out? Hmm? I NEED ANSWERS! That better not have been his last game in a Brewers uniform. If it was then my depression just reached a new low.

I told Briana a few days ago that if the Brewers lose then we should go to a grief management group at the health center. The more I think about it, the more it seems like a good idea.

I'm just...why? Things were looking so good! Things seemed to be breaking their way! A win in the final game of the season to get in the playoffs! A win yesterday. They were channeling '82! Robin Yount was back in a Brewers uniform! The God of Milwaukee baseball was home again! The only difference was going to be the '08 Brewers were gonna win the World Series. But no. Instead they lose. Like a bunch of...losers!

I tell ya. Getting my heart ripped out and stepped on by 25 men in a single afternoon is just brutal.

There is next year, that's for sure but there are so many uncertainties about next year. The pitching staff, the coaching staff and most importantly -yes that old song and dance- WILL MY CRAIG COUNSELL BE BACK?!

I have to go now. This thinking about it is making my heart ache even more. It's fitting it's a rainy, cool day. It's like the world just senses the pain I'm drowning in. I'd drown my pain in alcohol but I can't. I have to go to Fort soon.

Just looking at my walls with their pictures of Brewers brings me down. I need to change my wallpaper on my computer from the ball and glove logo to something else because it mocks me. Though I have been shaking Billy Hall quite violently and that's providing a little satisfaction.

Alright. The one silver lining to this all is Brewers fans has one up on Cubs fans. We didn't get swept.

Suck it Chicago. SUCK IT!

And PHUCK YOU PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES!

Ah, ah, ah, ah stayin' alive! Stayin' alive!

Editors note: In light of the recent loss of the Milwaukee Brewers at the hands of the phucking Philadelphia Phillies, this blog entry will be channeling the events of last night so no depression and/or thoughts of sweet sorrow will be displayed. That will be saved for the next one. shit.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

The Brewers won! Woot woot! And I was there to see the magic! Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Oh the game was a blast! Brewers got all over Philly right away and stayed that way. Rickie Weeks got hurt early in the game, which is good cuz he sucks more then a ho, and that meant Craig Counsell came in! That was amazing, not gonna lie.

I hate you Rickie Weeks! I HATE YOU!

Sorry. I can't help myself. It's like he has puddy for hands. He can't catch anything. You could probably walk over, place the ball in his glove and he'd still drop it. He is that big of a loser.

But my man is Mr Cool. He can turn double plays even while getting mowed down by Shane Victorino. Ya that's right Shane. You try that shit again and you'll see what happens! But the Phillies got it on that play. A run had scored but uh uh. Since it was interference against Counsell the runners had to go back which meant no run scored. Mwahaha!

Not gonna lie. As it was all going down I didn't know what the hell was happening. The downside to not watching on TV.

I think pictures do it justice more so here. Three albums from the game for you to see.

The first playoff win at Miller Park

So what if I like Craig Counsell...

The Final Chapter: NLDS Game 3

Yes, I get picture happy. So what. Who knows when this will happen again? It was 26 years last time.

Oh the excitement of yesterday was better then being drunk! Which I wasn't thank you. It was decided this was a game to be remembered so no excessive drinking. I did have a pina colada while at the game though. Mmmmmmmm. It was deeeeeeeelic!

And no one claimed the seat right next to me so after a few innings Briana came and sat by me. Though the people to my right were kind of lame. I was the second seat from the end of the row so the old man sat in the seat right at the end which was awkward. Then I got up to take a piss and when I came back his wife was in the seat right next to me! So I had to squeeze in there. I was like what the hell people. You have four seats, the other two you're with aren't here right now so go sit in those ones and stop crowding me! Then they left so I told Briana to come over. And she did and the old guy came back and didn't look happy about having to sit in his seat. Oh! And when they came at first he totally said I was in their seat and I was like bitch please. I think you're wrong.

Anyway. Their irked me some because none of them would stand up! Like when Bush had a guy in a 2-2 count and the crowd was on their feet, they sat. I wanted to shake them and scream GET UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPP! It's a FREAKING playoff game! but I didn't. And the old lady was wearing red, the Phillies color. What the hell?

Ok. Well that's it.

Attention, Attention

I have a very important announcement to make...

Cannonbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllll!

No, no that isn't the urgent news. The urgent news is, can I get a drum roll for this, the urgent news is at 5 pm central time on October 3 I became the proud owner of a playoff ticket for the National League Division Series at Miller Park tomorrow.

That's right bitches and ho's I AM GOING! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

How did I get my grimies on one? Sexual favors. I rolled up my sleeves and did what I had to do.
Or I could've spent twenty minutes sitting at my computer clicking and refreshing waiting for the moment when I was let in to get one. and then it happened. And then I came damn close to peeing myself. Then about 20 minutes later my roomate, who was double fisiting computers by using mine and hers, got in and bought one. And then I came even more close to pissing myself over that.

Guess how much they cost? Nope, I get to keep my arms and legs. 30 bucks. THIRTY DOLLA! Sure you're getting screwed on parking but grand total I'm gonna have to pony up 40 bucks to the Brewers to see this game. Hellz yes. Hellz freaking fraking YES!

Oh man. I'm so exicted! I just can't hid it! I'm gonna lose control and I think I like it! ...ok I don't know if that's how the song goes.

It just puts a big ol' smile on my face thinking about it! Ahhhhhhhhhh! I'M GOING!

deep breaths katie...deep breaths.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm just so happy!

Ok. Now I have a different priority to handle, like going upstairs and knocking the shit out of tubby because he is being do fucking loud.

No katie! No! If I do that I might jeopardize my playoff ticket if I'm cuffed and stuffed.

Oh you fat piece of shit, though I don't know if he's really fat, I some day will think of a way to annoy you. Get shoes that let me walk on the ceiling or something.

Blast!

Dangit! Brewers lost yesterday. Fook.

It's alright. They got CC on the mound tonight and he is one bad mofo. And by bad mofo I mean he is outstanding! They got these next three games. For sure.

So I really want a Craig Counsell bobblehead. And not just any bobblehead I want this one. Depicting the winning run of the '97 World Series. I should get my mom to buy it for me! It'd be fun! Then I'd have a better one then Bill Hall. And bobbleheads are just fun all together. The slow nod of their head's continuously as I type. Yes Billy, oh yes. Shake your head. And when Billy does bad, I get to take him off his shelf and shake him like a Polaroid picture. Shake some sense into him! And then his head makes a cool noise.

...Right.

Hey here's a question. How did the Chicago White Sox become the bastard child of Chicago? What the hell? Both the Sox and the Cubs have been in the city for pretty much the same time and both teams suck. Except the White Sox who won a World Series in '05. The Cubs have been waiting for the past 100 years. Yet the White Sox seem to be the red headed stepchild of the City. I get there's some North side vs South side stuff but really. It seems like the Cubs get all the lovin' when the Sox have been better as of late. Oh that's right. The Cubs are owned by the Tribune, so they get the media love no matter what.

Also, here's another question. Am I the only person who thinks Senator Herb Kohl looks a little bit like Mr Burns from the Simpsons? Yes? Alright.

Since I'm on a role one more thing...Those fancy bathtubs with doors. The ones meant for older people and are always on infomercials. Here's my thing about them. They seem all fine and good but what about when it's time to get out? You gotta sit there while the water drains and then freeze your ass off. Anybody who's sat in a bathtub while it drains knows that it gets freaking cold as the water recedes. So the old person has to sit there as the water drains completely before they can open their fancy little door. Now I know my grandma and that lady is cold on an 75 degree day. I can't imagine her sitting in a bathtub (eww! eww! I don't wanna imagine that) waiting for the water to go down. Does it have supersonic drains? The water gets sucked down in record time? Sure you could plan ahead and put a towel right there but still you gotta wait until it's past your ass before that'll do you any good. But thinking about it some more I don't think your completely submerged in those things either. Burr! and how do you wash your hair? And why not take a shower instead? I'd rather get the grip slip handle that adheres to any surface and makes getting out of the tub easier! then one of those bathtubs.

Alright I'm done. Enough weird as musing for now.

I need to get my stalk on

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

So I went to the Brewers' rally yesterday at the Summerfest grounds with some people and I was like 5 feet from the stage. Which ment when the players came out and went up to talk I was five feet from the players!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Here's a picture from Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. Ryan Braun is signing some autographs (and no, I didn't get any *le sigh*) and I'm in it as well!

Hehe! Amazing! But I am PISSED! PISSED I SAY! I left my beloved Craig Counsell shirt at home and it would have been the perfect opportunity to get it autographed because he was RIGHT FREAKIN' THERE! Damnit! I'm just overall disturbed that I forgot it. Seriously? How the hell could I do that?

If you'd like to see for yourself here is a link to the album on facebook. I took more pictures but those are the cream of the crop.

I also broke down and bought an NL Wild Card tshirt at a semi-"we have you here and are caught up in the moment so we're gonna screw you with your pants on" price. It's ok though. There's logic behind it. 1) I want it for the series and don't know when I'd be able to go buy one before it starts and 2) The money I ponied up is money I'll save on gas! ok so I wouldn't spend 7 extra bucks on gas but that's ok. I gotta buy it when I can. I am not waiting 26 years for another chance!

Look at its beauty!

ok freaks and geeks I'm out. Remember, 2 p.m. central time tomorrow on TBS Brewers @ Phillies! Watch it and root for Milwaukee. But if they start to suck and you don't normally watch the games, please stop watching. That's all I ask.

Peace!

Crazy Hallmark

... get it? Wild Card...crazy Hallmark? Ahahahahaha! Oh I'm lame.

Anyway, I'm more in a state of mind where I can type with out going nutso.

...

Well, I'll try.

They have done it! It comes down to the last friggin' game of the season but oh have they done it! My boys! The Brew Crew came through!

CC ya in the playoffs!

Do you Brew-lieve?

It definitely was a game in which I should have probably popped a Tums or twenty five. It was by no means a blow out or a guarantee win. It took my man, Mr Counsell, to draw a walk with the bases loaded to tie the game at 1-1. Then it took a two run home run by Ryan Braun in the 8th to put the Brewers ahead 3-1. And CC Sabathia pitched the entire game on three days rest too.

I was a nervous nelly through the whole game. When it got to be the 5th or 6th inning I had to watch in my room so I could distract myself by doing homework because I could just feel my stomach lining wearing thin. It's crazy how the fate of 25 men affects me so. And it's nice not getting my heart broken by them for once.

Ah! I can't believe it! Yes a few post ago I was saying their playoff hopes had died a slow and painful death. Yes I was being pessimistic on the outlook of the season. But you know what that's called? That's called tough love. Yeah.

I subscribe to the school of tough love and my boys needed some. That right Bill Hall bobblehead on my desk, you shake your head in agreement with me because you know it's true! It paid off didn't it? Yes it did. After the win Friday night I wanted nothing more then to be like 'Ahhhhhhhhhh! They could have this thing wrapped up by tomorrow! Ahhhhh!' but I didn't cuz I knew things could go wrong, and they did. Even after they won today and the Mets were losing 4-2 I didn't go buck wild, I just went wild, until that final out was recorded. Then I jumped up and down and threw my cup. I contemplated giving myself a beer shower but a few things stopped me. 1) I would have to clean it up. 2) That's a waste of perfectly good beer and where I come from you don't do that and 3) that would be really, really weird. Alright I lied. I never thought about giving myself a beer shower until now. And that's cuz I might be drinking one in celebration!

Speaking of celebration I'm gonna be a super fan and go to the rally tomorrow in Milwaukee for the Brewers. I hope I win some free shit! I hope I get to see my favorite! And there are fireworks! woo! Kick ass sea bass!

Ok enough of this. I must do some other things.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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OH MY FUCKING GOD THE BREWERS HAVE MADE THE PLAYOFFS!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...I will blog more about it later. At the moment I'm too busy being hocked up on excitment!


FUCK YES MILWAUKEE!!!

FUCK YES!

Slammin'

Man almighty do my boys know how to win in style!

Not only do they win in the bottom of the ninth, oh no. Not only do they win off a home run, that was so two nights ago. They win off of a walk-off grand slam. Yeah. That's right. They easily could have won on a bloop single to center, a shot down the third base line.

No, no. Not my guys. A Grand ol' fucking Slam with two outs and two strikes on Mr Ryan Braun. Then pow! Outta here!


Braunie is worth his multimillion dollar contract.


And he is also worth looking at.

I could wash my clothes on those abs! Wheeeeew-weeee! I could set up camp on there! I like this untucking of the shirts after a win more and more.

Oh sorry. I just got lost looking. I won't share what I'm picturing in my head right now, not exactly PG. But not X either. More R then anything.

I just wanna poke each one. Boop! (and no, that's not the scene unfolding in my head)

Though to be honest I'm not a huge fan of a chiseled tummy. Sure it's nice but after a little while I think it looks unnatural. A little flab is fine by me. Plus my preferential torso exposure is when a dude wears like a button down shirt not buttoned up all the way and there's a hint of yummy. Dude boobs sure aren't a turn on but the whole package, from neck to naval, is nice.

Well that was weird.

What are these labels for posts? Is that when a link thing goes at the bottom of the page? Perhaps I'll try.

Alright. I'm outtie, but not like Ryan Braun's belly button.

...it does put a link there. Hmm.

Oh get me to the church...er...back yard in time!

Hey hos and foes what's happening?

The big ol' back yard wedding this weekend went off without a hitch. Except the part were Tyler and Tori got hitched! Ahaha!

...wow am I lame today.

Seriously though, it was perfect. Tori was beautiful in her dress and Tyler looked like a moron in a tux! I kid, I kid. The boy can clean up. The weather was outstanding, sunny skies and it was warm. If anything a little too warm but better that then cold.

I must say, I was surprised my mother didn't blow a fuse or seven. Though she was a bit snippy to me in the morning but not nearly as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Everybody was calm and collected, just ready to roll.

To be honest I don't have an audio memory of the ceremony. Visually it is there but what they were saying um...yeah. Not so sure. I was scampering about snapping off dozens upon dozens of pictures, plowing into people in the process. I should get a review mirror for the camera cuz I'd be backing up to get a shot and whoops! Sorry lady! Or whoops! Hello inadament object!

I think the memory card in the camera had a capacity of 500 pictures and when it was all over and done with I had something like 30 left to take. Ahehe. So I have an itchy trigger finger! But there are some that can be deleted for sure. More is better in a situation such as that.

Why am I listening to 'N Sync?

Oh! Speaking of sync-ing, I spent over an hour Friday night getting the playlist the way I wanted it for the reception and I think about three songs when in order. All that work for nothing! Except for during the process I did have one of biggest neck cracking in recent memory followed with a back cracking which felt fantastic! That was a slight perk in an otherwise frustrating hour. ITunes was being a bitch and driving me nuts. Plus it was 11 p.m. and I was tired.

Yesterday was the Cheese Days Parade and I finally got fresh from the fat cheese curds! FINALLY!

But holy crap is that parade long! Seriously. I was ready to go after the New Glarus Ladder Company. I love those guys! The perk to every parade, watching the dude climb up the ladder. Oh and the racing sausages were there! Yay! Go Brewers! I also got my first experience of scraping candy out of a child's mouth. Yes that was fun. Abag also got to share in the festivities. Austin was eating a tootsie roll when it got stuck in his teeth and on the roof of his mouth so Ashley dug it out. Then a while later he walked over to her and opened his mouth, lo and behold another tootsie roll was plastered up there. Since she was holding a dog Ashley thought it was wise not to stick her finger in his mouth he turned to me to get it out. Yummy. Then he started to bite me a little, the punk. But he is so damn cute so all is forgiven.

After the cheesey afternoon I had to go to the newspaper on the way back to WW to submit my article. It was probably 730-ish when I got there. No one was there so I was sitting there tippity typing away when the police scanner or something started to talk and wow. It scared the crap out of me. I was already a little on edge because it felt like I shouldn't be there and then that thing started talking. It was so strange sitting there all alone in the semi-darkness, don't know why. Just one of those things.

Alright. Time to do something productive.

see ya home slices.

Wait, what?!

Holy shit my brother is getting married in two freakin' days. What?!

I know it really isn't out of the blue (well it sort of is) but it's just like "um what?" I still find it a little weird. Not as weird as thinking in a few months he's gonna be a daddy! Holy fuck buckets people! Holy fuck buckets. You know, that's when I realized we weren't kids any more. Well I guess I've known for a while we aren't kids but that, the call, is when it really sunk in that things are gonna be different.

Anyway two days! TWO DAYS! And I have so much to do! Well, maybe not a lot of things to do but I view my tasks as important. First off I have to sync the music. Much like I did for the playlists for the trip to Nashville and DC, I must go through the reception playlist and make sure there is beautiful transitions between each song, that the flow of music is smooth and to put it simply quite amazing. My goal is that it will be so beautifully done that no one will even notice it. Yes. I'm like a Navy SEAL, if I my job right you won't even know it happened. I also have to sync up the Dinner Mints playlist. The music that will be playing during dinner, duh. But calling it dinner mints pains me a little. If I am to understand it correctly, there will be NO dinner mints at the wedding. I'm sorry but that alone makes me think of boycotting it. It is not a backyard function without dinner mints god damnit! Graduation parties, dinner mints! I need DINNER MINTS! I had great plans of getting sick off of a belly full of beer and dinner mints being sloshed together by sporadic dance movements. Now that's not gonna happen. Though perhaps I'll by a bag, hide them in the woods somewhere, and slip 'em in under the radar.

My other big task is to learn the ins and outs of the new camera I'm going to be using for the pictures. That's right ladies and gents, I am the official wedding photographer a thank ya. My 'rents went out and bought a digital SLR for me to use so I gotta figure out how that beast is gonna work. Should be straight forward, just like my regular SLR only no film. I'm totally gonna look the part too. I plan on having three cameras. Yes three! My film SLR, digital SLR and my digital point and shoot. Yeah that's right. Total paparazzi!

One thing I am feeling sad about this weekend is I won't be able to get my groove on in the beer tent at Cheese Days Friday night. Le sigh. I have to cover a football game so I won't be able to be there. It's ok though. I will be going to the parade on Sunday so I will get me so cheese curds for once! I haven't had Green County cheese curds in YEARS! That isn't even an overstatement. I didn't go to the last Cheese Days (gasp!) and I don't know when I went to the fair last. Maybe two years ago. So I haven't had fresh from the fat fryer cheese curds in way to long.

Alright I have to go. Must go get some stuff straighted out in regards to school.

Keep on keeping on!

A Picture is Worth 1000 Words

In light of the recent dismissal of Brewers manager Ned Yost, I have compiled some photographs to illustrate how the season has unfolded. Sit back and enjoy what I call "Progression of the Inevitable"

Spring Training started out all smiles for Milwaukee.

The players were happy and optimistic at the year ahead; much like the original CC here.

Sure the season started out slower then they would have liked but things took off in the month of May.

Oh, but things started to go wrong.

With poor player performances ensuing and a manager sticking with his guys, the call for Yost to be toast started.

Oh but a sweet August was upon us! The Brewers had one of the best records in the National League for the month!

But the wicked winds of September started to blow. And so did the Brewers. To fans the lyrics of a Green Day song were on the mind. "Wake me up when September ends." Oh how Ned Yost must have felt the same.

Finally after watching their playoff hopes die a painful death in Philadelphia, the powers that be decided to pull the plug on Yost. (Yes I know it's a repeat picture!)

And so with 12, almost 11, games left of the season and the Brewers are in a perilous position. At times they danced upon the throne of the central, then the wild card. Now they are tripping all over themselves as another season blows up in the final stretch.

...alright that was a little lame.