waszat?

So I think Addisyn knows her first phrase.

Well, she might think it's only a single word cause of how we say and how she says it but still! The babe knows how to talk!

I think she says ma and da-I guess she's Irish or something- cause she'll say if fairly regularly and when she hears Tyler in the kitchen or something she'll start to say Da Da!

But back to the phrase. My mutha, sister and me think she says "What's that?" Only its in a whisper, runs together and sounds really cute like "waszat?" The key to this all is she says it while looking or pointing at something.

On Christmas AB said she was holding Adds and she was almost asleep when she saw this sea shell hanging thing in my grandparents basement, woke up some and said "Waszat?!"

Yesterday I was holding her and she was pointing at the window so I walked over there with her and she said while still pointing "Waszat?" So I told her a window! And she looked at me like Oooh. And then I said back to her waszat? And she said it back to me.

See. I think she's getting smart that there child. If she said it while doing something random when it wouldn't make sense then I wouldn't think much of it. But since she says it when looking at something, I think that girl knows what she's talking about!

Which makes me sad. Because I was doing some photoshop on pictures yesterday and was going through my massive Addisyn folder and was Awwing over her pictures of when she was a week old. My word has she grown! Just look!
That little snuggly baby has turned into this little miss thang in 10 months.

Seriously!

Though she still is pretty snuggly so no complaints there!

And what a good girl! She's not amused by Jeff Suppan!

Pictures

Hey punks!

Just a reminder that you should reaaaaallllly look at my other website.

www.doubleclutchphoto.blogspot.com

DO IT.

NOW.

...please?

First Christmas

So it was Adds first Christmas today. I think she enjoyed it. Once she opened up my present to her-a toy blender, naturally- all she wanted to do was play with it. Damn do I choose good gifts!

Here look at the babes on her first Christmas. She decided her stack of presents wasn't nearly as interesting as mine so she had to crawl over and have at it.
Can you tell she just woke up? She's got some sleepy eyes!

Then there's this one. Marking up the windows was so much more fun then watching other people open presents!
My goodness is she getting so big! One of these days soon she'll be motoring all on her lonesome!

Hope everyone had a fabu xmas!

That's what you get!

Now I know I've said it before and I will continue to say it: Don't piss off your cashier.

It's really some simple advice that some people refuse to heed and therefore might be paying for it without knowing it.

Case in point. Today at work it was busy. Which isn't normally the case in the early afternoon but there's this holiday coming up soon, I don't know if you've heard of it, it's called Christmas. This throws everything off. It's busier then usual at odd times. And as a business that runs on a whole lot of cheap labor, ie high schoolers, there isn't a whole stash of people who can work during the days.

Anyway. Back on track. Let me set the scene. It was about 1230-ish and it was busy. I had a bad bagger, one of those who is really slow and doesn't have all the lights on upstairs, and this woman has the audacity to tell me she's in a hurry. It wasn't even her turn. I was helping bag the order of the person before her. That is a big fat no-no people. Do not tell me you are in a hurry. Why? Because I'm sorry, it is not my fault that you chose to come to the store when you were on a time frame which is one of the stupidest things to do. The store is unpredictable. We can't go at warp speed. And if you bitch then that makes me go slower.

So I looked at the woman and just said in a I don't give a crap tone "Well...?" and shrugged. I finished with the other order and started hers. She had some meat and one of them was really juicy. It leaked all over my register, making it nasty. Under normal circumstances I would take the time to put that piece of meat in it's own bag and then clean up the mess but this woman you have to remember, she was in a hurry. So I didn't clean it up. And yes. I did proceed to drag all her food through the puddle of meat juice.

That's what you get!

So remember kind people. Do not piss off your cashier. We will get you back in some way without you knowing it.

Another fan favorite? Pack your bag so it looks the like eggs will be safe but then oops...they might slip and break on the way home. It's tricky and you can't always bank on it happening but just knowing that the possibility is there makes it worth it.

Is it mean? Yes. It is wrong? Depends on who you talk to. Why do I do it? Because would someone please tell me any other job outside of retail or food service where it is almost acceptable to be mega bitches to the people working there. Do people bitch out accountants? No.

OH! Another one that I like. If you've made me mad and lets say you put your red peppers in the same bag as your green peppers, guess what? I'm not separating the two. And guess what? I'm charging you for the most expensive one. Suck on that dill hole.

O Happy Day!

Hooray!

The Brewers resigned Craig Counsell! There's no need to kick him or Doug Melvin in the shins anymore!

Yaaaaaaaay!
I know the picture isn't of the best quality but I like the legs.

Can you hear that?

Can you hear that?

That sound right there.

Yeah. That one that sounds like a mixture of agonizing screams and gut wrenching cries.

What is it? Oh, nothing important. Just my spirit dying.

Wonderful isn't it? Who needed it in the first place? Who need something that gives you hope and dreams. Ambition. Feeling.

So long spirit. It was nice knowing you. We had a good 22 year run. But I guess I'm destined, like the vast majority of people, to live their life in a meaningless mannor doing a job that they hate.

No, no. If you're wondering it wasn't the job fair that killed it. Just my parents.

Silly me for thinking that they might be supportive. Silly me. Sure what I applied for lacks glitz and glamor. Or I guess what I should really say lacks money since that's the only thing that matters of course. No. Not me trying to do something that I could potentially love. Nah. It's all about the Benjamins.

If that's the case I wonder how they'd feel if I took to the streets. I hear the money can be good.

I probably shouldn't post this but I don't care.

Count down

Holy shizz. How is it December first? I mean, seriously. How? HOW!

Christmas is coming up fast. Number of presents bought? Um, none. Weeeellll. There's halvsie ones but yeah. Last year I got all my presents done in an hour at Target. Classy I know. I have a feeling that might be the same route again this year.

OhMiGosh! Ileaveforthejobfairinafewshortdayssssssss!

Can you tell I'm excited? I'm super excited. I want nothing more then to land a job even if it ends up being the backwoods of some God forsaken state. I went shopping for some more grown-up clothes and damn. Do I look good it what I bought let me tell you. But I might be an impartial judge. Downside? The two skirts go over my bellybutton. Yuuuuck. But I can work it.

On another note...sometimes I really want to punch the people who get $100 cash back on debit in the neck. I'm sorry. We aren't a bank. Sure it isn't bitching as the day goes on but more often than not, it's a bit of pain. More now then ever since it seems eeevvveryone gets cash that way. When people give me the look like "really? You're giving me fives and tens?" is when I want to initiate the punch-in-the-neck sequence. It's money numbnuts. Take it.

Whatever happened to people going to banks? Everyone does direct deposits, online banking and crap. Hell, freaking ATM's are almost becoming obsolete. Everyone does the cash back. I wish when I didn't have the money I could tell people that nope sorry. Can't get your money. Go the the ATM or better yet the bank. I'll admit, I get cash back on debit once in a while but the vast majority of the time I get my cash when I take my check to the teller personally (I don't do drive-up) and cash it.

End Rant.

Ok. On that delightful note have a good night.

Not alone

Look! I'm not the only one who thinks too much about Tim Lincecum's hair!

Hilar if you ask me.

Here's what I'm gonna do...

Ever since Tim Lincecum won the Cy Young again on this week, I have become obsessed with his hair. And with just cause! It is ridiculous! Look, if a dude wants long hair then whatever. So be it. But with the conditions of you have got to make it look good. And he doesn't! It isn't horrible, it could be worse. It looks like the boy is using conditioner but it still is...ugh.

Here, look for yourself so you can see what I'm talking about.

Ok good. Now we've all got the visual. I think maybe he needs to run a comb through it a little more, add some shape or volume to it. Some layers. Something. He could make that work better. Also perhaps shearing off two or three inches would do wonders as well.

Anyway. So what's the point? The point is I've come up with all sorts of things I'd like to do to it. In no particular order here is my list.

Things I want to Do to Tim Lincecum's Hair
-Braid it.
-Comb it.
-Pull it.
-Cut it while he sleeps. (Difficultly level on this one is high)
-Color it. I'm thinking some ballsy highlights like bright red.
-Put it up in a bun with chopsticks.
-Brush it over his face and make him walk around like Cousin It.
-Put pigtails in it like Abby from NCIS.
-Shave it all off and give it to Locks of Love.
-Curl it. Or maybe do a perm.
-Search it for split ends like I do to my own hair when I'm bored and then break them off.
-Blow dry it.
-Make it into a mullet.

...I never said the list was gonna be normal.

And I also got to thinking what he could do now since he grew it out. Like he'd be the perfect young Snape for the Harry Potter movies! Who cares if they already got one? If they make a movie of his life, Joesph Gordon-Levitt could grow his hair back out like from the Third Rock days and play him!

Yeah that was weird. I know.

PSA II

And now it's time for my second PSA. You know, my first one was about the importance of talking to your kids about cooties.

This second one is geared towards the older generation. I like to call it how to explain the internet to someone born during or before the Great Depression. ...Ok so it needs a better title.

I came up with my little PSA a while ago when discussing the internet with my sister and my grandma's complete lack of comprehension of it. She has a problem understanding that you can check your email on more then one computer. And this is what I came up with.

Think of the internet as a mall. Like a mall, the internet offers you variety that you can't find elsewhere. It has everything that you could possibly want.

Now, think of the computer as the entrances to the mall. You can access all of what the mall/internet has to offer regardless if you use the food court entrance or the Sears one.

And yes. My analogy did work. I think she now knows that if she checks her email on one computer and then wants to look at the same email on another, it will still be there.

And yes. I have too much time on my hands.

Taking a Stand

I've decided.

When I work next I will ask where all the Hanukkah decorations are.

I mean sure I'm not Jewish but somebody has got to look out for them! Haven't they been persecuted enough? Now they have to go to the store and see Christmas decorations all over? I saw we slap a few Star of David's on up and a couple of Menorahs. Bring a little eight crazy nights into our Christian world!

I should say something. But then they'd ask if I were Jewish and that could be awkward. "Nooo, no I'm not but, uh, I don't mind the Jews." and then I'll turn it on them like this "...unlike here which appears to be very Anti-Semitic! Have you no shame?!"

Ok so that might be a little much.

But I might say something about the decorations. Why haven't I in the past? Well, I don't know. Probably because in the past they haven't decorated with stockings.

And here's another random thing...

I was at Target the other day and was in the baby toy aisle. I was playing with all the toys because why not and I got to thinking, why can't they make toys for people my age that are both fun and educational?

Sure we have the internet and our computers but that is so not the same as a blender that sings and teaches you shapes, fruits and colors. (Yeah, I bought that for my niece for Christmas...she's gotta learn how to make the margs sooner then later) Why can't they make some sweet toy that instead of teaching me what a square is, it could have taught me the elements of libel? Or under what situations can a public meeting go into closed session? That would have made learning that crap so much easier. Especially if it has some badass song that would get stuck in my head. As it is right now whenever little Miss Thang is up and playing with her toys I end up with the songs stuck in my head for a week. Imagin what that could have done to my GPA! I could graduated Summa Cum Laude instead of Cum Laude. (Which I'm still bitter about. I looking at you Kates. YOU should have rounded up my 89.6 to a 90 and I would have graduated Magna!) Anyway. I should find a way to harness the amazingness of baby toys into a more suitable, college aged toy. Instead of songs all to bingo or Old MacDonald, I could do contemporary songs! Though falling back on the goodies would probably make retention easier...

Oh the possibilites!

That's kind of personal....

Check out this headline from one of the newspapers in the area:


Seriously. I burst out laughing when I read that. And then I showed it to a few other people and they had the same reaction.

Motoring! What's your price for flight?

Look at little Miss Thang growing up!

No longer army crawling all over the place and able to pull herself up. My my is my little puddin' growing up so fast!

A long journey

How did you get there little fella?
Giant.

That is all.

Odd Combination

I think I used a sentence yesterday that most likely has never been uttered. It was more a description if you wanna get technical but whatever.

We got a package of UNC (up north crap) yesterday. I was attempting to describe a blanket that came in it to my mom over the phone. I thought it was supposed to be a comforter because I didn't know they had ordered a blanket and anyway it went something like this.

Mom-It's gray right?
Me-Gray? No...it's tan.
Mom-What?! Did they send us the wrong thing?! It's supposed to be gray.
Me-(reading the package slip) Yeah I don't know. It doesn't say on here.
Mom-What does it have on it?
Me-It's got, you know, some bears and some pine trees in a line. Then its got a little Native American -like pattern going on. It's very Rastafarian/up north.
Mom-What?
Me-Cause the stripe is red, yellow and green.
Mom-Its got stripes?!
Me-No its got a row of bears then a row of the Native American pattern.
Mom-Oooh that's the blanket.

So the description that I don't think has ever been used is Rastafarian/Up North.

Jamaica and the North woods. Not really two you'd put together.

(Is it weird that while typing North woods I A) remembered when we first went up and I asked where they were....I thought it was a single forest and B) I know have an urge to read Little House in the Big Woods.)

But, if I do say so myself, the description is quite accurate. Don't take my word for it. Here. Look.
And yes *le sigh* that is the decor of the new place. It's like our basement currently except it exploded over a whole house and it's even worse. Some of the stuff is cool but some of it...*shudder*

Oh and just because look what Ashley bought!I told her she now has a crucial component to a Halloween costume. It looks like the lamp from Aladdin!

Breakfast makes me barf.

You do know what me being back at work means don't you?

That's right. Bitch blogs. Working while at school never really brought out the bitch blogs because the people down at PNS were generally a 100 times more likable, tolerable and nice. Here? I already want to pull my hair out. Surprisingly enough it isn't the customers that are the current source of my disdain, its the fellow employees. One in particular. We will call the person in question "Breakfast." Don't ask why.

Breakfast. Ohhhh Breakfast. I hate Breakfast. Both the meal and the person. Breakfast is the thorn in my side, the gum on my shoe.

People at work live in fear of Breakfast. I live to put fear into her. Ok not really. But wouldn't that be awesome?! Seriously though. I might not call it fear but I would call it caution. It's always "oooh Breakfast is in tomorrow, we better make sure this is done" or "Oh Breakfast will complain if you don't do that..."

That alone would not make me have such a loathing feeling towards Breakfast. It's Breakfast's general attitude I do not appreciate. If she was obviously bitchy, you know a yeller or something like that then I could take it. But she isn't. She has the aire of niceness but underneath that there is vile side.

What's her biggest crime? She treats me like I'm stupid. I am not stupid. Especially when it comes to work. I have been a cashier for six years. I know my shit. This lady treats me like I'm some newbie and that is where she went wrong.

I'm really tempted to say sometime "When you talk to me like I'm a moron, that pisses me off and I want to make a scene" and say it in that fakey nice tone she uses.

Do you want examples? Oh, oh have I got examples and the number of times I've worked with her is three.

Dear Breakfast, how have thee scorned me? Let me count the ways. 1. You say things like "do you know what facing is" to me. 2. You ask me if I know how to make my IPM go up. 3. You talk to me like I'm a second grader. 4. Routine tasks that anybody who has been there for a month knows, you give them to me in painful detail.

What really tricked my trigger, what really got my feathers ruffled though was today when I got there the register I was going on needed a new drawer. She had it all ready and in her hand. So I put my hand out to take it. Every other time I have done this the person have given me the drawer since it isn't like you gotta do anything to put it in. Not her. The way she said "I'll take it" made my skin crawl.

Later I did get a little bit of satisfaction when I gave her some appropriate 'tude. I think she is starting to get the hint that while everyone else might ask how high when she say's jump. I'm more likely to give her an eyebrow raise and then walk away.

....right.

In other news...there isn't any. Well I do have a dream to share...might as well do it.

So let me set the scene. There's a hospital that's in the middle of a field. And there's some people there, Detective Flack from CSI NY was there. Anyway I don't remember the details of inside the hospital but then Flack and some other people decided to go out and play some baseball in the field. While playing it this truck comes tearing up the road and starts to drive on the field where the people were playing baseball. So everyone starts to scram and the people get out of the truck and start to scream something about being on the reservation and try to round up the people. Flack and what must have been other of his NYPD friends were like shiiiiit! We're cops and we don't have any guns! So everyone is being round up by the pickup truck people when all the sudden Flack somehow overpowers them. Though I don't think he really overpowered him as much as he just screamed NYPD! STOP! So the pickup people sort of froze and then the other people were able to get free. Guess how the NYPD people restrained the other people? No? Licorice rope. Yeah. They made a shackle out of it and tied it to the people's ankles. And then the people in the licorice rope restraint started to sing and someone yelled at them because there was no singin' in the chain gang.

Yeah. Go ahead and say it. WTF mate. I couldn't even make this shit up. Well I could but I didn't. I don't know where the hell it came from. The licorice rope chain I'll attribute to watching Juno and Flack to the TV show but everything else? Yeeeah....I don't know.

On that note, I should really go to bed.

Olly, olly, oxymoron!

I'm sorry but really?




Wisconsin Tree Lighting in Mooseheart, IL? I find that wrong.

And they've been doing it for 46 years! Wtf mate?

Ninja Turtles vs. Star Wars

So I'm watch the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (heroes in a half shell, turtle power!) and I have never noticed how much it has in common with Star Wars, Darth Vader in particular. It also helps that I did just watch a part of a Star Wars. Which one? Ummm...six? Which really is the third one. Return of the Jedi.

Anyway. Here are the obvious commonalities: They both have creepy voices. They both have messed up faces, Shredders is scratched up from Splinter and Darth Vader has that harmonica thing on his face. They both have told someone they are their father. Darth with Luke, a durs and Shredder told the gang of hooligans that he was their father.

Another common theme? The Force. Now the Force (yes capitalized) in TMNT is nothing like the Force in Star Wars. They can't move shit with their minds but Shredder has talked about it. Or was it Splinter? Or should I say Sppppllllllliiiiinnnntttteeeerrrr per Raphael.

Hehehehe oh this movie. It is just so amazing! And the second one is good as well.

Ok. Honestly. Shredder was talking and he sounds almost exactly like Darth.

Damnit I want to see the footage of when Splinter was still small and he's ninjaing it up in his cage and OH! Here it is! I knew it was coming up.

Oooooohhhh! Little Splinter is so cute!

Shredder. He took the 80's style to a whole new level. As if shoulder pads weren't enough, you add razors to it. The jacket is also very Michael Jackson-esque.

I think I've gone on enough about the Ninja Turtles.

legs and trunks and heads...oh my!

Warning: This picture isn't for the light of heart. It's gory. Here's what happens at the bottom of the Animal Cracker bin. Carnage. Lots and lots of carnage.



Gory but delicious.

How I spent my Friday afternoon...

This is how I spent my Friday. Drawing pictures....of not the best quality.

First we have NASA bombing the moon...and accidentally hitting the American flag.


Then we have a T-Rex eating a caveman.

And then a gun. With a muzzle flash. ...I should stop watching NCIS and CSI....
Exciting, no?

One down, a few to go.

Now they just need to re-sign Craig Counsell.

Oh and yes Trevor should be ashamed of himself for being photographed in a tank top. I'm still a little bitter about him blowing the save Sunday...even though the Brewers did end up winning.

Slow news day

This (partial) unemployment coupled with the fact I do nothing really of substance makes for slow news. I just don't have much to blog about. Sad.

But oh that is about to change people! Well, maybe. See it is official. I am heading back to what I like to call Satan's Earthly Dwelling. No, no. Not school. Work. As in the grocery store. Yes sir or ma'am. I should be back on the schedule next week. Oh joy of joys! Dream of dreams! Not. What are you gonna do about it? Nothing. I'm still working part time doing writing for the locals which is good and the gig I got now (which I'll have for a few months) is going to sweeten me in the eyes of future employers. Hopefully. See it was my belief that those two other internships would have done that but apparently not. Though the economy and the current state of the news business does not help any. Thanks a lot assholes for telling me early on that newspapers were getting screwed! Senior year is a little late for that to be pounded into our heads! It is alright though. Once they figure out how to transition to the web while still making money then it should get better.

So mark your calendars for next week sometime. I'm sure that I'll have something to blog about in regards to the grocery store. I know you're looking forward to it big time.

On a more random note, I haven't posted a picture of my puddin' since she was born! ...I don't think... so here is one of her chilling in the front yard.

Yes, she does have more rolls then a bakery. But she's so damn cute! Except when she bites you. For a kid with only two teeth she sure packs a punch when she puts your hand in her mouth and decides to clamp down. I'll forgive her though. Like I have forgave her for peeing on me. But she will be reminded of that in years to come.

Ciao!

So close that I can taste it!

Ok that sounds a little dirty.

At yesterday's Brewer game, I could have reached out and fondled Manny Parra. With room to spare! He was right there! RIGHT THERE! It was before the game and after warm ups. Manny and Soup were signing autographs so my friend and I went down to see him up close. She is a huge, huge, huge Manny fan. She wanted to get her picture with him so after throwing a few elbows and my tackling a couple of eight year olds, she got a spot on the rail. (Fine. I didn't tackle anyone) And she got her picture with him, a very nice one. And since I was the one who took the picture, I get to say Manny Parra smiled at me.

Look at how close we were!
Ah, if only it was Craigy. ...who am I kidding. I was that close, at an autograph session, and still didn't say a word. I was too nervous! Don't judge me! These are my celebrities!

Another accomplishment of the game? I got Ryan Braun to wave at me. We were sitting in the left field bleachers, first row right by the foul pole in foul territory. This group of girls a little ways away kept screaming at him whenever he took the field and he'd wave at them. All I did was yell something like "Hey Ryan!" and wave and he waved back. That should be a lesson to those teenyboppers. You don't have to be annoying to get recognized!

Look at how close we were to Ryan!
It'd be a better picture if he was catching the ball and not throwing it to fans.

All in all a good couple of game! They won on Friday-I forgot my camera for that one- and then they won on Sunday. Tonight? Let's just not talk about tonight shall we?

Oh another highlight to Sunday's game? We got to see Yo record his 200th strike out of the season and see Prince set the franchise walks record. I can say I've seen history now. That with me being at the only playoff game win in Miller Park history could make good stories for my children some day! Ooooor not.

Well, that's all I got. Peace!

en Vague

Sometimes when I blog I'm vague about certain things. Like identifying things because I have had a previous experience in yonder years. Though I don't think it'd take a genius to figure stuff out. Anyways why all this? Well because of the vagueness it disallows for me to be able to rant about some stuff. Stuff that pisses me off and I want nothing more then to just bitch up a storm. But I won't cause I know better.

So moving on.

Even though I really don't want to.

But I must.

So good news! I saw a dog today! Actually it has been an odd bird type day. First there were some vultures or hawks in the middle of the road feasting on some roadkill. Then I looked out my bedroom window and there was a flock of turkeys! (are turkeys considered a flock? Google says yes so I'll go with it.) The turkeys weren't in our yard but in the one right behind us. I should have tried to catch one so I could make my dream Thanksgiving feast in September! I would have used the Crawl method from "Son in Law." Do that high pitched scream that would induce a coronary in the bird. But then I'd have to bludgeon it with a hammer cause in the movie when they started to pull the feathers the bird woke up.

Yeeeaaaah. I don't think I could kill a bird with a hammer. I'll have to come up with a different plan to catch my turkey. Maybe one of those boxes with the string deals.

On that note I think I should call it a blog.

Here's to your wildest dreams

So I'm having some sleep issues. Half the time I'm losing sleep- and by losing sleep I mean waking up at like 630 and then tossing and turning for the next three hours- because I'm nervous over something or I'm having weird dreams.

My tossing and turning is attributed to anything work related. I'm dreading having to go back to the grocery store. So I have dreams about that already which isn't good. The dreams then lead me to wake up and then panic about having to waste away there. Or I worry about things related to writing. I've now got a bit of a more steady gig, my first real beat! But it is far from full time. I worry about that. Then I worry about other stories I have to do.

It makes me angry. I don't like it when things mess up my sleep!

Then I've been having some weird dreams to boot. Not just the grocery store ones. I think I've only had one or two of those. None of the fan favorite which always seem to come once I start back. I dream that I can never get my lane to close. That people keep coming even after I've told them that I was closed. It drives me nuts. No these dreams are just a compilation of weirdness. First I had one about NCIS. Gibbs and McGee were in it. I think what made it weird was Gibbs was acting very out of character. Then I had one about the Brewers. Which generally is nothing new but it was different then most.

Dreams. Strange things.

Oh and yes. I am no longer talking to Trevor Hoffman. He is in the dog house. In my twisted web of Brewers love affairs, he is sleeping on the couch for the next few nights after what he did.

Annnnnnd scene.

Chow.

Brewers Bonus!

Jeff Suppan is shaking his head at me.

Then it might be because I'm shaking him.

Silly bobbleheads.

I love getting rewards for going to Brewers games! You know, besides seeing the boys. Or men I guess. Though some of them aren't all that much older then me...but some coughcraigycough are. Yikes. Alcides Escobar is only two months older then me! And he has braces! I don't know why that last point is important.

Right.

Here look at my bobblehead and the Manny Parra pin you got for donating school supplies.
My Jeff Suppan has some pit stains. Unintentional ones, but they are there. Also his face looks like it has been clawed up a little bit. His kitty musta took out her anger of him not pitching too well lately and scratched him up. He didn't do terrible Sunday. Though he did bunt into a double play. But he did draw a bases loaded walk to break the tie. I just have some reservations in liking him. Plus he was digging into my back Sunday and he smashed my bananas. Stupid Jeff Suppan.

Here are a select few of pictures from Sunday for your viewing pleasures. (I know you are longing to see them)
There you go, a nice smattering of photos from the day. Craigy stretching, FRANK!, Craig and the base runner playing twister (Craig wins, he's still on his feet), Craig batting and Prince batting.

Did you know that Prince has a song about him? Like a real song? It is a little ridiculous. I want to commission a song about me. Right after I commission that statue.

Right. Chow!

Skins game

I swear my skin is out to get me.

Just as one issue is clearing up, another one shows up. I had hives the other day, HIVES! I have never before had them. It was quite perplexing for a while. They cleared up as the day went on so I didn't think much of it. Then they came back again that night and I woke up with them again. So then I googled skin issues and by self diagnosis I determined that I had hives. Now I haven't had them for about a day. I wonder what brought them on for a day and a half.

I'm just happy that they stuck to my legs and didn't go on my face or something. That wound have been nasty.

Yesterday was a good day. I finally went to a Brewer game. It has been since May that I last graced the concourses of Miller Park. I'm going on Sunday as well and then again in September at least once. It might be a second time as well. Sunday is Jeff Suppan bobblehead day and if you donate school supplies you get a Manny Parra pin! What! I am so there! I need to run into Target tomorrow to get some supplies though. I hope they aren't picky. I'll buy some RoseArt Crayons. No way am I shilling out for Crayola. I'm all for helping those in need but I can't afford the fancy stuff.

Any frequent blog reader, which would be one-me, might have noticed some changes. Yes, I have updated my links. Enjoy. I also changed the name of a few things on that side. I decided I wanted to call past entries "archives" now. And that sums up the changes.

Alright. That's all I got now party people. Keep on keeping on!

Selling it away

I have come up with a plan to make money. I should sell my eggs and my plasma.

Did you know the average going rate for donating your eggs is $5,000 to $10,000? Holy cats! That is a lot of dough. Too bad the process seems a little bitching. Needles, prodding, complications. Not to mention 90 percent of people don't get accepted to donate. It'd be so much easier if I could just jerk it in a cup. But for 5,000 bucks how can you not give it some thought?

I'm not saying I'm gonna do it. I'd like to not risk my ovaries since someday I'd like to crank out a few kids that I get to keep. If I remain unemployed or can't get a good job in a few years then say hello to selling my eggs! You could almost get a car for that!

Plasma doesn't offer quite the financial payout. 20 to 30 bucks a go, but you can do it more often and it carries less risk then the eggs. I read that if you spend 8 hours a month donating you can get about $250. Plus you get to keep your blood! Though I have never donated blood because it scares me.

I should look into kidney selling. Though it would be a shame to get rid of one and then have the other one give out. I wonder, to you pee less if you have only one kidney? Or does your body compensate for it and speed up your heart rate so the blood filters through the one kidney faster?

All sorts of questions!

I should also look into doing those research things. I'm a healthy non-smoker between the ages of 18 and 50. I just don't want to be given the real drug, placebo me please!

Ok enough of that. Yes I could always turn to prostitution for some money but that is illegal. If I'm going to be selling my body I would like it to be a legal activity, which means I should probably not sell a kidney, and benefit others...in a non-dirty way. Ethics be damned.

Cumpleaños feliz

Guess what today is?

It is.....


Yes, Craig Counsell's birthday!


Let's just not discuss how old he is...

The devil went up to Minnesota

Oh Brett Favre. Seriously? Are you kidding me? The Vikings? Now I'm not that much of a Packer fan, I'll watch but I don't get all hot and bothered over them losing. But this, this is just ri-goddamn-diculous.

What better way to represent this debacle then in pictures.

Yes Brett, you are the Devil in Wisconsin. I can't tell you how many fbook statuses I've read damning you, how many people are going to deface their Favre jerseys.
I'm sure many people are wishing this on you if you do play Friday nightUnless you want to leave Green Bay on one of these in NovemberMay I suggest this, an armored carOr one of these, a posse of rough riders.
There you have it. I wrote about all this last year and well, I don't think I've wrote about Favre at all since.

And that's the way it is going to be. Until the Packers play the Vikings at least.

Chi-Caaaa-Go!

So I have finally been to Chicago.

Yes. I had never really been there before. Sad? You betchya! It isn't my fault...I blame my parents. They don't like crowds. They would not have liked it this weekend. We got there at about 830 Friday night, had some grilled pizza, drank some beer, watched some tube.

Saturday we caught the Metra to downtown. Which, by the way, we didn't have to pay for. They never came around to get tickets. We walked around, saw the Sears, er, Willis Tower. Saw some other buildings and started to walk to Navy Pier. We were running late so we had to catch a bus. Holy crowded bus batman! It was jam frackin' packed. It was the Air and Water Show that weekend so that added to the madness. We saw Aladdin at the Shakespeare Theater. It was pretty good. No Abu, that made me a little sad.
After the show we walked along the beachfront up to the Lincoln Park Zoo. While walking we watched some of the planes. Crazy SOBs those pilots. Ca-ray-ze! From the park we walked to Wrigley Field and got there right as the Cubs game got out. It was packed. I felt a little nauseous being around all those Cubs fans. Yuck. We then walked from Wrigley back to Scott and Josh's to relax and have some dinner. I think we probably walked seven or eight miles that day. I googled it and from Navy Pier to Wrigley is about 5 and a half.
After dinner we went to Improv Olympic right by Wrigley and saw what I guess is the show they are best known for, The Harold. It is when they take an audience suggestion and do a thirty minute show from it. The first group did radio and the second did Wisconsin thanks to Scott. It was a really good show. It is pretty amazing what they can come up with on the fly. Plus it was neat to see were people like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler got their start.
Sunday we caught the Metra out of town but this time we had to pay. Booooooo! It's alright. Five bucks for unlimited rides on the weekend, not a bad deal. We went up to the 'burb Winneetka. AB and me didn't know why we were going there. As we were walking down the residential streets with nothing but houses around us I was thinking it had to be a house from a movie. I thought maybe Ferris Bueller. No, no. It was the house from Home Alone! Right when we got there the guy who lived there came outside. Awkward! So we crossed the street to look at it some more. We took pictures in front of it but they are on Ashley's camera. Then we ate at the Panera which was the market in the film. Then we headed back to the city and left a little while later.

It was a blasty blast of a weekend.

Big News Day

So I haven't blogged in a while. I will blame in on a combination of poor internet connect and lack of anything going on.

But! Oh those crazy Milwaukee Brewers, they provided me with a blog post. A little late but meh. On Wednesday there were some big, big changes in Milwaukee. True to form I have decided to put the proceedings to pictures. You know, like I did last year when they had that horrible slide. It isn't nearly as in depth and doesn't really have much of a narrative to it but, here it is.


First we have the news that pitching coach Billy Castro was fired. Why? Have you SEEN the pitchers this year? Somebody had to pay for it! Then came the news that Bill Hall, oh horrible, horrible Bill Hall had been designated for assignment. Which means he had ten days to either be traded, accept an assignment to Nashville or be released. Which in this case meant, bye bye Billy. Bye bye! Let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.Perhaps the news that was the most shocking was the fact that JJ Hardy was sent back the minors. Granted he has not been great as of late so it is for the best, but it is JJ! JJ!
Au Revior, hot stuff. See you in September.

So that pretty much sums it up. The Crew have been doing better since the cleaning house. There is always room for improvement though.

Random: While watching the game Thursday they had GM Doug Melvin on talking about the changes and one thing he said made me laugh a little. He said on the last road trip he went to "The Hangover" with Bill Castro. Really Doug Melvin? 'The Hangover?" I did not peg him as one to see that movie.

Ok. That's all I have for now. Me and the 'bag wen to Chicago this weekend, I'll blog about it later.

Hasta.

The Reason Why

I've got to thinking. Perhaps my new quasi-infatuation with Frank Catalanotto of the Brewers has something to do with more then just his at bat song. His batting stance somewhat resembles that of Craig Counsell's! Well, his old batting stance. You know the one where is hands were above his head and he was all twisted up and looked like one wrong move and he'd bust something. Craig has now moved on to a more traditional stance, le sigh. While Frankie's is far from the strange contortion of Craigo's old one, it has some resemblance.
See that is the old Craig Counsell on the left. So strange, so strange. But oh how I loved it. I miss it. I can't lie. He's too normal now. I don't care that his batting has gotten way better, I miss the old. Ok that's a lie. I like it that he is doing amazazazazazaing this season.

See, now that is Frank's on the right. He gets his hand on up there, not nearly as high as what Craig used to do but there they are. All by his head, the bat kinda sticks out there too. Frank has a bit of a Gary Sheffield waggle going on with his stance. That adds pimp points to it. Did I really just say pimp points? Yes, yes I did. Wow.

Do you like how I'm spicing up the pictures? Not just smack dab in the middle. Thought I'd try something new. Experiment. Crazy stuff.

Nothing much is going on with me. Still trying to find a job before having to bite the bullet and go back to the store. I really do not want to go there. No no no.

Hasta la pasta punks.

Sometimes I miss you so much it hurts

Dear Milwaukee Brewers,

I am writing you this letter to express the sorrow in my heart. You have hurt me. You have broken my heart and now have proceeded to dance over the pieces. Not long ago there was the flicker of hope, the sparkle of possibility. Now that has given way to the dark future that as of present shows no light at the end of the tunnel.

Not once do you fail to succeed over a sub par team, oh no. Now as the second game against the National's, who are 31-68...THIRTY ONE AND SIXTY EIGHT!, you are losing by a large margin.
Against the Pirates you could not gain ground and now you cannot do it again against Washington.

It is a disgrace. It is almost an embarrassment to be a fan. What is there to cheer for? Usually during a losing streak there is something clicking. Not now. Nothing is going well for you. The starting pitchers are bruised and battered. The relievers provide no relief. The bats are not cold but they are far from hot. The defense makes little league errors. This is no longer major league baseball.

You need to change. You need to find starting pitching. Your manager needs to quit thinking so highly of the pitchers. Quit leaving in starters for too long and quit taking out relievers so early.

What happened? Honestly, what the hell has happened? Sure David Bush is on the DL so you are one starting pitcher short. What's your excuse Looper? Suppan? Suppan you may have an oblique strain as announced today but what has been your excuse all season? Parra, you have been better since getting back from the minors but you need to step it up. And don't get me started on the relievers. If the starters looked like they've been run over by a semi then the relievers look like they've been rolled over by a pickup. McClung, I'm happy you're on the DL. Stay there a while. Carlos Villanueva. I can't even look at you. I will personally drive you to Nashville. Seriously. I'll be there tomorrow to get you. You are ridiculous. When was the last time you had a good outing? I don't want to hear any excuses that it was hard since you were starting today, you used to be a frakin' starter. You want to be one. If you can't even handle an inning out of the 'pen then why in the name of whatever is holy are you getting the ball to start a game? Macha needs to lay off crazy juice.

As a real fan I can say this with no hesitation: you suck. You're terrible. But I will keep watching, I will keep rooting and I will continue to get my heart broke as long as you continue to play horrible baseball.

Sincerely,

Me

Dream On, Dream On

Watching Sports Center before I go to bed has started to effect my dreams. First I had a dream that Brewer hitting coach Dale Sveum was traded to the Red Sox for their manager Terry Francona. Then I had a dream Craig Counsell was traded to the LA Dodgers and I was pissed, which you can imagine. So I had to buy a Dodgers' Counsell shirt and for some reason the Dodgers weren't their normal blue and white. And then right when I was waking up Michael Phelps was in my head. I don't remember much about that one.

I can't help but wonder what's next. Am I going to be in the video of dunking on LeBron? Roy Halladay is gonna end up at the Brewers in a trade for a couple of bats and a pack of sunflower seeds?

I've been thinking and in the soundtrack of life, I want a sassy trumpet to punctuate zing! or damnit moments ala "Bewitched." Just add it to the list of sweet soundtrack noises I want.

It was amusing. The other day I hear one of those DiggerHotline people outside marking up the neighbor's yard and he was bitching up a storm at someone on the phone. So naturally I had to go sit by the window to try and eavesdrop. I didn't really make out much of anything but it did provide some amusement from the mundane day to day pull shiz.

Oooohhhh ominous skies! Thunder booms! Lightening cracks! Eeeeeek!

I guess I don't have to worry about watering today. Holla! I wish it'd stop. Apparently my mutha and me are going down to clean the T's house, barf, and were gonna go to the fair! I WANT MY CHEESE CURDS!

Alright. Chow mein.

Having a Brawl

Holy macaroni! Bench clearing brawl during the Brewer game last night! Wooohoo! That makes for some good TV. Except it wasn't the type of brawl where fists are flying, people being tackled, and there are ejections left and right. No one was ejected, there was some pushing and the bullpens did clear. Jason Kendall, who was at the heart of it, did have to be restrained by Prince Fielder which was humorous.

Why anyone would pick a fight with Jason Kendall is beyond me. I'm sure he's nice enough but good god. He looks like he'll mug you on a sun shinning day!
Eeesh. Why would you want to piss him off?

I know you want to so here is the video from the brawl.

Not nearly as exciting as they have the potential to be but still, any fight is fun.

The Brewers have got to stop sucking. End of story.

Ooooohhhh the Zodiac killer on Nash! Ok so I don't know anything about the Zodiac killer. Except that well, he's a serial killer.

...right.

Nasty Little Pervert

Tim Lincecum, the Giants phenomenon, looks like he should be going to homeroom instead of pitching to home plate. He looks like a 13 year old perv!

He should cut his hair, I think that would do wonders for him. Or at the very least do something to it so it doesn't look so greasy. Yuck. It doesn't look greasy in this picture but in the middle of a game I think you could slick a bowling ally with his hair. Perhaps he should pony tail it or do the piggy tails. I'd french braid it for him if I knew how to.

This All-Star game is pretty anti-climatic. Well except it appears that the NL is going to lose yet again. They're about to go into the bottom of the 9th.

Prince Fielder is the Home Run Derby champ! Woo! Now lets just hope that doesn't mean he won't be able to hit very many when they count. Apparently that's the common theme. Home Run Derby champs end up in a slump following the derby.

One more out and the AL will win it once again. Quit sucking National League! You're the premier league! You make your pitchers hit, force the managers to actually manage and not have the luxury of not worrying about pinch hitters.

Annnnnnd that's the ball game. Cripes. Stupid NL. It's only been a dozen years since you've won one...

Riiiiiiiiiiight. That's about it.

Keep on keepin' on punks.

Both sides now.

So in honor of Manny Parra's stellar return and to shame the bullpen (ok it isn't the best) I have made two pictures.
Right. So there's that.

FRANK!

What is with the St. Louis Cardinals and a lot of the players having porn mustaches? Honeslty, I've never seen so many in one place since the last porn flick I watched.

Ok I haven't watched any porn...that had men with the stache's!

Is it the hip thing to do in St. Louis, look like a creeper? Perhaps it is one of those luck things or change of pace. Like the Brewers wore rally pants, shaved their heads and Corey Hart and JJ hardy dyed their hair black in the past to spice things up. If that's the case they could have picked something better. Not something that looks like a sex offender meeting.

God damnit Milwaukee. Why must the bullpen always ruin things? Sure the starters have been off but it seems like anytime a starting pitcher throws a good game then either A. They get no run support or B. the bullpen blows things up. It seems like they can never fire on all cylinders. If it isn't the pitching, it's the hitting. If isn't the hitting then the defense commits errors. They need to get it all working together.

Frank Catalanatto's at bat song is driving me nuts. I can't really hear it since, well, I'm not there but it sound so familiar. I think it might be "I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight" but not sure. It is making me crazy. Random: Frank would be a good name for a husband. Why? Great one to yell at in an angry way. Catalanatto would also be a fabu last name. Why? Beats the hell out of mine. I have last name envy. I must find a man with a good one.

OH! OH! I figured it out! He just came up and I quickly googled the lyrics and it's The Outfield (how appropriate) and "I Just Want to Use Your Love Tonight". Ah. Now I can function the rest of the day knowing it.

Ok. Well the game is winding down and yeah...

Peace and hair grease!

Belly up

Oh those Mets. It was like a comedy of errors last night for them against the Brewers. First the center fielder belly flops going for a routine fly. Then Ryan Braun clears the bases on a throwing error which basically was a grand slam only it wasn't since it was a 3 RBI double and an error. Who cares how they scored, they got 4 runs! Ohhhh my! I'm so happy that there are Nash reruns on. Annnnnd I'm kind of lame.

Alright, that's it.

Maybe it's just me...

Is there something about me that just screams "don't return my calls"?

I mean honestly! What the hell is with people never getting back to me? I had the same trouble when I was writing for the school paper and now I appear to have it with this one! I have absolutely no problems getting people to talk to me in person, that I can do with ease. I don't always strike out with people on the phone but it sure as hell seems a lot more difficult then it should be.

Answer your phones numbnuts! Call me back! That right there is half the reason I doubt my ability to become a reporter. The inabilities I seem to have when it comes to the telephone. It is ridic. That's why I hate the phone, things like that.

So anyway, I might be conning...well convincing my sister that we should go to the Brewer game Wednesday afternoon. I mean come on! What better time is there to go? A day game which means no having to navigate the hellish traffic in the dark and day games do not sell out. That also means we should be able to sneak to close seats! And the game is against the Mets. I don't think I've been to one against the Mets yet.

Blach! I'm waiting on the water softener dude. He called at a little after 8 saying he'd be here between 3 and 330. Now he called at 320 saying he was just leaving. It's almost 4. I have to be somewhere at 5. This dude better get here! I guess I'm gonna have to call ol' mama and tell her she's gonna have to come home early just incase the guy is still here when I gotta go.

Alright. Well I need to finish up some stuff for the paper so hasta la pasta party people!

I'll whistle your pig

Good news! Internet is back! A woohoo! It was a long week without it, lemme tell ya.

We have a woodchuck that lives in the woods. His name is Walter. Did you know that woodchucks are also groundhogs? Or perhaps my favorite, a whistlepig? We decided that we should trap him, make him a cage or a hole or something and then start our very own Puxatony Phil! The sign will read something like "Come See Walter, Wisconsin's very own whistlepig aka woodchuck aka groundhog. I anticipate we could make tens of dollars in this business venture. First I have to catch the sneaky bastard.

Blach. I could go into more stuff but I'm not really in the mood. Oh hey! Amazing Brewers win tonight, by the way. Walk off winner. Love it.

Ok. Later alligators.

I like to ride my bicycle

In the span of two days I saw to very odd things. On Sunday I saw a trailer full of clowns going to the road and on Monday I saw someone riding a giant bike. You know those old. giant tricycles that people would ride while wearing a bowler hat and suit coat? Well the bike was your standard Trek but with to of the giant ass wheels. It was odd. It's like the circus is in town or something. I don't like the circus.

So...it's been the same old same old lately. Ya know, doing much of nothing. I might go hit some golf balls today, spice things up. Exciting, no?

There's a new dog next door and the stupid thing barks a lot. It's a binge barker, goes on for five minutes, stops for like three hours. Annnnd now the pooch is done.

Blach. Bored. No Brewers on today, sad. And speaking of sad Trevor Hoffman blew his first save. They won at least so that part is good and Counsell had a good game so it made the game even better! A triple, fighting with an ump, a great grab, busting up a double play, a RBI. Not gonna lie, I kinda want to see him get thrown out of a game for yelling at an ump.

Well...that's it I guess.

Hasta!

Silhouetto of a can...

Dangit!

Now I have the Mountain Dew version of Bohemian Rhapsody stuck in my head!




Now you suckers can get it stuck in your head too. Muwahahaha!

So the school board was amazing last night...not. Thought it was funny at one point because they were discussing the alternative high school (where the bad kids go basically) and they were talking about personal matters the students had and then a principal said something about how it was sensitive material and with a reporter in the room they'd like to keep it that way and everyone looked at me. It was a little awkward. It was one of those head snap things where all the sudden everyone in the room snaps their head to look at you. I just sat there and was like "uhhhhhh" I think I did an "oh I understand" head nod. But bitches if it's an open meeting then it is fair game! I don't think we'd ever print anything that was said about the kids cuz it wouldn't be very tasteful.

Alright. That's it really. I was woke up at a little before 8 so I could fill the guy in about the meeting, good lawrd!

Hasta Luego! Hasta Luego! Dadadadada! ...Oh I'm gonna slap Ashley when she gets home...she gets all these stupid songs stuck in my head!

Official

Well?

have you looked at my new site? yes? Good for you, yay! No? Why the hell not?!

Aaaaannnnyyywwwaaaayyyy....

So. I'm officially now an intern/stringer! Which means hello another line on my resume! I like to put things on my resume. It makes me feel important. But you know what would make me feel really important? Getting a real job! But hey, I'll take what I can get.

So yeah...I don't really have much to say...my days are still pretty much filled with searching for jobs and sitting on my ass. Fun stuff! I'm going to a school board meeting tonight which will be good cause I need to get out more. I am going to go nuts if I stay here for too long I can guarantee that.

Well...chow mein!

New Digs

Hey people, check out my new site! I decided to make a picture one. It's just a blog but whateves, it works!


www.doubleclutchphoto.blogspot.com

Why double clutch? Because.

That's the best reason I have for it so far. I thought it sounded kinda cool. I'll come up with a reason why soon enough! It's supposed to be baseball-ish, not truck-ish. Double Clutch is when a player has to get a better grasp on the ball before he can throw it. So I'm thinking about using that and coming up with a crafty saying or something. I don't know yet.

So check it out! You know you want to!